Monday, April 30, 2007

Greatest Bad Day

Daniel Powter sang Bad Day while Barbie Almalbis and Kitchie Nadal sang Greatest Day. I don't want to listen to neither song. Definitely not the Greatest Day and not just a Bad Day. I'll write a song entitled Worst Day, and it'll be a dance song perfect for Beyonce or Shakira (what?!). Perfect way to start the week!

I woke up past the alarm today, and was welcomed by a long line at the tricycle terminal (beside Mini-Stop). It was my first time to experience that, since I don't usually commute when I have morning classes. WoW, perfect. Anyway, I was picked as the example in our Socio-Anthro class. Not good. I was made to stand in front and I-don't-want-to-remember-what-happened-there. OK, fine, I think my eyes were rolling during Fil class, maybe because I wasn't feeling well, and/or because of the heat and Monday sickness. I have this Monday sickness that I made up, wherein I deny that the school week has started already. So I tell myself it is still Sunday, and yes, it doesn't work - just gives you depression or whatever. (especially if you didn't do your homework because you keep on instilling it is STILL a Sunday, but everyone knows - even you - it isn't.)

Then, it was so warm at home, and I was so lazy to leave the house to have tennis practice. I still like tennis, but the temperature is not letting me enjoy it. (Nobody plays tennis with an umbrella.) Out of dedication, I came there and was hitting like a madman or madgirl, whichever sounds worse. My shots were flying around the court, hitting the lights, the scoreboard, the trainer, the ball guy, and the high ceiling. Hoorah! I'm the best player there is! Even though I was feeling sooo waaarrrmm, it was so strange that I was having goosebumps. What the heck?! I can smell the chlorine from the nearby swimming pool and it's driving me nuts. With my game (and mood) ruined, I wanted to go home right away, promising to take vengeance next meeting. I was so tired, dehydrated, and frustrated I almost performed a Marat Safin/Nicole Vaidisova stunt* right there. Warm weather = high blood pressure = bad mood = not good.

As a bonus, I went home limping, and saw I have two huge blisters on my toes (I was so smart to wear thin ankle socks). Congratulations. I can't attend taekwondo tomorrow (I really wanted to so that I'll vent my anger at the kickpad or to my partner) because of it and I don't know if SpiderMan-iac would allow me to watch him with a seat. Definitely I don't want to stand and watch him shooting web with my blisters kissing the floor (of course I have shoes).

MORAL: Apply sunblock and use umbrella or sunglasses. As much as possible, avoid midday sun exposure. Drink a lot of water. Don't wear thin socks when playing. Remember: Warm weather = high blood pressure = bad mood = not good.

*A Nicole Vaidisova / Marat Safin stunt involves hitting a ball, throwing the racquet in the air, smashing the racquet on the floor, shouting at someone/self, and other emotional acts because of either desperation or anger or whatever.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Walang Makain Kahit May Pagkain

Hindi ito tula, wala lang. Huwala lang talagah. Ako ay nagkaroon ng inspirasyon dahil sa gutom*.

Umalis si yaya Susan
Si yaya Susan na nagluluto ng ulam
Umalis na si yaya Susan
Dahil dadalo siya sa kasalan

Ikakasal ang pamangkin nila
Pamangking nag-aalaga kay Lola
Magaganap ang kasal sa probinsya
Sa Iloilo kung saan ako’y nakapunta na

Nanatili dito ang kapatid ni yaya Susan
Annabelle ang pangalan
Umuwi na siya noong nakaraan
Kaya’t siya ay nagpaiwan

Shanghai, tiramisu at adobo
Ginawa ni yaya nang walang Aji-no-moto
Sabi ko kasi noon, ang MSG ay nakabobobo
Ang sagot niya sa aki’y, “MSG, ano kamo?”

Bago siya umalis iyan ang kanyang iniwan sa amin
Shanghai, tiramisu, at adobo para may makain
Dahil masarap, naubos kaagad kaya kami’y nabitin
“Yaya, puro noodles ang iniluluto ni daddy” gusto kong sabihin

Naiinis ang tatay ko kasi ayaw namin ng misua
Eh paborito niya iyon lutin pati ang lomi, pero nakasasawa
Dumating ang ate ko at nakita ang misuang nakasusuya
Kahit magaling magluto si daddy, ayaw ko pa rin ng misua

Si yaya nakakausap namin sa cellphone, sa telepono
Kumustahan at siyempre, pa’no lutuin ang menudo
Anong pasalubong daw ang aking gusto?
Sisi, piyaya, broas, at butterscotch sabi ko

Matatapos ito nang ganito, may tuldok sa huli.

*Mayroon naman talagang pagkain, luto ng aking ama, puro pagkaing Intsik. Ako ay hindi kumakain ng karne ng manok, baboy, baka, at ng kung ano pa man. Ang mga isda lamang ang kinakain kong may buhay, siyempre, patay at luto na sila kapag kakainin ko, kasi hindi ako naaawa sa kanila, pasensiya na, Fishie. Lahat na ay walang buhay, kahit na problemado ang susunod kong sasabihin dahil mayroong buhay ang mga halaman, mga gulay at prutas. Magsasaliksik ako ng pagpapatunay na walang pakiramdam ang mga halaman. Ito sa pakiramdam ko ay miyembro ako ng PeTA. Si Yaya Susan ang nagtitiyagang magtanggal ng mga tinik ng isda para mayroon kaming boneless na isda. At dahil siya rin ang namamalengke, siyempre nakasalalay sa kanya ang ulam namin.

**HINDI - inuulit ko - HINDI ako nagpapapayat gaya ng sinasabi ng tatay kong makulit. Fafa, underweight ako. Kapag nagpapayat pa ako eh baka mamatay na ako, o di kaya’y maospital. Ayaw kong kumain ng karne ng mga manok, baboy, atbp. dahil nga sa PeTA. Ilang beses ko bang uulitin iyon. Isa pa, hindi ako nagdidiyeta o kaya’y nagpapapayat. Kung nagpapapayat ako, hindi ako kakain ng ice cream, ng maraming kanin, ng kung anu-anong biskwit, mga carbo-loaded na chuvaness, mga calorie-packed na pagkain, at fish fillet na may Thousand Island o di kaya’y Ranch dressing na hindi fat-free. Dalhin niyo ako sa eat-all-you-can-dahil-masiba-ka na restawran, mananalo ako kung may patimpalak na paramihan ng pagkain na makakain. Ano ba.

ARAL: Huwag mag-inarte kung wala namang dahilan. Masama iyon sa kalusugan.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Banana Rice

I like bananas. I don't know if they like me, but really, I don't give a dam with an N. Quoting Pedro (a character from our Fil mini-radio drama), "What can I say to you? I can say to you." Anyway, it was a warm summer day, and they all came out to play. Wth?! (I'm feeling noxious.)

I'll start again. I like eating bananas because they are easy to eat and dispose. Huh? Example, if I want to eat turnips, I have to wash them and peel the peelings (huh? peel the fruit skin). If I want to lessen the fruit population by consuming them, like bananas, just peel and eat (I don't know, I rinse it before I eat it = banana with skin).

I was about to get a banana when I accidentally hit the rice cooker. Chedeng! My arm touched the cover of the rice cooker, the part where careless people are prioritized: "Caution: Hot Surface". Great.

I noticed Pinoy Big Brother showing some clips from Big Brother Slovenia. Since the "housemates" there are not so fluent in English, channel 2 (ABS-CBN) dubbed what the Slovenians are saying. There are some subtitles, but the dubbing is so funny. Haha.

My arm hurts and I heard burns leave a nasty mark. Waah. They take time to heal, but since mine is near the elbow, I hit that part often. Hmm, I want to go to Europe. Not Slovenia, though, but who knows. Haha. Noro / nora means crazy. If my name is Nora, definitely Slovenia is a no-no. I don't want to be known as the crazy person (at least for the name).

I'm not in the mood, I don't like this day, and this day doesn't like me as well.

MORAL: Wear elbow pads. Don't laugh at all those "Caution" and "Warning" signs, they were made for us. (Even when you buy coffee or hot chocolate milk from like uhh, McDonald's, of course, you know it IS hot. However, there are still "Caution: ". I found them to be stupid before since one knows they are really hot. Now, I can't take my stand.) I officially hate rice cookers now. Bread, watch out, I can eat a lot of your kind. Don't name someone as Noro or Nora if you're planning to go to Slovenia.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Jhunie Can Dance

My highschool friend, Jhunie, can REALLY dance. He dances gracefully, is a varsity member in badminton (in his college) and has a very high-level of energy. Haha, at Nobleza's debut he danced when veryone almost left. Funny, energetic dance. (the one you can hear at the background is Karina, aka Butch (as in tambutso) and Neggy (don't ask). Kara has a lot of monikers, we love picking on her. Haha. Nice one!

MORAL: Dancing is fun and healthy. As long as you don't do it in the middle of a busy road. Don't let anyone video you when you are dancing unless you really want to see yourself again in the internet or you are really such a matured person and enjoy the whole thing. Also, when in a party, dance as if uhh, you can dance. Don't be a KJ (kill joy), and to be the center of attention, dance interpretetatively. Cool.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Dear Diarya The Next Episode

Dear Diarya is back!! And this time, "unexpected explosive events" are more disgusting and a little crafty. Crafty not in the sense that you can make your own collage with the material excreted. But if you want to try that for art class, go ahead, make my day!

Here we introduce Patola* who always experience stomach ache and some uneasiness whenever we have our PeHM (PE, Health, and Music) exams. The tests spook her, I think. So, it never fails - the recurring stomach rumblings and the discomfort complemented by cold sweat. Then, one time, she felt it again. She brought a friend with her to the restroom (maybe she needs someone to wipe her a**). Anyway, Patola is the most studious person I've ever met. Who cares. Haha, kidding, but she is really studious and she will use her knowledge in the upcoming events. Well, she did the deed at the restroom, and after cleaning herself, tried to flush it away. "TRIED to flush it away" is just so nice to read, because she failed at that. The brown substances were smiling at her, probably waving, "Hi Patola, I like it here in this toilet bowl, mmmm, so watery, let's swim!"

Then, she tried to be wise and get a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after, lalalalalalala, lalalalalalala... Anyway, the pail of water was ineffective, the pail at the restroom was so huge and filled with water, the two of them weren't able to pull it. (By the way, the distance from the cubicle to the pail is a little bit far) And they didn't want to be seen dragging the pail of water, people might see them and go, "Wow, Patola and Shrek* are pulling the pail bigtime! Woohoo!" or whatever. So, out of desperation, Patola grabbed the wood from the janitress' cubicle where the janitress keeps all the cleaning stuff she has - think of it as her personal locker. With the wood in hand and a piece of chalk in the other, Patola wrote very meaningful words, OUT OF ORDER and used it to cover the toilet bowl full of crap. Then with a smile, they both just checked themselves in the mirror and freshened themselves up, which I think is very appropriate because they would be stinking right now (conscience, haha).

Welcome the janitress, who came in and saw the sign. She utterred, "I remember this is not out of order. Hmm." With suspicion, she came near the victimized toilet (Patola and Shrek were still there, still washing their hands of their dirty deed), and lifted the wood. "I thought so, some student didn't flush the toilet! Tsk." Of course, the two felt guilty, but the janitress didn't suspect them. Lucky poopers. Hahaha. They took the test after the incident, with relief from the stomach ache and guilt from the victimized toilet bowl.

MORAL: Use your head! Patola used all her knowledge to escape possible humiliation. Haha, idolize her but please, leave the janitress alone. Have a peace of mind, so that you can act under extreme pressure. Patola did it, so can you, and you can think of other ways to cover your dirty deed. But hey, it would still smell whatever you do. Having someone is also useful but they might squeal out the events afterwards. (Shrek was the one who told us this story and Patola had no choice but to confirm the incident. We all laughed and looked at her differently after this, haha.)

*Names were changed to protect the pooper and her partner

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I Feel Pretty

I've seen this Nike commercial a long time ago (well, not in the Philippines I think) and I just thought it would be interesting to post it here since I've posted an Ana Ivanovic/Daniela Hantuchova commercial as well. I like the song, originally sung by Julie Andrews in the West Side Story, then by Adam Sandler in Anger Management. "I feel pretty, lalala..." =)

Maria Sharapova's dad, Yuri Sharapov, was said to accuse the Williams (particularly Serena) to have placed a voodoo (or a curse) on his daughter (that's why she hasn't been winning lately, and losing to Serena in straight sets having just won a few games). Sharapova just won 5 games in their two meetings, that's 6-1 6-2 at the Australian Open, and 6-1 6-1 at the Sony Ericsson Open. Her two other defeats were from Ana Ivanovic (Toray Pan Pacific Open) and Vera Zvonareva (Pacific Life Open, where she was the defending champion). Really, Serena exposed Maria's weakness/es to the world (I've watched it) and always gives a lop-sided match against her (Sharapova's grunts are not working this time, and Serena grunts too. It's always noisy when they are playing, just like New Year, haha). This was reported by a French paper and they even quoted him of saying it. Haha, voodoo. I'm not sure if Yuri Sharapov really said it, but they published it anyway. If I let my judgmental side out, it would be possible that he said it, since Serena Williams has been whipping Maria Sharapova like crazy, and those who watch women's tennis know Yuri Sharapov's (not so nice) attitude. Either way I found it funny. Blah.

MORAL: Take a bath everyday and observe proper hygiene especially in this warm, summer season. Expect even warmer days on May. Global Warming, I curse you! You're making my life miserable, and other people dehydrated. If I know you're killing a number of pigs already, and some might say it is natural, Global Warming is anthropogenic. Sheesh! High blood pressure is on the rise together, with people becoming irritated easily, which is not good for anyone.

*Pigs don't perspire so if they are exposed to heat for a longer period of time, they die from heatstroke or something like it. (Don't try this at home)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


Bukod sa pagkapulot ko ng pera sa daanan, naalala ko rin yung panahon na nagsasanay kami para sa aming graduation. Paulit-ulit naming ginagawa yung mga kahindik-hindik na paglalakad, pagbibigkas ng speech, pagpalakpak nang sabay-sabay dahil kunwari ay nagsalita na ang panauhing pandangal. Makalipas ang mga 3 o 4 na araw ng nakasasawang gawain, ay sawa na rin ang mga guro namin sa pagsusuway sa mga maiingay na mag-aaral. Nakaupo kami sa mga upuan ng mga nursery students kasi nagpraktis din sila kanina. Tumapat ako sa may electric fan, mainit sa auditorium namin, at summer na rin kasi. Ito lang ah, ako ay may ibang sarili kapag nasa silid-aralan dati, magaling akong magpanggap na tahimik at nakikinig sa guro. Ako rin ang naaatasan ng teacher na magsulat ng noisy, o ha, inggit ka noh. Kadalasan ay ang aking kinakausap o binibigyan ng mga ginintuang aral ang napagdidiskitehan ng guro at sasabihan ng, “(ilagay ang pangalan ng aking katabi rito)! Masyado kang maingay! Isa pa at palalabasin na kita!” pero siyemre sa Ingles yun. Minsan ay naiinis na sa akin ang mga kaibigan ko, “Pano ka bang hindi nahuhuli?! Lagi nalang kami ang nakikita ng teacher!” sabay kunot ng noo. Ngingiti lang ako at bibigyan ko na lang sila ng kendi para bati na kami ulit. Epektib. Love na nila ako ulit kahit na ung Conduct grade nila ang nagdurusa.

Balik tayo sa tapat ng electric fan sa auditorium. Pinapagalitan ng aming assistant principal ang isang grupo ng mga estudyanteng hindi kumakanta nang maayos. (Nagsasanay kasi kami ng pagkanta habang nakaupo at nakatapat sa electric fan.) Nagulat ako sa aking katabi (kasi sa harap ako nakaupo at walang kausap bukod sa papel ng speech ko at isang electric fan), at chinika ko siya. (Parang magulo, ok, ganito, sa harap ako nakaupo at ngayon ay isinama ako sa mga kabatch ko kasi hindi pormal ang praktis noong araw na iyon, kumbaga graduation song lang naman kaya ganun.) Nakatutuwa, kilala niya ako. Sikat pala ako. Noong panahon na yun, naglalaban na ang aking sarili, ang sarili kong mahilig makipagkaibigan, at sarili kong hindi pa nahuhuli ng guro dahil sa pakikipagkwentuhan. Naisip ko tapos na ang mga marka namin, kahit siguro magtumbling ako at magbreakdance sa harap ay hindi na nila mabababa ang conduct grade kong hindi makatao sa taas. Kaso, ayoko ng pinapagalitan, lalo na’t malapit na ang graduation at baka masira ang record ko na “hindi pa napapagalitan kasi tahimik, EVER.” Sige, hindi nalang siguro ako masyadong mag-iingay, tahimik naman talaga ako eh. Oo, tahimik ako. Tama, tahimik nga ako. Tumpak, tahimik nga talaga ako.

Alam niyo naman na bionic ang mga teachers, lalo na ang mga principal. Kahit kalahating kilometro ay nakakakita sila nang malinaw, at nakaririnig nang husto. Akala ko nga dati na superhuman sila. Siguro nga totoo yun. Dahil habang nakikipag-usap ako sa aking katabi, pinaglalaruan ko yung maliit na upuan namin, rocking the chair ika nga ay nagulat nalang ako nang biglang tumahimik ang auditorium mula sa sintunadong pagkanta ng aking mga kabatch. Nakita ko nalang na nakatingin sakin yung aming assistant principal na may mukhang hindi ko malaman kung masaya, naiinis, masakit ang tiyan, o kung ano man. Nanlilisik ang mga mata niya, nireregla ba siya? Hindi ko alam. Basta ang alam ko ay tinuro na niya ako at napakagat ako ng labi. Hindi ko alam kung ituturo ko ang aking bagong kaibigan at sasabihin na siya yung may kasalanan sa pag-disrupt sa napakagandang pag-awit ng aming batch. Kaso masama yun at hinding hindi ko gagawin yun, hindi nga sumagi sa isip ko na ituro ang iba eh. Siniko lang ako ng katabi ko kaya naisip ko yun.

Nagmouth ako ng “What?” habang nagpupunas ng pawis kahit wala naman talaga at naisip kong nagkamali lang ang assistant principal namin sa pagsuspetsang ako ang nanggugulo sa praktis. Hello. Ako pa, ay em a diligent student, ako nga yata ang role model eh (walang kokontra). Tinuturo parin niya ako habang ung isang kamay niya ay nasa baywang niya at lukut na lukot na ang mukha niya sa pagkakakunot, siyempre inisip ko yung katabi ko lang yung dinuduro niya. Kaso nung sinabi na niyang, “Ruth! Of all the people… Kaw pa!” ay alam kong ako na yun. Pinangalanan na niya ako. Of all the people, ako pa raw. Doon ko lang yata narinig nag-Tagalog yung assistant principal namin. Dapat tahimik na ang lahat noon, kaso yung mga kaibigan ko, sumigaw ng “yes!” at masayang masaya. Sa wakas, nahuli na rin daw ako. Mga bruho at bruha, sumigaw ba naman, eh di sila yung pinagalitan. Pero masaya pa rin sila, revenge raw. Hindi ko inaamin ‘yung pangyayaring iyon, sabi ko panaginip lang nila ‘yun, hindi totoo. Pero dahil pinangalanan na ako, kumain nalang ako ng kendi, para bati na kami ng sarili ko. Kainis. Of all the people raw ako pa, kitams, sikat ako. Wala eh, mahirap maging mabait at role model. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang araw na iyon, kasi kinabukasan graduation na namin.

ARAL: Mahirap maging role model. ‘Yun lang. Nagdadala pa rin ako ng kendi palagi. Parang habit ko na siya para pag may problema ako sa ibang tao, bibigyan ko na lang siya ng kendi para bati na kami ulit. Puwede ring babol gam para maiba, kaso wala nang lasa iyon kapag tumagal at parang ngumunguya ka lang ng goma. (hindi ko pa naman naranasan ngumuya ng goma, pero sa tingin ko ganun na rin iyon.)

Ube sa Kalye

Ako ay na-inspire sa sinabi ng aking guro sa Filipino kahapon, kaya medyo Filipino ang gagamitin ko. Oo, kasalukuyan ay dumadalo ako sa tag-araw na klase hindi dahil may bagsak ako, kundi dahil ito ay kailangan. Ewan ko ba, sana ay isiniksik nalang yung dalawang asignatura sa mga sems para sana ay matiwasay ang buhay ko ngayon. Lahat ng aking mga kaibigan ay walang mga pasok, dahil pinagdusahan na nila ang mga ito habang ako’y naglalakad na pauwi mula sa pamantasan. Maaga ako umuuwi dati, akala ko ay ok yun. Hindi pala. Isang malaking HINDI. Nagkamali ako, mas maganda pala kung mas maaga ko nang natapos ang Fil12 at SA21. Una, mas magastos, kasi magbabayad pa ako para sa mga klaseng tag-araw. Pangalawa, wala na akong tinatawag na “summer life” dahil arawan ang pagpasok ko. Pangatlo, inis na inis ako, kasi dapat ay nasa ibang lugar na ako at nagsisisipa o di kaya’y hinahataw ang bola ng tennis o di kaya’y tumatakbo lang na akalay mo’y kasali ako sa track and field. Naiinis parin ako, kaya sisimulan ko nalang ulit ang “entry” na ito.

May sinabi ang aking guro kahapon na mayroon daw na iba’t ibang “tayo”. Hindi ito tumutukoy sa relasyon ng mga nag-iibigan. Whatever. Ibang sarili natin ang pinapakita natin o ginagampanan natin kapag kasama natin ang ating mga pinagnanasahan nang palihim (crush yata tawag dito, hindi ko lang alam pano ipahayag sa Filipino, whatever). Iba rin ang ipinapakita natin kapag tayo ay nasa silid-aralan at sa iba pang lugar at setting. Nasabi rin niya na nagkakaroon na ng problema kapag naglalaban-laban ang mga sarili nating ito. Ang halimbawa niya ay kung ika’y musikero at sa una niyong gig ay araw din ng finals niyo sa Math. Anong sarili mo ang mananaig? (wow, parang forces of good versus evil, Sino/Ano ang mananaig?) O diba, problema nga iyan!

Nung nasabi niya iyon, iniisip ko tuloy kung kailan naglalaban-laban ang aking sarili. Hmm, puwede rin nung gusto kong kunin yung nalaglag na pera sa daan. “Wow may libreng isang daan!” Kukunin ko ba ito nang hindi hinahanap ang may-ari o- “Ohmagash, may nakalaglag ng pera nila! Dapat mahanap ko ang may ari nito, baka nasa barko na siya ngayon! O hindi!” Naglalaban nga ang aking sarili. Pero dahil ako ay tapat, inalam ko muna kung sino ang may ari. Tiningnan ko ang pera, naisip ko na kung kanino man yun ay dapat ilalagay niya yung pangalan niya. Manuel A. Roxas. Eh wala akong kilalang Manuel Roxas sa paligid, at makalipas ang 5 segundo, sumuko na ako sa paghahanap. Inisip ko nalang na tadhana ko ang makapulot ng salapi. Tuwang-tuwa akong umuwi sa bahay at pinagyayabang ko na nakapulot ako ng pera. Masama pala maging hambog. Dahil nalaman ng mga tao sa bahay, at malamang pati kapitbahay namin, pinilit nila akong manlibre ng ice cream. Hindi raw popsicle o ice drop, ayaw nila nun. Naglalaban na naman ang aking sarili. Itatakas ko ba ang isang daan ko sa paraang pagkukulong sa kwarto hanggang makalimutan nila, o susuko ako at sundin ang hiling ng mga mababait kong kasama sa bahay? Sa totoo lang, wala akong choice, kasi pag nagkulong ako, magugutom ako, bababa at maghahanap ng pagkain. Ang mangyayari run eh sisimangutan nila ako na akala mo’y kontrabida ako, at baka may bumulong pa nang malakas (sinasadya naman) na “bumili ka ng pagkain mo.” Mabait nga sila, naisip ko. Nagpabili na lang ako ng ice cream, cookies and cream pa yata, nagdagdag pa ako para mas madami ang mabili. Para masaya ang lahat, maliban sa nakahulog ng pera.

ARAL: Huwag ipagkakalat na may pera ka. Magpapalibre ang mga tao sa iyo nang lubusan at baka tawagin kang madamot kapag hindi ka pumayag. Lalo na pag nakapulot ka lang ng pera, kokonsensiyahin ka nila hanggang hindi mo na masikmura ang mga pinagsasabi nila. Pati kasalanan ng mga nakakulong at mga mastermind sa mga pagsabog sa mga mall ay isisisi sayo. Malungkot diba? Ayoko talagang pumasok. Idagdag mo pa na mainit ang panahon. Utang na loob.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Private Jeepney

Something caught my attention. I shot this while we were on our way to ParaƱaque along Sucat. Wow, talk about private jeepneys and "excess baggage". I don't know if they know this man, or maybe he's just hitching and Filipinos are very hospitable. *clap clap* Overloading is not good. Hoorah, I really love jeepneys and they come in different shapes and designs!! So hurry, grab one before it's too late. See posters and print ads for more details.

MORAL: Wear helmets and paddings or whatever protective gear you can think of. Yes, even sunblocks. We don't want heatstroke nowadays so drink a lot of clean water. It doesn't mean that if it is clear, it is clean. The letter R is different from the letter N.

Dear Diarya

Last time, when we had our swimming party (with my highschool friends), most of us didn't sleep. Well, we thought that time would be better spent by sharing stories rather than dozing off. But a couple (e.g. Michael* and Erickson*) couldn't stay up until 4am and slept soundly even though we were hysterical inside the room with all the stories and the commotion c/o Sara Lei* (pretend you know her) who can kill someone when she feels really afraid. (She grabbed Mary's esophagus, ok throat, when she was spooked and her fingernails buried into another's back.) By the way, Mary* thought she was going to die that time. Cheers, she didn't. But that would be another story if anything else happened to her.

When you're talking and sharing stories, anything goes, just as long as you can say anything, well, we don't tell tall tales just for the sake of having to share something. Then the topic of LBM (loose bowel movement), unwanted defecation (I can't think of any appropriate words, sorry), and plain excretion of wastes arose. Surprisingly, a lot chipped in to the story, and some were about others, some about those who were sleeping (that's called stabbing in front!) and those who were not able to come because of fairly-believable-reasons (like "it's my sister's graduation". I remembered some of the stories like the one about Reema* together with Carl* and Erickson who use (until now) the Engineering building's bathrooms when they want to release their burden from the large intestines, because the toilets there are clean since only a few use them. They would even make it their meeting place, "Let's meet at the 6th floor, you know that already. I ate too much during lunch." Of course, the clean bathroom is on the 6th floor.

Another about Reema, who flew to Arabia a while ago and I forgot to tell her to bring me pasalubong when she comes back, was that when her stomach ached so much. Traffic knows when to get you when you're in a hurry, always perfect timing. She rode a jeepney (spare me from jeepneys) to get home since she knew she would make a mess (I don't know how, and I'm not interested) if she does it in their "full of people" bathroom. Then that was it, traffic got her. She realized it was lunch time, thus, the common lunch rush hour. She can barely handle the pressure from within (oooh) so she told the driver, since she was the only passenger, that she would lie down (she didn't ask permission, she just told the driver. She's the boss!) because she was really in pain (I think more of desperation, she doesn't want to stain her white uniform with fecal matter). By the time she went home, she was running amok. Shouting "walang gagamit ng banyo, taeng tae na ako!"

Coming Soon: More Dear Diarya stories. They are better and smarter. Bwahaha.

MORAL: Whatever you eat, wherever you go, be prepared. What you leave would still stink even if you cover it with all the perfumes and soil (?). Sure it wasn't a desirable event, and you'll realize, nature prevails. Haha, diarrhea is not good! But it makes good stories to share. Ang ebak, lagyan mo man ng pabango at pagandahin, ebak pa rin. Whatever.

*Names were changed to protect the innocent. Hohoho..

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Full the String to Stop Manong!

The jeepney is the automotive icon of the Philippines. When American troops began to leave the Philippines at the end of World War II, hundreds of surplus jeeps were sold or given to local Filipinos. Locals stripped down the jeeps to accommodate several passengers, added metal roofs for shade, and decorated the vehicles with vibrant colors. (Americans are really everywhere, even in our jeepneys.)

The jeepney rapidly emerged as a popular and creative way to reestablish inexpensive public transportation. Inexpensive, like the drivers' temper. Sheesh.

It has been a while since I've ridden a public jeepney. I rode one yesterday with a friend. I'm always nervous when we're near our destination, I mean with all the "para!" or "sa tabi lang po!" thing. Then there are those "barkers" who constantly haunt you with their "konting usog lang sa kaliwa/kanan." They really try to maximize the spaces inside. Lucky you if all the passengers inside are uhh, ok, let's say, have an average size. Whatever happened to the aircon-jeepneys?! There are also the "innovation" with a cord in the middle of the jeepney's ceiling which has a note "Full the String to Stop" but with the intention to say Pull the String to Stop. One thing nice about Philippine transportation is that jeepneys are the kings! They can stop anywhere their passengers like, no strict jeepney/bus stops to notice at all. The world is their jeepney stop, woohoo.

My friend and I were talking about the cord. I told him I want to pull it, since my destination is getting nearer. I was just about to pull it, with my arm raised already, then the jeepney suddenly stopped! So I thought, "ok, I didn't pull it yet, so maybe one of the passengers would go down." Then we were at halt for around 5 seconds (never thought a second would be THAT long). Everyone was looking at us, like we just pulled it. They just need to point their fingers at us to emphasize the moment dramatically, but we had tennis racquets with us and I guessed they noticed them as well. They could get a good hitting with the racquets, but I am NOT a violent person. (I don't know with my friend though.) Finally, all the silence and staring mixed with hot midday extreme temperature, I blurted out, "EXCUSE ME, we didn't pull the string!"

So ok, not a good move. After 3 seconds, I "pulled the string to stop" because that's where I'm supposed to go. Then it was like the driver was blind or something, so I was jerking the cord and the red lamp in front of him was blinking like hell already. Finally, I said, "MANONG STOP!!!" because we were so far now. Maybe he was exacting his revenge, I don't know. Finally, I was dropped off, it was so warm, I could feel everyone's blood pressure rising. I had to cross the street without my favorite pedestrian lane (you see, I'm not so good and confident crossing streets, even if it would make my journey longer, I would opt to use the overpass and the pedestrian lanes) and was nervous as a hydrophobic seeing water. Not to worry, I reached home anyway, and that is all that matters. Seriously, me is equal to everything. (Hate mails are just a click away, and I can hit well with my feet and racquet. So I guess, we're cool with that.)

MORAL: Some jeepney drivers are really impatient, mad, crazy, and deaf. Blame all those super loud speakers that would get your butt jumping in no time because of the extreme bass. I don't know, there is just something with jeepneys and me. It's not that I try to make everything matter or revolve around me, but really, if saying "para" or pulling the string to stop is as important as breathing, I would be dead by now. (I remembered one time my sister pretended to sleep as we were nearing our stop, forcing me to say "para", I was so hesitant we almost reached the end of the ride. Crap!) One last thing, don't do anything that would make the driver mad, your lives are at stake, he is behind the steering wheel, you know.