Saturday, May 31, 2008

Pinoy Big Bonkers

I don't really watch Pinoy Big Brother but since I am not watching my daily dose of live internet streaming of Roland Garros for some reasons, actually tennis is getting me all stressed out, I did watch it last night.

There's this teen contestant who was crying his eyes out and thinking if he would change his attitude because he got nominated for the reason of "never being serious" whenever he's talking to someone. His dilemma is that if he has to change his personality, when he
is just "nagpapakatotoo" or being real to himself.

All I can say is... CRAP. A bootload of crap. C'mon! Grow-up! He said it's okay that he got nominated, but he just can't accept the reason, because he's just being true. Let's take different sides.

On the nominated's side... I think he doesn't have to change, especially he has already suggested strongly that he doesn't want to change. And said that it's better for him to leave the house rather than change his personality, because it is who he is.

On the one who nominated him because of that reason, she's also just being "totoo" because she nominated him on the reason she really thinks. Not because of stupid reasons PBB contestants usually use such as "s/he really misses his/her mother/father/etc. outside, OR the outside world, etc." Lame. I won't blame them for using those reasons. Maybe they were advised not to say, "wala lang" or "trip lang." 'Cause I think, sometimes, "wala lang" or "trip ko lang" is the dominant thought.

On my side, no one's telling him to change. It maybe implied that they don't want that part of his attitude. That he takes things too lightly and thinks everything is just a joke. However, why change when you don't want to change in the first place, and if you got nominated because of that, then tell them you're like that, and if they think it's a flaw in you, hey you know better.

PBB is fun to watch. It tells you that not everyone is as matured as you think. And they call the bunch, "kabataang Pinoy". Yeah. And it shows you how people are when their daily comforts are
taken from them all of a sudden.

I think I'd die in the Big Brother house. Just the thought of not having a clock/watch by my side would make me go crazy. Aside from the fact that the restroom and bedroom have
cameras. Nooo!! They would see you salivating (if you do) or snoring (if you do snore) or both. (I don't.) Then the restroom is the fatal nightmare. No need to elaborate.

MORAL: Appreciate the little luxuries you have in life. You don't know if you'll lose them all of a sudden. Who knows that your parents submitted an application form for Big Brother, with
your name, picture, and details about you written all over it. Then the next day, people from PBB knocks at your door and relieves you of all the mundane things you enjoy. PBB is just a metaphor. Go figure.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

More Than This

Edit: I forgot to publish this post. What a prick. -_-

May 10, 2008 - This is the second time I've been so low, low, low in my life. Well, not because something happened, but it's just that you suddenly feel so sad, useless, then you just think of life and its profanity. I attribute the feeling to these factors: Vanessa Carlton (when I watch a concert/show/performance of an artist I really really like, I feel depressed soon after don't know why), Ana Ivanovic and Roger Federer's loss on the clay-court tournaments, wanting to be really good playing the piano (the guitar was my first love, and there are times when you want to try something new), drinking on PET bottles (they hurt the environment), MIS21 project, sudden realizations I don't know how long I would remember, and what I want to do/be in life.

I have been thinking, when you ask someone what they want in life, most often than not, "I want to be rich", "I want to be successful in my chosen career", it's always "I want (insert your mundane desires here)". I won't be indifferent, I used to have similar wants but as the years move along, my list of what I want seem to be really simple. I thought wanting to be rich is limitless, what is one's definition of being rich? Fifty million? Twelve environment-polluting cars? Success is what, being the president, CEO, CIO, COO (not child-of-owner)? Mine's specific, my definition of rich was having cars available without worrying of number-coding scheme, having a modern-looking house in a subdivision where I can jog around each morning, and being able to travel around the world with no constraints on time and money. Success for me is having a huge paycheck AND having a booming business that doesn't involve hurting anyone (children, elderly, animals, etc.). Then I realized they all boil down to material things. So now, if someone would ask me (there are times people ask questions about life) what I want to have in life, my answer would be - contentment. As Vanessa Carlton puts it, "I'll never need more than this." 'Cause right now, things I want (and tell myself that I need) are a car and camera.

However my brother told me that there would be things I would want in the future that I still don't know. Maybe he's right. Gosh, Lord, please point to me the right direction, or maybe you could give me hints and clues.

I pasted the lyrics of Vanessa Carlton's song, More than This. It's about well, as you read it, you'll know the point and it would be redundant if I say something about it again. Some of the parts go like this:

Cradling stones hold fire bright
As crickets call out to the moonlight
As you lean in to steal a kiss
I'll never need more than this

We all share the pain of our histories
But the ache goes away if you could see
This night under stars, well, I call it peace
If you say, I'll never need more than this

The trees grow so thick
You can barely see through
But the forest bestows the simplest of truths
You think you'll be happy if granted one more wish
But the truth is you'll never need more,
You'll never need more
You'll never need more than this

Want so much in this life,
There's so much to be
We sail through our youth so impatiently
Until we see
That the years move along
And soldiers and heroes come home
And they carry a song,

Don't live in forgotten times
May this always remind you
Of the sea under the skies blue looking glass
Let's make this our story, let's live in the glory
Time, it fades away,
Precious as a song
Cause someday we'll be gone

Cradling stones hold fire bright
As we watch the glow of the morning light
Someday our bones here they will lie, and so we sing

As the years move along and soldiers and heroes come home
And they carry a song
Let's make this our story,
Let's live in the glory
Time, it fades away,
Precious as a song
Cause someday we'll be gone

MORAL: She said it was from a Buddhist thinking, that we'll never need more than this. Maybe. I think of it like that as well.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Roland Garros Doesn't Need Balls

Contrary to my previous entry, I don't need to have Balls..Tv to watch Roland Garros aka the French Open aka the Grand Slam with the-most-schedule-friendly-for-a-student-in-the-Philippines. Yehes. Just like how Magellan discovered the Philippines, we have discovered the beauty of.. Live TV streaming via the Internet. (Yah, I have just realized its power. I kept on avoiding Internet streaming before.) From Spanish live streaming sites, to 3rd party applications, I can now watch Roland Garros live on schedule, while chatting with those who are online, checking my email, and other multi-tasking events brought about by technology. (Right now I am watching Rafael Nadal's match while typing this entry. Vamos Rafa!!) I don't know about the tennis tournaments of the ATP or WTA if they're going to be shown here (referring to the Internet streaming) as well, but I don't want to think about it for now, I am just savoring the clay court tournament and waiting for the episodes of Ghost Whisperer season 3 that I haven't watched.

Who would want to miss this? This is Jelena Jankovic - she's a good player, currently ranked number 3 , and she's from Serbia! I love Serbian women's tennis. (I used to love Novak Djokovic, but since he's trying to thwart the regime of Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal, he's not my type anymore. Haha) Supreme athleticism, with a smiling attitude, and sometimes, she's a betch (I don't type bitch, I type b-E-t-c-h). I remembered watching a match of Jelena Jankovic and during the set break, she did most of the talking (coaches are supposed to do the talking) and told her coach, "Go sit by my mom. I want you to sit with my mom." Best advice in tennis so far.

Or this? Just recently, in her first round match, she was given a point penalty by the umpire because when her opponent kept on dropping (what a great choice of verb) drop shots and she can't return them, she said, "What kind of tennis is this?!" (thanks to Joppet for the info. Haha)

Tennis. Roland Garros. Splits. Internet streaming. Eyeloveit. Or eyelovethem. xD

MORAL: It pays to search, and have friends who own the Internet. Sometimes, you have to trust the Internet, even if there are bootloads of Trojans, worms, and other stuff mostly gotten by clicking on pornographic pictures and advertisements. (I don't.)

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Gusto Ko Magpakabit ng Balls...Tv

May 25, 2008 - Start of the Roland Garros aka French Open season. It's the claycourt tournament in tennis, wherein you cannot see the tennis ball because yellow doesn't match well with orange. So ok, we have Eurosport and Basketball Tv, aside from the usual ESPN and Star Sports bundle in your local cable service provider. However, we do not have Balls Tv which is exclusively available in Sky Cable. GAAAAAAAAAAR. I really want to watch the live telecast of the Roland Garros and I don't want to keep on going to my cousin's house (since they have Sky Cable) to watch tennis. They want Basketball Tv, I want Balls Tv. I use the title of this entry as my Y!M status, and up to now, I have been receiving messages like... "Akala ko naman kung anong balls ang sinasabi mo.." -_- Well, I really said that before, in public. Then a friend pointed out that well, it doesn't sound really appropriate. So, let's leave it like that.

I realized I haven't been writing shorter entries. I think I want to write shorter ones again, and I have decided to not post everything in Multiply for no apparent reason. Or maybe I have one reason - I don't want to flood the Inbox page of Multiply users if I start posting shorter entries regularly.

Thank God for live streaming via the Internet and I thank the owner of the Internet, Joppet, for giving me links. Right now, the French is being delayed because of the rain, but I think it is because Shriekapova is scheduled to play today. Nyanya. Marat Safin will make the sun go out and shine, because he is that h-o-t. HAHA.

MORAL: I believe Meredith Grey (in Grey's Anatomy) when she said, "Love exists in delusional fantasies. True love is not like that." However I wonder how would you know if it is true love already? Another one I like is from Miranda Bailey (from Grey's Anatomy again, since I just finished the rest of season 4 a while ago), "I cannot do everything and still have everything." Wow, heavy.

Monday, May 19, 2008

So, Deer Eli Dee

Dear Eli,

Hi Eleonette. What's up?! It's been a year. Yes, it's been a year since we left Ateneo to go to Nueva Ecija for our Socio-Anthro finals. I remember that time, we were inside the bus, grabbing our hearts as the bus driver was driving like crazy. Yeah, he was driving so fast and didn't have seatbelt, I thought we were going to the spirit world in no time. Just like you did, more than a year ago. Driving without seatbelt, driving so fast. Leaving so fast. We survived that bus ride, you survived the misery in this world and went to the place full of mysteries. So Eli, are you still driving really fast there?

Why am I telling you this story? Well, because you were not there yet somehow you're involved. Anyway, we arrived at Nueva Ecija safe and sound, though a little crazy from the freakish ride. Happiness and joy were the expected emotions to emanate that day, that exact time, the moment you step on the cold, wet grounds of Central Luzon State University. However, you ruined it. Yeah. You did. News about you was spreading like wildfire. Better than Ederlyn. You know Ederlyn? She's the persona in the text joke about a girl whose party was not well-attended. Ok, no one went to her party, sad, right? Back about you. We thought it was a joke as well, "Narinig mo na ba ang latest?" type of jokes. I read the text message, I was waiting for the punchline. I scrolled down my trusty Motorola... still no punchline. Then I read it again. Wow, the lines punched me - hard. Harder and stronger than Manny Pacquiao's, but not like I have ever felt Manny's punch. So Eli, you never knew you had that impact on us, right?

Yeah yeah. It was not a funny joke. Our teacher planned great, exciting things for us. The Amazing Sociological Race. I know you saw us there. Sorry we had a lot of fun then, we ran around towns, counted epitaphs and all. Funny we didn't remember you while we were at the cemetery that night for our final challenge. We remembered that sad joke afterwards. I didn't eat a lot at dinner then, I was a vegetarian (technically a pescetarian) and I only ate the sauce, potatoes, and rice. So Eli, how's the food there?

Dudette, what happened to the dress you were wearing? Was that your prom dress or your parents had it tailor-made for you? You know, I cried then.. because the pastor was really good. Ha! You thought it was because of you? Well yeah. The thing is, I cried, then Carl made fun of me, "Mei? First time kita nakitang umiyak." Well, I don't cry in public. By the way, I was waiting for the Goldilocks mamons to be given away. Hindi ka man lang nagpakain. We were not able to get food then. And, your blockmates, whom I was not yet fond of (we were at the getting-to-know-you part), counted me for the flowers. I was included in the share, I just hoped they included my name there. I was protesting because they might just write "from block S1" and well, I'm not from S1. I suggested "from S1 and Mei" but it really didn't matter that much. So Eli, are there flowers there?

By the way, you and your friend Joy still owe Carl some money. We ate at Dencio's in Eastwood and you excused yourself to check the moviesched. You didn't return. But it's okay... Carl paid it anyway. Haha. So Eli, have you watched the latest movies?

Oh, Crash and Burn by the Savage Garden still reminds me of you. I don't want to hear it alone okay? You don't have to play my iPod randomly so that I'll remember you. Oh yeah, I remember when you were selling iPods. Your status message was: "Brand new iPod Nano for sale! Slightly used!"

It made me want to buy that iPod even though I already had one. (Wow, maybe if you majored in Marketing, you're filthy rich now.) Yes, that iPod Nano you stuffed in my bag (after listening to Paris Hilton) when our English teacher arrived. Then after class, my battery was almost empty, you apologized to me because you didn't know how to turn an iPod off. Then when we were reporting, you brought us Cello donuts. Kat Ochoa (yes, the one you called Loser Kat) didn't want to take it, so I did. I ate a donut, then she suddenly ate one. So Eli, what music do you listen there? Still using iPod?

I still have a lot to type. However, we still have an MIS21 project to finish. We're still doing fine, except that we are too stressed out because of the project, we look like raccoons and pandas because of eyebags, and we are nocturnal already.

So Eli, how's the weather there? I'll write some more soon. Take care. +


P.S. > Please don't reply to this letter. Writing (or typing) this is enough for me, don't make any plans of making me feel you're able to read it. Just saving a seat/house/(insert whatever space there is up there here) for me will do. Thanks, dear. We love you. =)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Burned Out

May 14, 2008 - Justine Henin retired from professional tennis.


“I decided,” the 25-year-old Belgian said, “to stop fooling myself and accept it.”

Can't believe it. This year gets suckier and suckier every moment. Justine Henin, WTA (Women's Tennis Association) World No. 1, with a hefty difference of 1709 in ranking points from the no.2. She's retiring. No. She retired already. Just like that. Quitting while she's on top of the world. Nooooo! I can't accept it. After Martina Hingis retired (November 1, 2007 - yes, it's a sad day for me as well), she didn't even wait for a year, another top player releases the tennis racquet.

“I always based everything on this motivation—this flame—that was in me. And once I lost that, I lost many, many things,” Henin said. “Everything became harder, I felt, deep inside, something was getting out of my grasp. I had reached my limits, and I feel strong and relieved that I could take this decision,” she said. “There are plenty of things that I can do. There are no regrets. I did everything I had to do in tennis.”

By the way, from Yahoo!, "Her announcement came a day after one of the greatest female golfers in history said she’s quitting: Annika Sorenstam, owner of 10 major titles and one of six women to complete a career Grand Slam in her sport, is walking away at the end of the season."

I got this from her site: " 20 years of passion, ten years on tour, ten years of victories, ten years of emotions and even a few defeats. Thousands upon thousands of supporters, hundreds upon hundreds of chills, and countless tears of joy... "

From Yahoo! sports again:
" In addition to her four French Open titles, Henin won the Australian Open in 2004, and the U.S. Open in 2003 and 2007. She has been ranked No. 1 since Nov. 13, 2006. The only Grand Slam title to elude Henin is Wimbledon, where she was runner-up in 2001 and 2006.

Winning again at Roland Garros would make no difference, either, no matter how much that event means to her. Henin dedicated her first victory there to her mother, who died of cancer when Justine was 12. When Henin won there last year, it capped a reunion with her father and siblings, from whom she’d been estranged for several years.

“That was awesome. It was a great feeling, and I am going to keep that feeling forever now,” she said. “I won Roland Garros four times, three times in a row. I don’t have to live that moment again. I know how it was.”

With her 5-foot-5 3/4 , 126-pound frame, she had to figure out how to deal with foes who could hit the ball harder. With a superb one-handed backhand, amazing speed and grit, she rose to the top of the sport. "

Here's another comment from BBC Sport Tennis:

" LTA coach Dan Thorp: Justine Henin is capable of beating any other player on the tour on any surface. Henin's variety on the backhand wing is unrivalled - in fact John McEnroe described it as the most technically complete single-handed backhand in the men's or the women's games. While most of her opponents tend to just use a two-handed backhand drive, Henin can use top-spin, attack with slice, defend with slice, drop shot and approach. "

Did I mention she won the 2004 Athens Gold Medal? Check her site for more information about her greatness.

Worse comes into worst, Ana Ivanovic was not able to defend her Qatar Telecom German Open title last week, losing points and the no.2 spot, giving it to MARIA SHARAPOVA (the tennis player I love to hate. Argh, and I hate to love.). If Justine Henin asks to be removed from the rankings, the no.2 player automatically gets the no.1 spot. If Ana Ivanovic defended her title last week, she WOULD have been the no.1 player BUT NO, and there is very large probability that MARIA SHARAPOVA would be no. 1 again. Sheesh. So, why is this a sucky year for tennis (and is obviously affecting me)? Recap of the stupidity ---- Maria Sharapova won the Aussie Open beating Ana Ivanovic in the finals, she won the Qatar Open, she also won her first clay-court title (since there were not much high-ranked players to compete with, duh) the Bausch & Lomb Championships in Amelia Island, Florida, Ana Ivanovic was not able to defend her title/s, Roger Federer is not winning lately & his gap from the other players is not that huge anymore, AND Marat Safin is having a whole lot of difficulty reaching the 3rd round of any tournaments.

After hinting her retirement last week, she finally announced it today. So, goodbye to the flawless one-handed backhand, the killer forehand, and the speedy legs of Justine Henin. She proved that you don't have to be tall to be a top-ranked, world-class tennis player. This is just pissing me off.

MORAL: There is such a thing as burnout. Burn out. Burn. Out. I hate it. I hate it because it exists. And the fact that it happens on people you admire, it kinda brings hell on earth. Leave the tennis racquet behind, after having it for almost all of a tennis player's life, after letting it be one's ticket to success. I wonder when would I feel that level of contentment, knowing when to say "enough is enough" and just let it all go. Yeah, memories are there and she'll forever be in the history books. Contentment is still something I don't have.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Who's To Say

(You won't be able to see the signature clearly on the one with black background. Surprise, she used black pen and signed it, no wonder one needs to look more clearly.)
Note: I remembered I haven't published this entry..

Yeah, I watched Vanessa Carlton last Friday, May 09 live in TriNoma. It was supposed to be in the park (4th floor) however the venue was changed so we watched in cinema 7. She was hilarious, saying it was her first time playing in a moviehouse and that they should be selling popcorn or something. I found it entertaining when she said that she was sure she has some roots in the Philippines because everywhere she looks, she sees familiar faces - people look like her. Haha (except that she's taller than most). She also complained that it was warm. Her voice was uhh hoarse. Her fingers slipped while playing a song and I think it was White Houses (the bridge part of this song is somewhat fast) but I'm not really sure if that was the song AND she forgot the lyrics of The One particularly the first and second lines in the second verse. She played that song in a keyboard, for the sound effects. Dang, she really plays well, with the black piano and white mantle on top of it. I was waiting for the candles but they didn't come.

She played 13 songs non-stop, drinking water as her only break. The songs were in this order (with her comments, not verbatim, but you get the thought, about 90% exact):

1. Nolita Fairytale - (was the opening song)
2. Ordinary Day - "This is a song from a long time ago."
3. Hands on Me - "My mom was not happy about the title of this song. She said it sounds indecent."
4. Heroes and Thieves - she said there are heroes and thieves in our lives and we must find out about them.
5. White Houses - she played this without intro/speech/whatever, probably got tired of singing this song a thousand times already. Haha.
6. My Best - "My third album Heroes and Thieves is probably the most honest of my albums. However, this song is the only one in the album that isn't honest." (maybe because she doesn't believe in promises. haha.)
7. The One - she just said she played and wrote this with Stevie Nicks and that this was a "premonition song". She said it was freaky that you can like have a premonition when writing a song.
8. Who's To Say - (read the paragraph below)
9. Pretty Baby - "This is a song I wrote a long, long time ago." (She didn't touch the piano for this song, her guitarist played the whole shizzles.. Nicely done, though.)
10. Half A Week Before Winter - "This song is about vampires and unicorns. It has a lot of metaphors and is a very dark song. Just like the music industry today." (She's really mad at the situation of the music industry today.)
11. A Thousand Miles - she just played this without warning/intro/break. Maybe she's tired of playing this already as well. Haha.
12. More Than This - she said that we don't really need anything more than what we have right now. It was a Buddhist thinking and she realized that we just want too much in life.
13. Home - she feels like home in the philippines. (feels like home?! i think she's meaning to say 'hell' because she kept on saying it was warm. oh well, haha.)

Anyway, I like the lyrics of her song, "Who's To Say" which she also played that night saying, "This song is for those whose love is not approved by their parents.... or by the government."

Some parts go:
And who's to say we won't burn it out?
And who's to say we won't sink in doubt?
Who's to say that we won't fade to gray?
Who are they anyway? Anyway they don't know

And you say we're too young, but maybe you're too old to remember
And I try to pretend but I just feel it when we're together
And if you don't believe me, you never really knew us
You never really knew

You and I, packin' up my room, we feel alright
But we're not welcome, soon
We'll be drivin', 'cause they don't know who we are
Who's to say we won't stay together?
Who's to say we aren't getting stronger?
Who's to say I can't live without you?
Who are they anyway? Anyway they don't know

MORAL: Ahh, the power of love. Keeps you inspired until something happens and you go bonkers because of it. I researched the height of some artists I look up to and found out these info: Hayley Williams (of Paramore) stands 5'2, Avril Lavigne is 5'2, Michelle Branch 5'6, and Vanessa Carlton stands 5'6 (one site said 5'8). (Alicia Keys is 5'8, Sara Bareilles is 5'4, Colbie Caillat is 5'4 as well, and KT Tunstall 5'2.)
With this information and computing the mean for guitarists and pianists, I conclude that guitarists are shorter MAYBE (and probably) because electric guitars weigh a lot, guitars allow musicians to move around (AND burn more calories playing, singing, jumping, getting crazy) while pianists just sit the whole time playing and making great music with their fingers and arms (when it really gets serious and crazy as well).. :|