Monday, May 04, 2009

Greatest Feeling in the Multiverse

It's the best feeling in the world. You've been wanting it for the longest time and then when you have it or experience it, it's a euphoria of all the happy things in the world. Bunnies, sunscreen, books, aircon, television, computer, Internet, RFIDs, friends, gummy bears, music, rainbows, cameras, Marat Safin, and all. The greatest feeling that is not love, but of relief.

Picture this. You're inside a mall with your sister and you saw FroYo or Frozen Yogurt then you order one plain and one topped with strawberries, brownies, and white chocolate chips. You sit down and try to stuff everything in your mouth. You're halfway there. You feel a little farty. You fart silently and anonymously, thank God there is no unwanted unique smell then you try to laugh with your sister when she tells a story about someone being pushed off the building and hitting head first on the pavement. Then you feel the second push of events. You really got to go. It's not just the release of gas, but of the product of the digestive process. You tell yourself to hold it until you get home, but no. It's like Frozen Yogurt that's melting already. If you keep it to yourself, chocolate liquid Snack Pack will emerge.

You know it. You're doomed.

MORAL: Always keep tissue, cologne/perfume, alcohol, and hand sanitizer handy at all times.

1 comment:

One of Your Many Slaves said...

This happened to you? :))

Or no. I'm assuming this happened to someone else. Spy ka lang. :|