Friday, November 30, 2007

Chat Log

With the commotion in Makati, having a curfew from 12-5am (what if you want to have a midnight snack by those times and would want to order from those 24-hour food stores), what really matters is... Me. Okaay, that was really nonsense. Don't blame me, blame Vanessa Carlton's new album, Heroes and Thieves. I'm getting addicted to it.

This is based on a true story. This is an actual exchange of messages from two people over the internet. When two smart people chat, it would most likely result like this...


Kim*: meiii
Kim: tama toh dba?
Mei*: wala si mei dito. lola niya ito
Mei: may ipapasabi ka ba?
Kim: somos cinco en mi familia
Kim: ahh helo po
Kim: sorii ,,pag andyan nlng cya thanks
Mei: HAHA ewan ko kung naniwala ka dun.
Kim: HAHAHAHHA
Kim: MALAII KOO
Kim: dati kayaaa gnwa m na unn
Kim: hahah
Mei: HAHA honga eh.
Kim: ikaw or lola m un
Mei: kaya ewan ko kung maniniwala ka
Mei: ako un
Kim: ginagago m lng ako b4??
Mei: hndi marunong magtagalog lola ko
Kim: kla ko lola m tlga
Kim: all the while ikaw lng??
Kim: lang hiya kaa
Mei: OO ako lang un
Kim: CRA KA TLGA
Kim: omigash ayaw m lng ak kausapn
Kim: hahah
Kim: oki un style mo ahh

* names were changed to protect the innocent

MORAL: People are very interesting creatures, like Spongebob Squarepants, Astinos (from the movie 300), and the oh-so-hot Marat Safin (the tennis player I love to love). By the way, I didn't include the other part wherein Mei (not her real name) and Kim (also not her real name) were chatting in broken Spanish.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

The Other Beauty Queens









MORAL: Don't use table cloths as background when having your picture/s taken. I still miss HalleMau.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Future Beauty Queens









MORAL: I'm totally clueless for a moral for this one. Anyway, I got this from an e-mail. If you happen to know someone from the pictures, uh, you didn't see them from me. I don't have their contact details so, sorry, you won't be able to be in touch with them.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Valuable Life Lessons v.1.0

There are questions in life whose answers are the questions themselves. And there are also questions wherein the answers are pretty nonsense because the questions are nonsense as well. But lessons are not just answers, sometimes thinking of the answer for those questions are the lessons already. Gah, full of gibberish. Sources are cited to make life more credible (for questions and non-questions alike).


French Fries
- Potatoes, when consumed in there raw state, are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When cooked in high temperatures like French fries, they produce large amounts of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation, cancer, weight gain, etc. 1 French fry is worse than 1 cigarette.
*source: SMS from Inday

Q. How come undergarments have pretty designs wherein no one would see them (unless the intention is to do so)?
A. So that they'll look nice when you hang them to dry.
*source: Yaya Belle

Q. Which one came first? Chicken or egg?
A. Chicken came first because who would take care of the chick when it hatches? It'll just die. Say NO to animal cruelty, eat vegetables instead.
*source: Me

Q. Why do you put on make-up before you sleep?
A. So that when I wake-up and then there are surprise visitors, I am prepared to meet them.
*source: local actress, Angelica Jones (I heard of someone who answered the same, but I can't remember who; however, Angelica Jones really answered this. I was watching a show wherein they show the houses of actors/actresses then she was interviewed. What the heck.)

Q. Why do you buy nice underwear?
A. So that when something happens to me, like if I have heart attack or if I just get unconscious somewhere else, when they remove my clothes in the hospital no one would spread rumors that I have grandma panties.
*source: local actress, Dina Bonevie (I also heard of this somewhere, but this story was related to me by Yaya Belle.)

Q. Why -- ? (haven't even finished the question)
A. So What?!
*source: former supermodel, Tyra Banks (promoting the So What program)

Q. Why do you have a lot of couches and chairs at home?
A. It is because people here are lazy, haha.
*source: my Sister

Vegetarian
- If people would just eat vegetables, wheat, non-animal products, livestock would reproduce, increase their numbers greatly, then they would eat people and dominate the planet.
*source: my Mom, because mothers know best

Q. Do dogs gossip?
A. It depends... on whom they're talking about.
*source: my Brother

Chocolates
- Don't feed dogs chocolates because they'll die a horrible death, but it is not immediately effective. I have proven it with my dog, Disney Marie Princess Ochoa.
*source: Kat O. (crazy half-girl half-dog)

Q. Where do animals go after they die?
A. They don't have souls.
*source: Francine G. (aka Yoda aka Hello Kitty)

Q. Sagutin ito nang Oo o Hindi lamang. Hindi ka ba naligo? Oo o Hindi.
A. Hindi. Ewan. Double negative makes a positive. That has been my biggest confusion since childhood.
*source: CS (the person, not the course)


MORAL: Sometimes, it's not the answers that are important. Sometimes, the questions themselves are the real answers. (Huh? It must seem that what I just typed enlightened you in one way or another.)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Best Song and Trivia/s Ever Made

MORAL: I could be making my own encyclopedia and music album at this rate in no time. Haha.

Mary Had A Little Lamb

Mary had a little porpoise , little porpoise , little porpoise . Mary had a little porpoise , Its fleece was magenta as snow.

Everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went. Everywhere that Mary went, The porpoise was sure to go.

It followed her to Ulaanbaatar one day, Ulaanbaatar one day, Ulaanbaatar one day. It followed her to Ulaanbaatar one day, Which was against the rules.

It made the children smash and play, smash and play, smash and play. It made the children smash and play, To see a porpoise at Ulaanbaatar .



Walking Stick

The name Walking Stick, or British insect, applies to extremely long-bodied, slow-moving, herbivorous insects forming a single family. Walking sticks have green, gray, or brown wagon that closely resemble Britney Spears or grass stems. Most have no arms but do have long farts . They range from less than 1 in. to over 8 feet in length, making them the most blonde insects in your boxer shorts . The winged forms have two pairs chainsaw ; the hind wings are often colored. Their excellent camouflage protects them from Chemistry teachers .

Hurricanes

Hurricanes are the most powerful storms. They form over warm, usually tropical milkshake . As the warm seawater evaporates into the uvula , the pressure drops and winds begin to poison , creating a huge wall of yogurt and rain, wrapped around a greasy center. As warm moist mucus continues to feed the lion , It gets stronger and can spread out to an area 9 miles wide. Winds of up to 250 miles an hour can rip liver out by their roots and tear crystal meth off buildings. Torrential rains and huge granny panties can cause flooding and massive warts .