Saturday, June 30, 2007

Double Think Twice

It must've been think twice, but I love what Jeko (my blockmate) said, "double think." Anyway, after 3 days of no internet, 45minutes of staying in the line for the customer tech support of our internet provider, low-volumed school payphones, watching live Wimbledon matches (via tv, but I swear, I'll get to watch all the Grand Slams live, vis-a-vis sooner or later) even though they are usually delayed because of the rain, and stressfully thinking of whether I'll attend the tennis tryouts or not, uhh, nothing. I just wanted to type all those things. Haha.

I watched this commercial off from Chuvaness' LJ. Even though the church is a very powerful influence, and holds the ground against contraceptives, I am pro-contraceptives. I just think people change, and well, there are STDs, so let's preserve life using those things. And please don't eat animals, just eat tofu and drink soy milk or have taho.

MORAL: Ok, the kid is cute but duh, I don't know what I would do if I met someone like that. Maybe I'll be thrown in prison (Paris is now free and I think she'll make another book because she had a jail diary) and child abuse would probably be my case. I'll also make a jail diary as long as the people there in the women's correctional or something won't make me clean the toilet, massage the boss, or beat me like hell. ( This is one situation wherein my tennis, bowling, swimming, running, fitness and taekwondo knowledge won't help me at all.) I don't want to be doing sit-ups while serving my time. Macho-mama. Sheesh. I would be eating rice porridge or uhh I-don't-know-what. As long as there is no meat I'm fine with that. But I'm maarte when it comes to water. Waaah, imagining it, I'll not inflict physical pain on the child anymore, I'll just do what matured people do - buy the sweeties so that the child would shut the crap up, then when we get home, I'll tie him on a chair, give him a day-long sermon on proper conduct and eat the sweeties in front of him, making him envious like hell. Oh yeah. I love kids.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Spot the Difference

This is Elwood, the winner of the annual ugliest dog contest. A mix of the Chinese Crested and Chihuahua breeds. Chinese Crested + Chihuahua = how would the Chinese feel?

But the tongue is really disturbing.

An award for the ugliest dog. Poor creature. He doesn't know he's ugly. Hmm, how do you define ugly? There's even a new word, fugly = f*cking ugly. What the?! That's so mean! "It was so fugly!" Sheesh. Whatever it is, it's mean. I'll make a petition to remove the word "ugly" in the dictionary. I appreciate the dog. He is not ugly! Just, uhh, odd-looking. Yeah. Odd-looking, and deserves a second look.
The dog was also referred to as "Yoda" or "ET". If Yoda = dog, and dog = ugly, then Yoda = ugly. Oh no. Star Wars fanatics would not like this.

I thought the dog looked like a rockstar. Cute? Cuddly? You'll get a lot of attention when you have one of this kind of dogs. Are there Chinese Crested/Chihuahuas here in the Philippines? Give me a call if you know any.
Here's the article about it.

MORAL: The tongue sticks out from the side and stays there for a long time that's why it looks wrinkled and dry. So, learn from the dog, don't stick your tongue out for so long. It would look like that. But it would be interesting if that happens.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Watery Cellphone Barf

I promise, this one is going to be short. I don't want to elaborate on the details.

garlic bread + mussels as appetizer + 2 bottles of tequilla + salt and lemons + loads of chips with cream cheese and salsa + squidballs with sweet and chili sauce + half a pitcher of water = my most embarrassing moment

me: chi, parang nasusuka ako, exciting!
sister: huh?







It was because of the water. Promise.

And oh, my phone got busted. I don't know why, yesterday I was even texting, when I woke up, I can only press the cancel button. Great, goodbye numbers (phone memory), goodbye birthdates (calendar), goodbye messages (saved messages not in the inbox).

I hope my future employer doesn't read this. But the hell, who cares if I drank a lot... of water? I like water. And water, my water, you failed me. BIGTIME.

MORAL: Don't eat mussels with an empty stomach. Don't drink a lot of water after downing 2 bottles of tequilla. Save messages and numbers or birthdates on a different storage other than your phone. Arrgh.

Monday, June 04, 2007

The Future of the PussyCat Dolls

My sister and I were watching a tv show on ETC. It was The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll or something. It was the judging episode, where one of the 3 finalists would be chosen as the newest member of the Pussycat Dolls.

Chelsea, can sing really nice. Melissa, of Filipino ancestry as well (same as Nicole Scherzinger, the lead Pussycat Doll) looks similar with Nicole. And Asia, the "total performer" according to the judges. Of course they won't get the girl who can sing, it is Nicole's job to sing the lead. And they can't take the one who looks like the lead Pussycat Doll. So...? Take the other one. Not that I have anything against Asia, but I just saw it like that. And yes, I have no right to judge, but hell, this is my blog. My blog, my rules. Bwahahahahaha... *evil laughter accompanied with scattered thunder and lightning effects*

me: achi, i know what i want to be in the future
sister: ok ah
me: i now know my profession in the future
sister: ano naman?
me: i want to be a member of the Pussycat Dolls
sister: ngek
me: i want to do that *sings I Don't Need A Man 8 pitches higher than original*

After some time, my sister blurted something.

sister: gusto ko maging member ng Pusakals at mapanood si Christina Aguilera
me: rundown version ng Pussycat Dolls?!
sister: atlis orig. bleh.

MORAL: Don't talk to my sister about the future. Just ask her to teach you how to use the computer - you'll keep asking, so will she. Haha, kidding. Everyone can't be a member of the Pussycat Dolls, but I can. *I know taekwondo, so whoever reacts negatively, tsktsk, think twice.*

Daniel the Quintuplets

Our grades were released a while ago. Instead of loathing or being really happy, a few of us decided to go to TriNoma and smell the paint and varnish, as well as check the stores that are not yet open. Yay instant adventure! Rode a jeepney to UP, then another one to SM North. While boarding the second jeepney, I was joking Francine aka Hello Kitty aka Yoda (yes, from Star Wars), "Haha, si Francine kandong na lang!" since the jeepney was almost full. However, I was second to the last to ride. Mark (the last one) was transferred in front, while I had no choice but to sit on Joppet. Tadah! "ako ang kinandong ngayon."

Francine was barely seated. Even half of her butt wasn't even touching the seat. While I was there, my head bent, and whenever there's a hump, my head makes contact with the ceiling. Congrats.

DJ: wag ka na magbayad, nakakandong ka lang naman eh
Francine & Joppet: hahahaha

Yay, free ride. NOT. The kid was laughing at me. Then, we reached TriNoma. Blahblahblah, let's just proceed to the DQ story. DQ is for Dairy Queen and Daniel the Quintuplets. We got coupons from the nerdy DQ employee outside, instead of having 12oz of Oreo, you can have 16oz for the price of the 12oz. Kuya the Frowning Cashier Man (later to be addressed as KtFCM) was sad. He wasn't smiling, though that doesn't necessarily mean he is sad. But he wasn't smiling. Anyway, everybody wanted Blizzard from Dairy Queen. Then DJ was the first one to order.

Kuya the Frowning Cashier Man: hi, sir. may i take your order?
DJ: isang Oreo na Blizzard *presents coupon gotten from Nerdy Employee*
KtFCM: ok. name po?
DJ: Daniel
KtFCM: *speaks to the Blizzard Maker Employee (to be known as BME)* isang Oreo nga
BME: *serves the Blizzard upside-down in a fraction of a second then looks at the store's copy of receipt and reads the name* Oreo Blizzard for Sir Daniel

So DJ got his Oreo Blizzard.

Mark: Mei palit tayo ng name
Me: Ok sige, ako si Mark, ikaw si Mei
Mark: Ahaha, sige sige. Puwede ring ako si Daniel Junior
Me: Haha!

It was supposed to be a joke since we didn't want to bother KtFCM from his frowning pose. He looks unhappy to see customers. Francine was next and bought Mango Cheesecake something.

KtFCM: *forced smile* yes sir, may i take your order?
Mark: Oreo Blizzard
KtFCM: your name?
Mark: uhhh, Daniel 2
KtFCM: ok? (puzzled look, but punches the name anyway)

*after some time*

BME: *serves the Blizzard upside-down in a fraction of a second again, looks at the receipt* Oreo Blizzard for Sir Daniel.... II?

Mark got his Oreo Blizzard. I was next.

KtFCM: order po?
Me: Oreo Blizzard
KtFCM: pangalan?
Me: Daniel
KtFCM: Daniel din po?
Me: yah, the Third
BME: one Oreo Blizzard for uh, Sir Daniel the Third?
Me: *raises hand* ako 'yun!

BME was reluctant to give me the Oreo Blizzard. Immil was next, just follow the same format and make it Daniel IV. Atleast, KtFCM was not frowning anymore, and he doesn't look annoyed. Joppet ordered something different.

KtFCM: ano po pangalan?
Joppet: Daniel
KtFCM: pang ilan?

Kuya the Frowning Cashier Man was prepared. He was quick to retort that. Haha. Joppet was Daniel V. And by the end of our order, he was happy. Francine is adopted. She's the only one who wasn't Daniel. Sheesh, corny Francine, go somewhere else. Haha.

*background voice* Starbucks Man or Woman: One mocha frapuccino for Me?
Starbucks barristas are next on the list. =)

MORAL: Don't try to mention unfortunate events to others, like you're wishing it to happen to them. Because it can happen to you, I can attest to that. Also, pay your fare even if your butt can't taste the cushioned seat. Also, don't make fun of the shop employees, don't dehumanize them. Make fun of your friends, instead. Ridicule them and their names, eat Oreo Blizzard from Dairy Queen, or inhale all the varnish and paint from newly opened malls and establishments.