Thursday, January 29, 2009

Semi-Final Beer Drinkers

Today is semi-final Thursday. It is the semi-final of my life and of those in the Australian Open. This week is like the super duper ultra mega deluxe edition of hell week. Things to do include paper (in Theology), brochures, deliverable (MIS122), status report, speech, midterm (OS), and marketing. I want to add more things but I don't take-in caffeine anymore so I'm fine with these things for now.

On a side note, I have tips for you to keep yourself awake in the most crucial moments of your life. However, I am not liable when anything undesirable happens to you. I'll just share 5 tips.

Tip#1: Slap yourself silly when you think you'll doze off in a while. Make sure to slap both cheeks (you decide which cheek you're thinking of).

Tip#2: Sit straight or just stand. Never lie down. Or say, "I'll just rest my eyes." We all know you're lying and just trying to fool yourself. If you said that already, slap yourself. Shame on you.

Tip#3: Watch a horror movie if you have time. A really scary one. This can backfire, though. If you get so scared, you'd rather sleep than be awake and have the possibility of seeing a girl crawl out from your television set.

Tip#4: Wash your face. Then dry your face by doing jumping jacks. It doesn't hurt to use a towel, too.

Tip#5: Try drinking hot decaffeinated coffee or caffeine-free tea. Its psychological effect could help. BUT if you really want to be up and running for some time, try drinking boiling coffee or tea.

In Melbourne, Serena won her semi-final match over Elena Dementieva. 3 Russians in the semi-finals, wow. That's not fresh news, okay. Russians have been everywhere in the tennis world. They're like mushrooms in the tennis circuit. I like most of them except a few but it doesn't really matter because global warming is more important than Russian tennis. Then there's the all-Russian affair of Dinara Safina and Vera "the Last Girl" Zvonareva. (Last Girl is equal to when you're in the class list, and it's arranged alphabetically, Zvonareva isn't exactly the name to appear at the top/start of the list.) Aside from both are Russians, both of them are diva juniors. (Because Serena Williams is the Mother Diva) Vera and Dinara can berate officials, break racquets, cuss like sailors (where did this come line come from?), and all tennis diva acts possible.

So I'm working downstairs and our TV is locked at the Aussie Open live telecast. People here noticed Dinara Safina's abdominal area. Obviously, she doesn't have the flattest stomach in the world and I don't care. However, people here care. My brother said Dinara looks like her brother in some ways, and she looks like a.... baby. Someone asked, "Is she pregnant? Looks like 3 months to me." Another would say, "She drinks a lot of beer." And the final blow said, "When you're with girls like that, you should hide." Of course I asked why, then the reply was, "Girls like that eat a lot, ask you to treat them. Extra rice, and 'Are you going to finish your rice? Can I have it?' and all." Ooooohkay.

But it doesn't matter. Tennis matters. And she won. She'll face Serena Williams in the Finals. That's good. She said that her brother's birthday was 2 days ago and reaching the Finals means she now has money to buy him a present. Haha.

More good news, Daniela Hantuchova and Ai Sugiyama are off to the Women's Doubles Finals after disposing Natalie Dechy (France) and Mara Santangelo (Italy). Guess who'll be their opponents? The Williams sisters (or brothers, as my evil blockmate usually says)! The Williams sisters downed Cassey Dellacqua of Australia and Francesca Schiavone of Italy. I am a Serena/Venus Williams and Daniela Hantuchova fan. So, 2 is to 1, I want the Williams sisters to own Australian Open. For the singles, it's a tough choice because I want Dinara to win; however, this is Serena's year as she seems to be following a trend. She won the Aussie Open Women's Singles 2003, 2005 and 2007, 2009 is next and guess what, it's 2009!

MORAL: You may have the biggest stomach around, or any other thing most people would consider an eye sore, but sometimes it doesn't matter. It'll only matter the moment you consider it does.

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