Thursday, August 13, 2009

Cast A Machete

Yahoo! printed this as "The Big Surprise - 'Machete': Weirdest Cast Ever?" and now I'm reposting what they have posted and react to it just like the way I do. The block quote I'm about to paste makes this entry a candidate for "More Words Copied Than Typed Blog Entries."

"It started as a joke, but one of the fake trailers from 2008's "Grindhouse" is becoming a real movie. Robert Rodriguez, the director of "Desperado," "Sin City" and the "Spy Kids" trilogy, has begun work on "Machete," which began as a preview that ran before his "Planet Terror" segment of the double-feature he made with Quentin Tarantino.

For the full-length movie, Rodriguez has assembled one of the most eclectic casts ever: Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Don Johnson and Lindsay Lohan. They will join the stars of the original trailer: Danny Trejo, Jeff Fahey and Cheech Marin.

In the movie, Machete (Trejo), a former Mexican Federales, is hired to assassinate a corrupt senator (De Niro). But then he is double-crossed and pursued by a government agent (Alba). Lohan plays a gun-wielding socialite who comes to Machete's aid, and Seagal plays a drug lord from his past. Filming has already begun in Austin, TX, and it will most likely hit theaters next year."

Wow. That's Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba, and Michelle Rodriguez combined in one movie! That's like an amazing feat! Three of my 1,298.36 (figures are 67% accurate) favorite people on Earth are jampacked in one feature film. I don't want to say I told you so, but yeah, I just posted the whole thing from Yahoo! Copied text covered this whole entry.

Okay, Steven Seagal is part of the cast and that gives the movie a minus for me, though I'm sure it'll make my dad happy. Steven Seagal, seriously? Oh well, just celebrate good times and good life. It's 3 in 1 (just like coffee)! Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, and Lindsay Lohan. There's action (c/o Michelle), comedy (c/o Jessica), and horror (c/o Lindsay). This film is going to be legendary!

MORAL: If you think it isn't possible, think again. Maybe you need to seek professional help because you always start thinking negatively. Sheesh. Grow up and acknowledge it. Oh, Lord, difficult times for a student are coming up! I can feel it now. (The last sentence is totally out of place.)

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