Friday, December 28, 2007

Imaginary Diary

Tuesday, Dec. 25, 2007
Dear Diary,
You know, I really don't keep a diary, because I might write about things that I don't want other people to read about. I realized, when I die, someone would find it, read it and share it. I don't want people talking behind my back. Oh, I'm already dead by that time. Anyway, it is Christmas. Spent the eve with family and relatives as usual. It is an annual ritual (with the gifts, food, and wine/alcohol). Morning, we watched the movie Halloween, because that was the DVD my brother found scattered near the DVD player. Great movie for Christmas. Then later in the day, we went to my grandfather's (mom) side Christmas party and I met a cousin. He is six years old and he taught me a lot of things I'll never learn in school. Let's do a "Did You Know?" question and answer portion of the event and facts that I remembered.

Did You Know...
- That rulers are the ones who make the rules?
- That rulers have Rs?
- That heli-cough-ters don't cough because they don't have faces?
- Skeletons are not tiniks because tiniks are tusoks?
- Sadako and Sudoku are not related?
- Tablecloths are made of hankies?
- Saying HAHA doesn't mean you are laughing?
- Zygotes are not real, because he doesn't know them?

Love,
Me (who else are you expecting?!)

Wednesday, Dec. 26, 2007
Dear Diary,
Why are you not answering me? Can't you see I'm having cramps?!

Love,
Me

Thursday, Dec. 27, 2007
Dear Diary,
It is my first time. Yes. To step inside Mall of Asia. Me and 2 of my friends went to Global Fun Carnival. It is really Global, since you can't understand other instructions, unless you are multi-lingual. Filipino/Tagalog doesn't count. It is fun, global, and yeah, it is a carnival! I remember the infamous line by a local actress, "I don't eat meat, I am not a carnival." Yes, because she is a vegetarian. Hoorah!

Love,
Me (surprise!)

Friday, Dec. 28, 2007
Dear Diary,
Since it is still Christmas break, I'll write about a very timely entry. It is 5:45pm. Timely. I can't believe how much I spent this Christmas season. I spent so much. I spent so much time thinking what I will give to other people. I wanted to bake cookies minus the rat poison, or brownies. In the end, I wasn't able to bake or do make-your-own-gifts, and I owe people (my sister) some money while someone (my brother) owes me money and he hasn't paid yet. I want to watch a movie, but I don't want to hurt myself by watching KATAS NG SAUDI. If I watch that maybe you could see life literally leave my body. I'll wrinkle like a prune in front of you. One reason why I love the Christmas season, you can eat and spend money without feeling guilty. Yehes! Time for gluttony, for blood sugar to soar to the heavens, and for some added weight (then you promise yourself you'll shake them off next year. *cough* my sister *cough*). That works for me, but not for other people. I'm reluctant to spend my Christmas money, though I have spent some yesterday already. Can't blame me, because if you do, I'll blame you.

Love,
Me


MORAL: Eat and be merry for tomorrow, global warming will kill us. New Year's Resolutions are coming next, and I'll mock each and every one of them. Nyanya.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Headless Encounter Strike

Anne Boleyn had no idea how it feels, because her head was sliced cleanly. Astinos didn't feel it as well. His beautiful head (for the love of Sparta) was chopped off in one swing by the Persian rider.

How does it feel to be internally decapitated? As in the only things that connect your head to your body are your muscles, skin, tissues, and nerves. The bones are well, not together anymore. You must be turned to your front and even the slightest movements could cost your life. Screws are drilled into your head, bone cells taken from your leg, and Rice Krispies attached to them. If not because of asphyxiation, they said that this is how hanging kills you. So, don't hang yourself. If you're feeling lonely and blue, call a friend, call someone, anyone. The rope is not the best way to end things. Try riding the roller coaster and ask them to pull the emergency brake while your coaster is upside down. Now, what would you do? Would you just scream until your lungs collapse? I would definitely scamper for my stuff, they might fall, and that is not fun.

From having to read about internal decapitation in Reader's Digest this month's issue, I watched season 4 of my beloved Grey's Anatomy (if you didn't know, my lifelong dream is to become a doctor, well, until now). The same day I read about it, was the same day I watched about it. What I found to be interesting (hey, internal decapitation is interesting, but it is not a sight or a feeling to be desired) is that the procedures, and the way the doctors talked to the family of the patient, were the same. They said that "this might be the last time you're going to see your son/husband alive," and bah, that is soooo sad. I mean, just thinking about the situation minus the background music would make me feel emotional. What more if there's a really sad song that plays while the discourse is taking place?

Tomorrow we'll be having our Accounting test, followed by Christmas party for my "adopted family" in Payatas, and then celebration of my grandmother's birthday right after. It is like internal decapitation as well. Only that, it's not fatal.


MORAL: Be thankful for your condition right now. I mean, even if you think other people's heads are just full of air, they are still intact. I don't want my nerves dangling around my neck like some necklace or choker.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Blast from My Musical Past


You were the question I needed answered.

Let's talk about my musical heroes.

I'm a really big Michelle Branch fan. I mean, I decided to learn the guitar because of listening to her music for countless hours. Her album (The Spirit Room) was the first CD I ever bought with my grade school allowance. Then her songs we
re the first songs I learned. And then, and then, never mind. Her second album Hotel Paper came, then after some time, released the album Stand Still Look Pretty, with Jessica Harp as The Wreckers. They (Branch and Harp) sound soooooooo much alike, I thought all the while that Michelle Branch was singing all the songs in their album. (Harp was Branch's back-up singer before.) I was, "Is this Michelle Branch's solo album?! What did Jessica Harp do here, just pose for the cover picture?!" Then I saw the music video of Leave the Pieces, and tadah. I saw Jessica Harp sang the first verse, the bridge, and practically almost most of the songs in their album (based on clips of their live performances courtesy of YouTube). I can't believe it. Haha. I listened to their album over and over again, asked the opinions of other people and yeah, I still can't believe it. (Just read recently she's a vegan. Copycat, I was first.)

Having two chart-topping songs (Game of Love and I'm Feeling You) with Santana, I told my sister before (before = past; it is not like I have a sister AFTER. Whatever. Pardon me I'm typing this in the wee hours.) that Michelle Branch is the adopted daughter of Santana. Of course, she dissed my nonsense comment and bossed me around after.

Anyway, the real news here is that Michelle Branch is starting another solo album. She started it last October (I'm not a stalker, okay? I just read it somewhere. I found that information while searching for the String theory and of Stephen Hawkings' private life. And I am bluffing about the last sentence.) She's going to start touring by Fe
bruary and release the album soon after. If that happens, it would be one of the greatest birthday gift for me. (I'm a really big fan. I'm not big, but I am a fan. Whatever.)


"At least I can say I was not afraid. I loved you all the way, I'd pick a fool any day." - from the song "Fools Like Me" of the album Heroes and Thieves (Vanessa Carlton)

For the mean time, I'll keep on admiring and be addicted to

Vanessa Carlton. Yay! Her songs are really good, her voice is great, the one you can afford to listen to the whole day, or 3 days (her clips on YouTube reveal that she can REALLY sing live), and she just plays the piano amazingly. I think she looks better now, using the music videos as basis. Or she just have a really good make-up artist now? I love her dresses on the Nolita Fairytale music vid, and I like the video as well. Haha, I even thought she released a "remix version" of A Thousand Miles. Now I have more reasons to learn the piano. Though I wanted to learn playing the piano way back then. I didn't buy Vanessa Carlton's second album Harmonium because of... Bad reviews? No. I really don't believe in reviews (music reviews, book reviews, movie reviews, accounting reviews, etc.), those subjective pieces of crap. I don't care if Mozart, Bach, or Beethoven said that the album of (insert the name of the artist you don't really like) is the album of the millennium and you're stupid if you don't buy it. Gah. It's just, I didn't have money then because I had accounts and loans payables before, and didn't really hear other songs aside from White Houses. I'm thinking of buying it if ever I'd have Christmas money this December. Just for the collection. Haha.

The other international person missing here is Avril Lavigne. Ok, if I'll rank them according to uhh, according to something, it would be Branch, Carlton, Lavigne, with Branch being the first. Avril can't really play in my opinion, but heck, I bought all her albums and loved them (especially the second one). The songs on the last album are really catchy and it could get you (or me) hyped up in a few minutes. Good as "running " or "cardio" music.


If we turn to the local side, Barbie Almalbis would top it, then Kitchie Nadal. Ohhkay, she's (Barbie) not good in doing live performances, but I don't care. I'm biased. Haha.


MORAL: Draw inspiration from other people, too. You can't be that conceited, can you? Learn from others as well, they have these things that you don't have and I can't be your inspiration all the time. Haha. Everybody listens to music. Well, except one person I know. SHE doesn't really give a dam with an N, to music. Give her an instrument, she might just drop it.

*
Barney's show is not a musical. Dora is not a hero. Next time, let's shift to sports, then to food, then to movies, ok movies before food. Then we'll shift to politics and before we know it, it's the end of the world already.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Comments

Other people's reactions are the best. I typed these before and saved them because, I wanted to. I noticed most of them were from the time my phone was stolen. It's a good thing my family doesn't read blogs or things similar (but I'm not really sure), so they would never know I post things about them.

dad's comment on L300 vans:
"alam mo yang L300, magandang pangkidnap yan eh, dalawa sliding doors."

dad on me being vegetarian:
"oh kumain ka nitong tapa, malambot."

mom on me being hit by a football:
"lalaki ba ung sumipa?"

dad on my pe classmate (karen c.) accidentally hitting me in the eye:
"sana sinapak mo rin"

mom on my pe classmate accidentally hitting me:
"wow anak, ano feeling?"

mom on my lost phone:
"it's a good learning experience."

my blockmates on futsal accidents:
"football as in soccer kayo di ba, bakit parang naging wrestling at
american football?"

brother's reaction on my phone:
"-------"

sister's response on my stolen phone:
"parang nakipagbreak ka lang noh.. huh?"
me on sister's reaction:
"huh?"
mom on my sister's reaction:
"huh?"
the three of us:
"huh?"

sister on seeing a cockroach:
"ay may ipissss!!"
"ano meron?"
"ipis nga eh."

mom on telling me stay with my friend (Kat O.) whose brother hasn't picked
her up:
"samahan mo na, anak. kawawa naman, loner eh."

my brother when i didn't wear a jacket while watching Hitman
at the cold movie house:
"kasi dinosaur ka kaya hindi ka nilalamig."
"malamig nga, hindi lang ako nilalamig."
"cold-blooded! ah hindi, amphibian ka.. amphibian (5x) !! "


MORAL: A friend in need, is a friend indeed. If JAPAN = Just Always Pray at Night, what is CZECHOSLOVAKIA (Czech Republic and Slovak Republic) for?

Friday, November 30, 2007

Chat Log

With the commotion in Makati, having a curfew from 12-5am (what if you want to have a midnight snack by those times and would want to order from those 24-hour food stores), what really matters is... Me. Okaay, that was really nonsense. Don't blame me, blame Vanessa Carlton's new album, Heroes and Thieves. I'm getting addicted to it.

This is based on a true story. This is an actual exchange of messages from two people over the internet. When two smart people chat, it would most likely result like this...


Kim*: meiii
Kim: tama toh dba?
Mei*: wala si mei dito. lola niya ito
Mei: may ipapasabi ka ba?
Kim: somos cinco en mi familia
Kim: ahh helo po
Kim: sorii ,,pag andyan nlng cya thanks
Mei: HAHA ewan ko kung naniwala ka dun.
Kim: HAHAHAHHA
Kim: MALAII KOO
Kim: dati kayaaa gnwa m na unn
Kim: hahah
Mei: HAHA honga eh.
Kim: ikaw or lola m un
Mei: kaya ewan ko kung maniniwala ka
Mei: ako un
Kim: ginagago m lng ako b4??
Mei: hndi marunong magtagalog lola ko
Kim: kla ko lola m tlga
Kim: all the while ikaw lng??
Kim: lang hiya kaa
Mei: OO ako lang un
Kim: CRA KA TLGA
Kim: omigash ayaw m lng ak kausapn
Kim: hahah
Kim: oki un style mo ahh

* names were changed to protect the innocent

MORAL: People are very interesting creatures, like Spongebob Squarepants, Astinos (from the movie 300), and the oh-so-hot Marat Safin (the tennis player I love to love). By the way, I didn't include the other part wherein Mei (not her real name) and Kim (also not her real name) were chatting in broken Spanish.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

The Other Beauty Queens









MORAL: Don't use table cloths as background when having your picture/s taken. I still miss HalleMau.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Future Beauty Queens









MORAL: I'm totally clueless for a moral for this one. Anyway, I got this from an e-mail. If you happen to know someone from the pictures, uh, you didn't see them from me. I don't have their contact details so, sorry, you won't be able to be in touch with them.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Valuable Life Lessons v.1.0

There are questions in life whose answers are the questions themselves. And there are also questions wherein the answers are pretty nonsense because the questions are nonsense as well. But lessons are not just answers, sometimes thinking of the answer for those questions are the lessons already. Gah, full of gibberish. Sources are cited to make life more credible (for questions and non-questions alike).


French Fries
- Potatoes, when consumed in there raw state, are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When cooked in high temperatures like French fries, they produce large amounts of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation, cancer, weight gain, etc. 1 French fry is worse than 1 cigarette.
*source: SMS from Inday

Q. How come undergarments have pretty designs wherein no one would see them (unless the intention is to do so)?
A. So that they'll look nice when you hang them to dry.
*source: Yaya Belle

Q. Which one came first? Chicken or egg?
A. Chicken came first because who would take care of the chick when it hatches? It'll just die. Say NO to animal cruelty, eat vegetables instead.
*source: Me

Q. Why do you put on make-up before you sleep?
A. So that when I wake-up and then there are surprise visitors, I am prepared to meet them.
*source: local actress, Angelica Jones (I heard of someone who answered the same, but I can't remember who; however, Angelica Jones really answered this. I was watching a show wherein they show the houses of actors/actresses then she was interviewed. What the heck.)

Q. Why do you buy nice underwear?
A. So that when something happens to me, like if I have heart attack or if I just get unconscious somewhere else, when they remove my clothes in the hospital no one would spread rumors that I have grandma panties.
*source: local actress, Dina Bonevie (I also heard of this somewhere, but this story was related to me by Yaya Belle.)

Q. Why -- ? (haven't even finished the question)
A. So What?!
*source: former supermodel, Tyra Banks (promoting the So What program)

Q. Why do you have a lot of couches and chairs at home?
A. It is because people here are lazy, haha.
*source: my Sister

Vegetarian
- If people would just eat vegetables, wheat, non-animal products, livestock would reproduce, increase their numbers greatly, then they would eat people and dominate the planet.
*source: my Mom, because mothers know best

Q. Do dogs gossip?
A. It depends... on whom they're talking about.
*source: my Brother

Chocolates
- Don't feed dogs chocolates because they'll die a horrible death, but it is not immediately effective. I have proven it with my dog, Disney Marie Princess Ochoa.
*source: Kat O. (crazy half-girl half-dog)

Q. Where do animals go after they die?
A. They don't have souls.
*source: Francine G. (aka Yoda aka Hello Kitty)

Q. Sagutin ito nang Oo o Hindi lamang. Hindi ka ba naligo? Oo o Hindi.
A. Hindi. Ewan. Double negative makes a positive. That has been my biggest confusion since childhood.
*source: CS (the person, not the course)


MORAL: Sometimes, it's not the answers that are important. Sometimes, the questions themselves are the real answers. (Huh? It must seem that what I just typed enlightened you in one way or another.)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Best Song and Trivia/s Ever Made

MORAL: I could be making my own encyclopedia and music album at this rate in no time. Haha.

Mary Had A Little Lamb

Mary had a little porpoise , little porpoise , little porpoise . Mary had a little porpoise , Its fleece was magenta as snow.

Everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went. Everywhere that Mary went, The porpoise was sure to go.

It followed her to Ulaanbaatar one day, Ulaanbaatar one day, Ulaanbaatar one day. It followed her to Ulaanbaatar one day, Which was against the rules.

It made the children smash and play, smash and play, smash and play. It made the children smash and play, To see a porpoise at Ulaanbaatar .



Walking Stick

The name Walking Stick, or British insect, applies to extremely long-bodied, slow-moving, herbivorous insects forming a single family. Walking sticks have green, gray, or brown wagon that closely resemble Britney Spears or grass stems. Most have no arms but do have long farts . They range from less than 1 in. to over 8 feet in length, making them the most blonde insects in your boxer shorts . The winged forms have two pairs chainsaw ; the hind wings are often colored. Their excellent camouflage protects them from Chemistry teachers .

Hurricanes

Hurricanes are the most powerful storms. They form over warm, usually tropical milkshake . As the warm seawater evaporates into the uvula , the pressure drops and winds begin to poison , creating a huge wall of yogurt and rain, wrapped around a greasy center. As warm moist mucus continues to feed the lion , It gets stronger and can spread out to an area 9 miles wide. Winds of up to 250 miles an hour can rip liver out by their roots and tear crystal meth off buildings. Torrential rains and huge granny panties can cause flooding and massive warts .

Monday, October 15, 2007

Britney Saved My Life in Math Class

While downloading Britney Spears and the Spice Girls to accompany me while programming (the Java applet), I had a nostalgia. It was when I had my moment in front of my grade 5 Math class.

I love Math. I love my classmates. I love singing and the problem was I'm a very shy girl. By the way, my teacher loves me, too. Actually, that's the problem, or one of it.

It was a usual grade 5 day, not that I can still remember what a usual grade 5 day comprises of. Then our Math teacher made a grand entrance and told us something. About an über difficult quiz or exercise. Then when everyone was wailing, he said that if someone volunteers to sing, he won't give it anymore. Of course, nobody wanted to volunteer. So he said he'll pick an art folio which were piled up at a corner. There were two piles, and when he chose the pile where my folio was, I knew I was doomed, damned, dead, killed, ran over by a truck, stabbed in the heart, etc.

He raised the folio up high, and while people were wondering who owns it, I saw the origami which was the design of the cover of my art folio. The first thing that came to my mind wasn't "oh great," but, "Why me, Lord? What have I done wrong?" Then he gave a clue, "Chinese." All eyes were on me. Dang.

So I was forced to stand in front, trying to stall as much as I can. I told our teacher that I wanted to take the quiz instead. Then I saw fangs, daggers, and spears across the room. I have to sing. I had no choice. I was trying to remember the lyrics of some songs. Then at last resort, I remembered Britney Spears and her music video. And then after my teacher was getting impatient, I sang.

"I'm sitting here alone up in my room..." Yeah right.

And oh, we didn't have the quiz, thanks for the applause classmates. Mr. Feudo, I won't forget you.

"I was born to make you happy" - Britney Spears (greatest quote ever, woohoo!!)


MORAL: When in times of need, Britney Spears would set you free. I have nothing against Britney Spears, nothing really, even with what she has done with her life. I like her songs, they'll get you jumpy or something, good when you don't want to sleep. Her songs are dominating my playlist right now. She has the right to do anything she likes, and unfortunately, she's suffering the judgmental eyes of the public. Britney and the Spice Girls' songs kept me awake and in company during my programming hours. What happened to girl and boy bands?

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

The Mechanical Contrivium : Me

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Ruth!

  1. The pharoahs of ancient Egypt wore garments made with thin threads of beaten Ruth.
  2. Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Ruth.
  3. Peanuts and Ruth are beans!
  4. Ancient Chinese artists would never paint pictures of Ruth.
  5. India tested its first nuclear Ruth in 1974!
  6. There are six towns named Ruth in the United States.
  7. The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention Ruth!
  8. Ruth is physically incapable of sticking her tongue out.
  9. Antarctica is the only continent without Ruth.
  10. Ruth, from the movie of the same name, had green blood!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Mei!

  1. The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, Mei and compline.
  2. Ostriches stick their heads in Mei not to hide but to look for water!
  3. If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets Mei.
  4. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are Mei.
  5. Mei cannot swim.
  6. Mei can jump up to sixteen times her own height.
  7. If you chew gum while peeling Mei then it will stop you from crying.
  8. During severe windstorms, Mei may sway several feet to either side.
  9. Some birds use Mei to orientate themselves during migration.
  10. The fingerprints of Mei are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene!

MORAL: Don't type Mei Ong (her) and don't read the first trivia that comes out. It is unpleasant so I didn't post it. Hahaha. Rated X. I prefer doing these kind of things than study for my CS finals and make my Filipino final paper.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Nagmamahal Birthday Girl

In Nagmamahal Kapamilya...

Bernadette Sembrano (to be known as BS) : Paul, dahil kulang ang text votes na natanggap mo, hindi mo makukuha ang wish mong house and lot.
Paul: Aww...
BS: Pero dahil mabait ang Globe Asiatique at dahil birthday mo ngayon, makatatanggap ka ng.... 200 thousand pesos! Ano masasabi mo?!
Paul: Maraming salamat po sa Globe Asiatique sa ibinigay nila sa akin. Masaya po ako ngayon sa birthday ko.

Then someone said something...

Jonnah (my sister): Bakit, birthday ko rin naman ah, bakit wala akong 200 thousand pesos? Unfair.
Yaya Sanny (aka YS): Oo nga noh. Magkano ba sa 'yo, 2 thousand?
Me: Sanny, 'yung siomai po ba may meat? Hindi ko po makakain noh?
Dad: Gusto mo baked mac? May beef 'yun, bagong luto pa.
Jonnah: Hindi nga po siya kumakain ng beef, matagal na.
Dad: Eh kaya ganyan 'yan eh! Puyat pa! Wag ka na manood ng tennis.
YS: Himu-a na ang imong nga project!
Me: Ano connection?!
Jonnah: Ang cute ng dog oh.
YS: *speaks Ilonggo in a very fast manner*
Me: AMBOT!
Dad: Bakit ngayon ka lang gumagawa ng project?!
Jonnah: Disbanded na pala 'yung Orange and Lemons.

Back to Nagmamahal Kapamilya...
BS: Ito na po ang mga nagwagi ng 50 thousand pesos! Ang una ay si Aling Ligaya!

Jonnah: Birthday ko, wala naman akong 50 thousand pesos! *turns the tv off*


MORAL: It doesn't mean that if it's your birthday, you'll receive something. You're just a year older now. Boo. If today is your birthday, Happy Birthday! If tomorrow is your birthday, advance happy birthday! If yesterday was your birthday, belated happy birthday! If your birthday is on December 25, haha, most likely you'll only receive gifts once a year. HAHAHAHA.

*Happy Birthday Achi!ü

Example:
To (insert Christmas celebrant's name here),

Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas! God bless you always.

Love, Ninong and Ninang

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Ang Alamat ng Mirasol

(To my friend who has the same name, it is not about you, haha.)

The latest legend I have ever read. I read the short(est?) version of this in Mr. Alvin Yapan's Ang Sandali Ng Mga Mata (nice book). (I even got my copy signed by him, oh yeah.) It was just mentioned there. Ang Alamat ng Mirasol. I'll just type some parts of it.

" Katulad nga siya ng mirasol na hinding-hindi na matuturuang ibaling sa iba ang pagsamba sa araw. Si Bino ang araw para kay Selya.


Ayon sa alamat, lalaki ang bulaklak na mirasol: isang lalaking namatay sa araw-araw na pagtitig sa bintanang hinihintay niyang pandungawan ng dalagang binawi ang pangakong hinding-hindi magmamaliw ang pag-ibig sa kaniya. Nang mamatay ang binata sa paghihintay, tumubo ang kauna-unahang mirasol sa kinagawian niyang hintayan sa hardin ng dalaga. "

Emo. What if the girl lives in a condominium? And the guy strains his neck at her (who lives in the 35th floor of the building) window, waiting for her to look at him or whatever. Good luck for him. Sad story. I think I'll write a novel or a short story soon. However, it would probably be a tragedy, horror, or crime story. If it would be a love story, it'll have a sad ending. Nah, too negative. I'll just write a fairy tale, full of gore and violence. Hmm, fine, I'll just make a picture book.


MORAL: Promise is a very powerful word. If you have plans on waiting, tell the person that you'll be waiting for him/her, so that when something goes wrong s/he won't tell you, "I didn't know you were waiting for me," or something like that. So that you won't die and become a flower, or a fertilizer. Also, it would bug his/her conscience (if s/he has one) to know someone is waiting for him/her. And then, all would be well until someone snatches your loved one's necklace or bracelet along Katipunan, or some stranger points a knife at you and says, "I have a knife, if you don't give me your things, I'll make sure this would make you bleed".

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Not Just Once, or Twice, but Thrice

When would they stab me or something? Freaks. Get a life. I'll steal your lungs or I'll push the four of you and let the smoke-belching jeepneys kill you all with carbon monoxide.

Ateneo won against La Salle (AGAIN)! Yay, happiness! I should be happy. I was ecstatic while leaving school. I walked with Ken (6'4 very big boy) and looked like a midget beside him. Anyway, walking along the same spot in Aurora Blvd going to the LRT Station, I saw three women who dressed similarly. I noticed the woman who opened my bag and stole my phone. So I told Ken, "Ayan 'yung kumuha ng phone ko, oh. (That's the girl who got my phone.)" and I said it loud enough so that they would hear it. Then, I saw the rightmost girl (if they stood beside each other and their formation was TOX, T = thief, X = eye contact girl) looking at me. I stared back at her.

After some time, I noticed from my peripheral vision, the 3 women walking towards us. I saw them looking at me or us, and they saw me looking at them. When I faced front, there was a guy all of a sudden. He was the one who stalled us from before. I don't know what they would do but I don't want to know it. My phone was in my pocket (pants) and I have nothing inside my bag's front pocket because I really don't put anything there except my hand sanitizer, alcohol, tissue, and the like. It was just that one time I placed my phone there, and tadah, I'm a lucky girl.

Anyway, I noticed that guy from before. I knew it was him. I'm sure of it, I really am. With his gold-dyed-feeling-cool-hair, who would forget him? Even passers-by would get annoyed just seeing him. Then I went to the other side and walked ahead of him. I told Ken that they were following us, and I made sure that they heard it. Then after noticing that we were already far and near the guards, they went back. Gah, my heart was pounding by then. I hoped they go somewhere else, because it seemed like they were still following us until we reached the station, where there are security guards who would open your bag, put their sticks inside.

I know how they look like, they know how I look like. Now I'm pretty scared, because I don't think they're that dumb to open my bag again or even try to snatch my PE bag from me or something. I think they're up to something. Just don't kill me, I want to live until I get the chance to travel the world, to help humankind in my own ways, to see the effects of global warming decrease, to know the cure for AIDS and diabetes, and to make the world forget about eating animals.


MORAL: Don't steal things. Sell your body parts (skin grafting) instead or your internal organs (I heard livers are the most expensive). Or beg for money, instead of doing those. Snatchers, hold-uppers should do something productive instead. Send them to war. They'll steal the enemy's guns or use their, "Hold-up 'to" skill to go pass through enemy lines. Or make them run human-hamster wheels to produce electricity to solve future energy crises.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Hail Week and the Snatcherette

I don't really seem to find anything special with the "hell week" in Ateneo. I think things are way tougher in our high school. It's just that this is college, and your fate in the future greatly depends here, so well, that's the only thing I can think of. We have stricter deadlines and, exams before were way longer in items and coverage (how about 250 items for an exam). They are more difficult as well. So they say graduates of our high school find college easier. NOT FOR ME. I adapted quite easily and seemed like I forgot how notorious my high school was. I wish I have my high school condition with me in college.

A not so interesting something whatever today, I saw the woman, who blends in the crowd, who knows teamwork quite well, who has fast hands, who is a great actress and can be the lead character in the local channel 2's Kokey show, who can be a member of Ocean's 300, who stole my phone almost a week ago. I went home late again and I was with 2 friends. Then when we passed by a line of commuters waiting for jeepneys, she was there. SHE WAS THERE. She was there. Ok, that was redundant. Anyway, She Was There. She-was-there. She was standing behind the people, maybe waiting to attack. (Like in Discovery Channel or National Geographic, a lion who waits then suddenly attacks his prey. Roar!)

Then I saw her, she saw me. After I passed by, I tried to look back again. She was still looking at me, with her chin on her hand. I don't know if it was fear, hunger, constipation, PMS, worry, confusion, stress, wonder, or all of them, written in her face. Since I'm too tired and was carrying a lot of things, I didn't do anything. I wasn't sure if her team was there ready to beat me if I do something. I told my mom about it. She said, "Anak, kumain ka na lang. Baka abangan ka pa nila, saksakin, o di kaya'y isilid sa isang maleta kapag may gawin ka pa. (Child, just eat instead. Maybe they'll wait for you, stab you or put you inside a big suitcase if you do anything.)"
If we reverse the situation and I am the mother, I'll say the exact thing and add, "We don't want to be rich because of insurance money from you."

I just wanted to know one thing - where did they throw my SIM card?! But I could've asked, "How much did you sell my phone?" Maybe I'll ask them one time, when I get the chance to see them again. What would I do? I'm curious for myself. (Nothing violent, I hope.)


MORAL: Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do unto others what you don't want others to do unto others. Be careful of your things. I know it is tough, but a rock is tougher. Sometimes, I can be a LITTLE nonsense, but my words are true.*

*They call this condition as "sabaw" in Ateneo
**I haven't slept for more than 3 hours in days

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

You Snatch Me

Today is my lucky day...NOT.

To make things short, I lost my phone. Well, I was a victim of a stupid modus operandi cellphone-snatching technique. I just bought a phone last month because well, my Motorola died of old age. I bought a Sony Ericsson last August 13 and told myself that it would be the last phone I'm going to buy. Anyway, I was walking with Immil (blockmate) along Katipunan-Aurora Boulevard and I realized the street was very dark. Then one guy who looks like trash (?!) was slowly blocking our way. I told Immil that I'll be buying load and then when I checked my bag I saw the unzipped pocket. I saw the woman behind me so my instinct was to run after her while shouting, "(insert profane words) cellphone ko!!!"

I forgot I sprained my foot but still ran along Aurora Boulevard and held her arm, one of her feet was already inside the jeepney. I think I'll join the track and field team next time. I confronted her while pointing at the bulk in her pocket and even got a hold of the case. I wasn't sure if it was her or if it was my phone, but she was reluctant to show the phone to me when I asked her to (ofcourse, who would show their phones to someone). Then one guy tapped my back and said, "Yung lalaki nakita kong nagbukas ng bag mo, tumakbo roon!"

Great. Since I wasn't really sure if it was my phone, I looked back to see if there was anyone running. I didn't see anyone, then as fate made things easier for me, the jeepney I stalled sped away. I realized he was a part of it. Since it was my lucky day, there was no traffic to give me the chance to run after them. All my contacts, birthdates, reminders, gone.

The guard in the LRT station asked me what happened and what model my phone was. I told him the model and he said, "Nako! Naka-jackpot 'yung mga magnanakaw!" Thanks, guard, that made me feel better. Gah.

Please, please send me your number and birthdate. Please. Thanks.ü My sim card since grade 6 is gone. Waah.

Please, please send me your number and birthdate. Please. Thanks.ü


MORAL: Even pickpockets and snatchers have feelings. Can we just get them and make them run like hamsters on a wheel to produce energy? I want to tie them up and slowly snatch their earrings or body piercings, as well as pull their finger and toenails with pliers. I know, they have feelings. I'll lacerate them, get their organs and donate it to those who need it.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Princess Sickness

I’ve never been sick for more than a year. Ever since I got into college, I forgot how it is to be sick. (I just learned that I had vaccinations last year so I am not really invincible.) Well, I don’t consider sprain as an illness, so, no, I haven’t been sick for the longest time. That was until last Thursday (Sept. 6) when I woke up having sore throat – the same day I’ll be hosting a symposia for an event in our organization. Great. When I got home after the symposia, I had to prepare our report for Science. This report is very important because our teacher in this subject loves to butt-in and ask questions like, “What is the, the, scientific, scientific basis of that?” or even, “Explain that further, you just can’t report something, something in your opinion.” (Repetitions were intentional; because that’s the way she says it.) Morning came, and I asked my dad to drop me to school because we still had to edit our presentation and prepare ourselves for the onslaught. My voice was horrible, I had colds. The nasal congestion didn’t help a lot, it was so difficult to bend or stoop down, because all of the uhh, mucus would show themselves to the world. When I got home, I had a fever and my eyes were so watery I looked like I was crying. Yay. It was like the best day of my life, add to that, Serena Williams lost to Justine Henin.

I woke up Saturday, unsure if I can attend NSTP (Payatas is so dear to me now). I didn’t want to cut class, since we’re only allowed to have 2 cuts in NSTP or else we’ll be dropped, something I don’t want to happen. I was groggy and nauseous the whole day, I can’t even hear properly. My mom called me to ask me what time I would be picked up. I saw the traffic along Katipunan so I just told them to pick me up at the LRT station. Did I mention I have to attend a friend’s debut the same day? The party’s 6pm and when my mom heard my voice, she told me she’ll take a look at me first before deciding if she’ll let me go or not.

I must’ve cut NSTP. If I knew then it would be our last NSTP – area insertion, since we’re having the recollection next week, I should’ve just rested the whole morning and afternoon and be ready for Val’s princess-themed debut. UNFORTUNATELY, unfortunate things happen to the unfortunate. I am part of the program, one of the bequests. My dress and shoes were there already, waiting for my disposal. My mom gave me until 4:30pm, she asked me to rest and take some medicine, and if I’ll look different (this is not a magic makeover), I could come to the party. Then, she told me I really look sick, my eyes were swollen. She doesn’t want the other guests in the party to be sick (because I am a walking virus, oh yeah, I’m contagious) and feel grossed to be near me, or coughing and sneezing at the microphone or worst, at the food, gah. She told me I might really feel unwell and then sleep at the party. I’m sure I missed a lot. There were people I wanted to see there at the party, and I’ll never show myself to Val again, for missing her party. Now I’m avoiding three people in my life.

Why do bad things happen to great people? *cough*


MORAL: Take flu shots, vitamins, food supplements, exercise, and take note of your stress level. I’m so disappointed and mad. #*W$*)&^#$*&^$)$#$##@$_!*?!

Monday, September 03, 2007

Nightmare Before Class

"Serena reminds me of a pit bull dog and a young Mike Tyson, all in one. Venus reminds me of a gazelle that's able to move, prance and jump," their father, Richard Williams, said. "Venus looks as if she is really enjoying herself out there more than Serena is right now. If they get by everyone and meet each other, it will be an interesting match." - ATP

I won't be happy if my dad would tell the press or other people that kind of information. Imagine your dad or a person dear to you announcing to the world that you have the qualities of Popeye and Homer Simpson combined. And oh, Serena Williams is not the nightmare, I just read about it and found it interesting. Maybe I should stop writing about tennis, but this is my blog and no one pays me to write, so I'll keep on writing about things I want to write about, or rant. Haha.

Anyway, I had a dream, or a nightmare - depending on a person's perspective. I was happily eating and when I got to finish it, someone told me that it was beef. Then memories and vivid details of how they (animals) are mercilessly slaughtered so that insensitive people can eat them. (I sense a lot of contradictions on that part, maybe I won't publish this, but I care about the animals. Red meat is also known as murder-food and those who eat them are called murderers. The food chain is one big conspiracy and human beings just disturb the natural process.) Tadah! I felt so bad like how a human must react if s/he is reincarnated to a rock (what the?!). Then I woke up, realized I slept on our couch, and rushed to prepare for school. It was a nightmare for me, I was even sweating afterwards. Then I found out the reason why I was perspiring, they turned off the electric fans because our lovable cutie-cute-cute (haha!) helpers were sweeping the floor.

I think I must add a Word for the Moment thing. I'm making my own nonsense dictionary or something, I even invent words. I can entitle it Please Pray the Glossary but that would be blasphemous. Gah.


MORAL: Save on plastic, save the world. It can also be Save the trees, save the world. Learn to segregate your trash properly. Hmm, suggestions:

1.) Don't buy bottled water, PET (polyethyleneterephthalate) bottles are not suitable to reuse. Bring/use a water flask (Coleman, Tupperware, or those Nalgene bottles, check if they're non-toxic) instead, to save on plastic since they are made from petroleum, and this is a very limited, nonrenewable resource.
2.) When buying something like a candy bar, some gummy bears (yum) or anything, don't ask for plastic anymore, just tell them to mark the item - to save resources and so that you'll not be suspected as a shoplifter.
3.) Also when buying something and you have a bag with some more space to spare, put your purchased things there, instead.
4.) Share your knowledge about saving the environment (and animals, too! They can feel, you know.) with other people.

As I heard from a great person, though many claim to have said this before this specific wisdom-giver, "Help others help themselves. If you think you're making a difference, you are making a Big difference." - Julianne O.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Remember Me(i)

My relatives call me Mei. It's a nickname. It used to be Mei-Mei but I don't tell people that. I bet some of them don't even know my full name. Anyway, when I got into college, I wrote Mei (or Mei-Mei whatever) beside the "Nickname: " part. I could've written otherwise but lo, first day of OrSem (freshmen orientation in our school) I couldn't find my seat. There were nametags placed on chairs and when a facilitator (an upperclassman) asked me my name, I said my full name. She was looking at her list, didn't find my name and told me, "I think you're in the wrong block."

Great.

Then I saw a nametag with the name "Mei" written. I told her, "Oh. No, I found my name. It's Mei, sorry." End of story. That's how Mei got circulated. Atleast not Mei-Mei. I remember telling my blockmates, "Don't call me Mei, you're not my relative," and got "Why not? We're blockmates and we're family," as a reply.

I've been thinking about a lot of things, or not. (I prefer pondering about life rather than do my homework or study for my midterms.) I heard before (I forgot which class) that when you die, people would remember you with what you have left behind. Yeah I know it's cliche or something but if I would die sooner (because we'll all die eventually), how would people remember me? Or would they even remember me? Would I be remembered as someone who asks random questions? I don't want to be remembered as the hypergirl, or uhh, the one who made other's life great (not miserable). I'm not sure. I think before I die I have to write something people would say 'serious'. Hmm, I always tell people I'm serious, but heck, no one believes me. And I don't lie, a far cry from the boy who cried wolf. I'm not pumping irony here.

I also thought of how I would die. From a terminal disease which I would get from being a vegan? Or from lung cancer because of second-hand smoke? From an accident? What kind of accident? Would I have butt cramps like Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star then drown? Would I be the victim of a drive-by shooting (instead of a real gun or a bazooka, in the Philippines it would be a sumpak or an improvised gun)? Would a Ford E150 run over me when I cross the street (I'm not good at crossing, that's why I love the overpass)? Or when I finally get the chance to backpack across Europe and reach Slovakia, I would be trapped inside Hostel (like in the movie) and get my body mutilated. Or when I get the chance to watch live tennis, a ball would hit me in the head then develop brain tumor then die.

How about my funeral? I told my mom if I die, I'll be cremated. In my wake they have two options. One is that my body (not yet reduced to ashes) would be hanged from the ceiling. There would be a live band and buffet-just vegetables. Then spotlights would be directed to my body from the top. A wall would be full of pictures, not necessarily pictures of myself. Or I told my mom my body would stand slanting from the wall. Then the spotlights and the buffet and the band would still be there. The second option is when I'm already cremated. Everyone would be drinking the special fruit punch. Then they'll play a short clip I made wherein one would see me saying, "Everyone, I'm now a part of you. Thanks for enjoying the fruit punch with my ashes." Cool. Or I would make a video of myself - The Ring style wherein you have to pass it after watching it. Even better.

Seriously. How would people remember me?

I think I can answer this question after our Psych paper. (WHAA!! I suddenly remembered we have a Psych paper to finish!)


MORAL: Do homeworks and study for your midterms to avoid thinking of things like these. That reminds me, today is 19. Eli must be doing something to me.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Flooded

That's Quentin Tarantino braving the flood with a bike to go to Malacañan Palace and get his award. If I would get an award and meet the president of a country, I think I would do the same. Just not wearing jogging pants with a Barong Tagalog.

This is madness. And we're not in Sparta.

I can't remember the last time we had classes. Was it uhh, I can't remember well. I'm having issue with my memory. As a matter of fact, I scored 14 out of 14 for our short-term memory test in Psychology class. I remembered the 14 words our teacher said and was able to write them all. He said the average score would be 7 + or - 2. I'm not abnormal (ABove Normal).

What's the point? Well, I changed my laptop's admin user password that day after going home. I used to use European names as my passwords and then this one time, I was engulfed with tennis and things-I-can't-remember that I completely forgot about it. I told my sister, "if you want to use my laptop, the password is... Shoot! I freaking forgot!" I rushed down and sat face-to-face with the screen. I was typing everything I thought I remember, even Ulaanbaatar. I went back to bed at 3am, hopeless. I have PE by 10am and I was in no mood to talk, kick, run, tease people, and even to smile. I was just thinking I would remember it when I catch the ball with my head or when I run a lot and all my blood goes to my head. (My PE is futsal and it is fun.)

I have the memory of a goldfish.

Curse passwords. Although my laptop was fixed already, since my ever-reliable cousin had a CD which can reset passwords, I am still not happy. For the first time in my life, I want to go to school, wholeheartedly. And I am not faking it. Senior year in high school, I only go to school because of allowance and uhh, yeah, allowance. First year college, I really don't want to go to school. Sophomore year, I want to go to school. Yeah, allowance still ranks second under "What I Go To School For:" with not wanting to have make-up classes as the third.

Oh, I am so bitter today. No classes. A not-so-long weekend. This is not good. I bet there is a catch here. Midterms, programming project, long tests (pluralized), critical papers, reports, more papers, and orals. This is the life.

When it rains, it pours.

And until now I wonder, whenever classes are suspended, the sun shines brightly. Otherwise, it rains cats and dogs and leopards and all the animals you can think of, even prairie dogs.


MORAL: I love rain. I'm not kidding. However, I don't like suspension of classes. Have you ever heard of the "you cannot fold a paper more than 7 times equally"? That myth was busted by (tadah!) MythBusters and they folded a paper the size of a football field (poor trees) 11 times. They used a forklift and a big rolling pin to flatten it out. Don't do rain dances anymore. Enough already. Leptospirosis and dengue fever would be a fad in no time (but I pray that this won't happen). Don't eat too much. Especially now, they said rainy season makes people depressed and makes them eat a lot. I am amenable to that.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Mellow Cab

I have never been late for class. Seriously. I always wear a digital watch and synchronized it with the school's exact time, even to the exact second. The latest I have been was last Tuesday (August 7, 2007), for my PE class. My class was at 10AM and I arrived at 10:09AM. We have like a leeway of 10-15 minutes before you'll be marked as late or something (like Dunce or Useless). Anyway, our teacher usually checks attendance while we do the mandatory warm-up jog. Well, they weren't jogging anymore by the time I came. So I just waved right in front of my teacher's face and told him I am present and still not officially late.

But why was I late, almost late I mean? My dad isn't the fastest driver around, and I didn't have the time to wait for him to start the car, comb his hair, and all. So I just went straight out of our house, ignoring our dog who constantly barks at me to scratch him (or her, since we are not sure if our dog is a hermaphrodite), and luckily saw an empty cab. I thought I was so lucky, not having to wait for so long until I have deep-vein thrombosis (the next level of varicose veins) just to get a cab. The instance I came there and said, "Katipunan po," he retorted, "Hija, cleft lip ka?" I do not have a cleft lip palette. I have a hare lip, but nevermind.

Then the life story of his child started. He was talking nonstop, I tried to listen to my iPod to ward off his voice, but I don't want to look rude so I didn't. I think I must've used my iPod, it would've done wonders and saved me from the stories. Anyway, he was always talking, even looking at the rear view mirror. He was talking again. Then I said, "Kuya, green na po oh." Still after speeding away, he was talking again. From the time his son was conceived, until the kid was a toddler, until at present. He talked until the kid turned 5 years old, and I turned 90 years old because of his nonstop story. Did I mention he was talking all the time?

I was like a psychologist there, about to tell him, "How do you feel about that?" Except that I don't want to extend his stories and hear him talk more.

Argh, it was SO annoying. Then add the power windows. At times I ride a cab, it is rare to find power windows. And when I addressed his car's windows, ding ding ding! I hit the jackpot. He changed the topic from his child, to the windows. While we were along Boni Serrano Avenue, he was controlling the power windows at the back. He was rolling them up and down, up and down until the passenger at the back would cover his/her face from shame and irritation. Plus, he let pollution in, with some mosquitos as well. Ahh, complete package. I can't wait to get off the car.

I arrived at the covered courts annoyed and irritated. I think I had a taxi trauma. Nonetheless we won our game and I scored my first goal, so it was fine with me. I learned my lesson, to use a music player or pretend to read to avoid an unwanted conversation.


MORAL: Avoid having a conversation with a taxi driver when the topics are about politics, family, show business, and education. Mind those about politics, especially when you both have opposite views. You don't want to ride a cab with a mad driver. You'll pay for it.

Friday, August 03, 2007

The Devil Loves Balloons

My mom had a dream last night, or morning, or midnight. She wasn't sure if it was a nightmare or what. She was with her sister on a bed. Her sister was praying, and my mom noticed that their bed was shaking, The Exorcist-style. She asked her sister about it and her sister was signalling like she knew what was happening, and just continued praying. Suddenly something was coming up, they both knew IT was the devil. However, balloons were flying and coming near them. She was saying "in Jesus's name!" while trying to stab the balloons. More balloons were coming and they won't even burst. And then... And then...

Then our helper woke my mom up. End of story. She came to our room and told us about it. She also told us of the conversation she had with her cousin (who was her godchild and also my godmother. If you didn't get it, my mom's cousin = my mom's godchild = my godmother. There.). She was brushing her teeth for some time already and noticed that there were only 3 toothbrushes. They were four living at home. She noticed she was always suffering from tonsilitis and sore throat with cough. It was then when she realized her dad was using her toothbrush as well, for almost 2 weeks already. My mom just told her, "Ang sweet niyo namang mag-ama, pati toothbrush share kayo."


MORAL: Keep your toothbrush in a safe place. Also, when staying in the hotel, keep it away from disgruntled housekeepers' sight. You'll never know when s/he had a fight with his/her loved one and s/he decides to vent out his/her anger to you by using your toothbrush to clean the toilet.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Tickle Me Emo

If life is so fair, why do roses have thorns? - Tickle Me Emo / Depressame Street

Eye love this videoclip. Hahaha, I want to have an Emo Elmo. Promise..




MORAL: Do not hurt yourself to feel alive. Also, do not hurt others to feel alive. Just find another outlet. Make emo songs, or make emo arts. You can even have extra cash.

Doppelganger

I rode a bus home one time and saw Meteor Garden being played. Yes, the notorious Chinovela that wrought havoc in our country. They brought the F4's here, wherein hordes of Filipinos paid more than 10k pesos just to watch their concert even though they (fans) can't understand what the heck those boys were singing. Their records were selling like pancakes. Great, and they were know as Flower Four. Even better, and I am sarcastic.

The lead female character was San Chai, and I don't really mind whatever the spelling of her name is. The time when Meteor Garden was such a hit in the Philippines was when I don't have a regular trim. My hair was very black (because there are not-so-black black), straight, and very long. Combing was difficult then, but I had no choice but to comb my hair since we weren't allowed to have our hair dancing with the wind in high school. We had to tie our hair, or else we'd get an infraction slip. I remember last time I went to the supermarket to do some grocery ( I make the bill soar when I go with them ). I was walking around until a kid bumped into me. I wasn't wearing my hair in a ponytail then. She was looking at me then tugged her brother and said, "Uy, si San Chai." Then she ran and looked for her mother to say she found San Chai, like an excited Magellan discovering Philippines (even though there's no proof Magellan was excited when he discovered the Philippines ). I hate that kid, good thing she ran or else I'll hunt her down. I don't even look like freaking Shang Hai. But it would be worse if someone said I look like one of the members of F4, the one who'll say that won't even be able to finish his/her sentence.

I don't like it when someone says, "you look like (insert name of someone you don't know)..." And I have heard that statement a lot of times already. "Are you studying in Batangas? Or do you have a twin sister?I think I saw you a while ago." Of course I wanted to say, "Have you gone mad? Why would I go there?" but instead said, "I want to have a twin, but no, no, and what?" Really. "I thought I saw you!" The ever wise me asked, "How does she look like?" Then was responded with an equally wise answer, "Uhh, try looking in front of the mirror. That's how she looks like, like you." The hell. Curse those minions.

Another of this mistaken identity involves my co-ACLCer (Ateneo Christian Life Community). He was asking me if I was at this GA (General Assembly) and called me AC. I am not AC. And after some time, "Uh, you're not AC??" I gave him a blank stare and showed my name tag which does not read "AC". Curse the minions. I don't even look Chinese. Please note that I have nothing against Chinese.

I haven't planned world domination, yet. I would send my clones in a few years, but not now. Sheesh. At least I haven't been compared to a man. Hoorah. "You look like (insert a man's name here).." That would be harsh. Crap. Lucky people, thought to be me, or reported to look like me.
Oh, oh. I forgot, last time, while we (me, Jean, and Marfi) were planning to change after PE class, something dumb happened. Dunno if it's dumb, I don't really care at all right now. We were at Ateneo's Martial Arts Center and I turned the doorknob, since the door was half-opened, I made a little push. Then the door closed, someone inside slammed the door at me. Perfect! I went out to see how my adversary looks like and was mumbling, "I'll get you when you go out.." Then I asked Marfi to open the door because I think they locked it from the inside, hogging the restroom to themselves. Go eat the restroom, freaks.

Marfi opened the door, with ease. Whhaaat!? I'm not a weakling, ever since I played tennis I know my arm's strength improved already. We searched the area, but no one was there. Jean saw it, how the door was slammed. Marfi was denying it, "Maybe you didn't push it that hard." I know what I did, and I have a Kapampangan witness. Both were scaring themselves while changing. It wasn't a big deal to me,since I can pretend to be brave when there are people around. Haha, but when I'm alone, I would be scared as an earthworm who has the knowledge that he doesn't have skin and that salt would be poured on him,in short, really scared. Remember, Martial Arts Center restroom, near the PE Office and College Athletics Office. Cool..


MORAL: San Chai is fictional and dysfunctional. I am not. Longer hair needs more shampoo and more combing. Futsal is fun, especially if you have cool/hyper teammates. Just don't trip on your own, not fun (ask Marfi, from experience). Also, when receiving the ball and you intend to use your upper body to hit it, use your chest, not your breast. (This is not from a personal experience.) Futsal, futsal, futsal!

Friday, July 13, 2007

The Revival of the Ten Questions or Not

Ten Questions or Not... This is for the homo sapiens out there, I think.
special guest: Francine G, aka Sanrio/Yoda/Hello Kitty/Elaine

Ok, so I ask questions again. I comment on the answers as well. Some answers were so inspiring I wrote them on my whiteboard then clipped pictures at my own "picture sampayan (clothesline)". You didn't get the relation of the whiteboard to the pictures? Neither did I. Anyway, please understand the complex nature of the human brain so bear with the answers.

1.) True or False. How do you feel whenever you see your favorite teacher in English? Why not? How about the Diwata? Do you know her? Does she know you? Why not? How?
--i hate thomas!iniiwasan ko siya...i just heard the diwata, never seen her, mlamang di niya ako kilala, dahil she is with the french guy, kaya napapansin natin siya, how did i know her?through chismis!haha
*You haven't seen the Diwata?! OMG, you must see her! And make a wish when you do. It's like you missed half of your life. Haha. Chismis is not good for your health. You think Thomas is stalking you?

2.) If you were a famous personality, how would your friends describe you? Really? Are you telling the truth?
--above them?hard to reach?(kahit na hindi totoo even though maging celeb man ako..) really!yes telling d truth!
*Hard to reach, yeah right. Eh kung sipain ka namin at hampasin ng steel chair? But of course, I am an animal rights enthusiast, so, I won't do that.

3.) Complete the sentence. "My mother and I..." and "When I think of boys..."
--my mother and I have much time together..., when i think of boys, they are like me, also a human...(yan un cnagot ko dun sa guidance ah...)
*Boys are like you? Wow, you're now a boy! I'm so proud of you. I wonder what would the guidance counsellor say when s/he reads our answers... Hmm... "My mother and I... are girls."

4.) How would you describe fuchia pink and tangerine to a deaf, old, blind man?
-- fuchia-bright! tangerine-sour!
*You'll describe them like that?? Oh well, since there are no right or wrong answers, I'll pass criticizing this one, hahaha.

5.) Paris Hilton is your hero, your idol. When is your birthday? How did you come up with your answer?
--birthday-7/11/89, my parents told me (wlang kinalaman un k paris hilton)
*But she's still your idol.

6.) Do you sing while taking a bath? Do you take a bath when singing? Do you eat vegetables that are nutritious and good for your health?
--1.no 2.no 3.no
*GRABE!!! How profound your answers are! Yoda, you're the best.

7.) Leonidas, the king of Sparta, was around 60 years old when the Battle of Thermopylae happened. Would you love to have 8-pack abs? How about 4-packs in your biceps? Why or why not?
--1. no! dhl high maintenance ang abs!mya maging fats pa yan kng di mo na exercise. 2. no! panget for a gurl
*Fats.. Naks, conscious! Pangit for a girl? I think it won't look appealing for men, too, having 4-packs in your biceps. How did you know that abs are high-maintenance? Have you tried maintaining abs? Wow, macho Hello Kitty.

8.) If you're alone in a deserted island, which brand of shampoo would you bring? In relation to your answer, why not bring something more important other than a shampoo? Does that prove that you are vain?
--creamsilk?un gamit ko e...duh?tinatanong mo kng anung shampoo, not what you want to bring?! di ako vain, papayag akong mgpakalbo na lng kpg nasa deserted island, rather than langawin ang ulo ko dhl sa wlang ligo haha
*Eh bakit mo ako inaaway!? Ganun ang tanong eh! Bear and deal with it! =)

9.) What is the last book you have read? FHM, Maxim, and Uno are not considered as books. How do you feel about that? What did you eat before answering this? What is it's connection to the first question in this number?
--1. cgru ung Empire of memory, boring! required lang kc sa lit...2. fruits-un ung dessert ko sa diner e, wlang fruits sa empire of memory
*Fruits are fun. Boring?! Reading is fun as well. So, if fruits = fun, and reading = fun, therefore, fruits = reading.

10.) Imagine you are a famous basketball player, 8 feet tall, and bald. Why? What is your idea of a perfect man? And so?
--yuck!kahit na basketball fanatic ako, never ko ngustuhan ang super tall na guy na bald pa!haha semi-cal pwd pa...idea of a perfect man?actually wala, any thing goes ako e, basta ba com4table ako skanya..so?tinatanong mo e
*You're not an ideal specimen for questioning. Haha, you react negatively to the questions. Yihee, your idea of a perfect man is anything, as long as you're comfortable with him.. Just like when you're comfortable sitting on a couch? These questions are the future questions for the Ms. Universe pageant. No joke.


MORAL: Prepare for glory! These questions are not tested on animals. They were made uniquely for each person. Well, not really, I just ask what I want to ask. I tell them that for every reply I get, some pesos are donated to charitable institutions. Don't tell a lie. No, no, no, no, baby, no, no, no, no, don't lie (in tune of BEP's song)... Remember this! Animals are friends, not food.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Royalties

Roger Federer and Venus Williams... No, they are not dating. Duh.
Wimbledon is a dream, and a grassy one.

He won it 5 times in a row, she won it 4 times already. He's the number one player, and she's the lowest seeded player to win the title. He's emulated a record, and she has beaten her own record of being the lowest seeded player to win (14th before, 23rd now). Her sister won the first slam of the year ranked 81st, and she won the third slam ranked 31st. Cool. Well anyway, there are a lot of write-ups about their victories, so I won't add anymore to that. I watched all of their matches, even those until 2:30-3am. Haha. Fed Cup is next, but there are no broadcasts for that. Speaking of Fed Cup, reporters are gunning Sharapova again, since she backed-out playing for team Russia. Russia would meet USA on July 14-15. She chose to attend an awards night over playing for her country. Wow.
"I'm telling you, just forget about all these promises," Russia's chief tennis coach Vladimir Kamelzon was quoted saying.
"Once again she (Maria) said she'd play, only to turn her back on the team at the last minute," said the source.

Winner!

Meanwhile, Maria Sharapova’s shrieks hit 103.7 decibels in her loss to Venus Villiams at Wimbledon. The human threshold for pain is 115 decibels. Then she becomes a threat to public safety. If you get hearing loss while watching a match, can you file suit? With both banshees screaming I expect birds fell out of the sky and cats and dogs tried to bury themselves. Why hasn’t that girl been gagged? In 1992 Monica Seles was reprimanded for grunting and ordered not to do it again. She went on to lose the final to Steffi Graf, whom she’d been beating regularly.
*from Jessica Zafra

They said grunting is cheating. She has a new name, Maria Shriekapova.. Winner again! Haha. They really love criticizing her. Read the article, it's soo funny. Well, for me. Haha.

MORAL: Don't promise anything, especially if you really don't mean it. Don't try grunting while playing chess, they might stuff the chess pieces in your mouth, worse, even the chessboard. Not good.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Love - All

If I would have a brand, it would be Love-All, or 0-0 in tennis scoring. I just want it that way, don't mind me. I don't want Ace, it's the name of a tennis show and a magazine, so it would just be redundant if I dream of using it.

This is Marat Safin, a professional tennis player and one of my favorite people. He is famous for his looks (according to me, haha) and of course, the explosive antics. I love watching him, his sister Dinara Safina, and Nicole Vaidisova. Well, aside from their skills, it's because of the way these 3 players (also included in my never-ending list of favorite people) react when they lose an important point, or when things don't go their way. It is like watching an action movie or something, because eventually, you'll see a flying tennis racquet which would fall back on earth, a smashed racquet (which would be crushed and given to the fans or just thrown away), shouting in different languages (this is one of the reasons I want to learn multiple European languages, so I would know what the heck they are shouting), ball kids being reprimanded for no apparent reasons, umpires and linesmen being yelled and insulted by the players, and pitiful tennis balls being hit with the power of hell (the balls then become flat or destroyed).

If you want neurotic, there are tennis players. If you want psychotic, there are tennis players. If you want superstitious, there are tennis players. If you want well, I think tennis players have it, whatever it is that you're thinking.

However, I noticed recently (yes, I have been following the coverage of the tour for some time), Marat has been calm, replacing the shouting at the top of his lungs with just frowns and super deep sighing. I miss the Marat Safin who's very vocal and graphic. He has not smashed a racquet (as far as I have watched) and has not yelled at umpires or linesmen for some time. Weird. But he did complain that the prices of the food in the Wimbledon are too high and they don't even taste good. Cool. If he matched that complaint with nerve-wracking actions, it would be great.

Watch Wimbledon (it's the current Grand Slam, and I'm watching Venus Williams and Akiko Morigami battle for a 4th-Round meeting with Maria Sharapova, who wears a dinosaur dress), even though the tournament is being tormented with rain. I like the previous dresses, but this one for Wimbledon, it just doesn't appeal to my eyes. Still, I won't forget Serena's Australian Open dress, where she looked like a giant tennis ball. I have nothing against Serena and Maria. Promise. It's just when it comes to tennis clothes, I won't forget that lime green something dress. Promise. Haha, I even adore both of them, skills only, not their grunting prowess.


MORAL: Tennis is fun, especially when someone does something unusual. Like in the Australian Open, the ballkid threw the ball early and hit Nicole Vaidisova, tadah. Instant anger. I was waiting for her to hit the kid, but unfortunately she didn't. In short, don't hit anyone on purpose. Make it look like it was only an accident. And, fight with the umpire, just not to the extent that you'll be thrown out of the tournament, there's Hawk-Eye* you know.

*Hawk-Eye is the latest technology which gives the players an accurate reading/replay whether the ball is really in or out or whatever.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Double Think Twice

It must've been think twice, but I love what Jeko (my blockmate) said, "double think." Anyway, after 3 days of no internet, 45minutes of staying in the line for the customer tech support of our internet provider, low-volumed school payphones, watching live Wimbledon matches (via tv, but I swear, I'll get to watch all the Grand Slams live, vis-a-vis sooner or later) even though they are usually delayed because of the rain, and stressfully thinking of whether I'll attend the tennis tryouts or not, uhh, nothing. I just wanted to type all those things. Haha.

I watched this commercial off from Chuvaness' LJ. Even though the church is a very powerful influence, and holds the ground against contraceptives, I am pro-contraceptives. I just think people change, and well, there are STDs, so let's preserve life using those things. And please don't eat animals, just eat tofu and drink soy milk or have taho.




MORAL: Ok, the kid is cute but duh, I don't know what I would do if I met someone like that. Maybe I'll be thrown in prison (Paris is now free and I think she'll make another book because she had a jail diary) and child abuse would probably be my case. I'll also make a jail diary as long as the people there in the women's correctional or something won't make me clean the toilet, massage the boss, or beat me like hell. ( This is one situation wherein my tennis, bowling, swimming, running, fitness and taekwondo knowledge won't help me at all.) I don't want to be doing sit-ups while serving my time. Macho-mama. Sheesh. I would be eating rice porridge or uhh I-don't-know-what. As long as there is no meat I'm fine with that. But I'm maarte when it comes to water. Waaah, imagining it, I'll not inflict physical pain on the child anymore, I'll just do what matured people do - buy the sweeties so that the child would shut the crap up, then when we get home, I'll tie him on a chair, give him a day-long sermon on proper conduct and eat the sweeties in front of him, making him envious like hell. Oh yeah. I love kids.