Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Push the Crank

I just finished watching Crank: High Voltage, Push, and Bride Wars today. Crank was sooo weird. I mean it's the type of film that would make you laugh because you didn't expect it to be made like that. It's ridiculous. I like Jason Statham so much I didn't mind the graphic slicing off of a man's lactiferous ducts. And the censoring of certain parts? It makes water spill out of my pores, and my gall bladder spew excess bile.

Push. It's like Jumper, they say. All I can say is that Dakota Fanning is really good. She got the Hong Kong fashion: wear a super short skirt, then pair it with boots that could act as a pair of pants. Voila! Oh, Chris Evans is still as hot as Human Torch while Camilla Belle has powers, too. Her power is being beautiful. Yep. She's so pretty she can't deliver lines (or maybe she doesn't have to talk much). Remember 10,000 BC? You remember what she said there? No? It's okay. She barely uttered a word there. In Push, she said a few lines! Congratulations! Don't be so cruel. She can memorize lines, and she really got nice eyes. Dialogue? I already said she's pretty and she has nice eyes.

I'll dedicate one entry for Bride Wars. I thought watching it will make me happy or festive or something, but it didn't. Made me think of things again.


MORAL: When you still got a lot of things to do and you just sit your gluteus maximus around and watched three movies, and two Manny Pacquiao matches (don't worry, it's the Hatton fight and the 3rd Morales fight, combining a total of 5 rounds), you know you're in deep, deep, sh...sh.. can I just say situation?

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