Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Rumor Has It : Not Marat Please

If it is so, this is the worst year for tennis ever.
(Second to Martina Hingis' retirement.)

There are rumors that the tennis god (of looks, racquets, and negative energy) named Marat Safin is playing his last year of competitive tennis this year, effing 2009.

If this rumor is true, then what is this?

BAD NEWS! Madness! A tragedy! For me, this is worse than earthquakes, flash floods, landslides, tsunamis, and global warming! Global warming will be greatly affected because it is going to be a lot cooler around the world. One hot man down, Cristiano Ronaldo and David Beckham to go.

I still can't accept that evil rumor. Why? Because it is possible that this could be his last year playing. Annoying shiz.

Do you see the black eye the hot tennis god sports? According to Joppet, the devil's advocate, Marat told in an interview, "There was a small problem. I wasn't in the right place at the right time, put it this way: I won the fight."

See? He starts this year playing in the Hopman Cup with his equally big sister, Dinara Safina, who has dyed her hair brunette. She's a blonde, so what the heck. New Year, new look. (Just so, Marat is around 6'4" while Dinara is around 6 feet.) The story is that the siblings were not really close to each other but only started to talk more about each other (communication is key) just last year (2008) which was like Dinara's best year ever.

So he can't retire! Tennis ratings would then receive an all-time low. And a lot of people will mourn. Thus, the oceans will rise. See Marat Safin's effect to the world?

MORAL: That better be a dang stupid rumor. Or else...

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