Wednesday, October 07, 2009

IM Alone

I told myself and just posted it in my status message in Yahoo! Messenger a few nights ago that I won't be clicking on people's names then chat with them. I'll reply only if someone sends me a message first and I thought it would be easy. There were times that I've typed messages 5-pages long then delete everything because I'm not supposed to be IM-ing people. Why? What's up with this weirdness?

I just feel like it.

I'm a sucker for social experiments and feeling-Philosophical things that aren't really Philosophical in nature and can't be considered social experiments. I guess I am just that neurotic.

I'm kind of being half-meant-true emotional this sem. I'm thinking if I'm just wasting other people's time when I double click their names and fire away. I don't chat or buzz those with busy signs okay? I just thought that maybe I just type so much or share too much stories, so maybe it's about time I learn to shut up even just virtually. Would people double click my name and send a message instead (of me doing otherwise)? Sheesh. Emo, much.

Then I remember what happened to me when I was in highschool as well, also in my senior year. I don't like to associate it with my senior year but I guess I want to look what difference have I made from highschool and college when dealing with people. I'm just not too familiar with being too close with people. There were times when I ask that if you can't have relatives as your maid-of-honor, to whom would you give the title? And, will that person accept it? I guess I'm with those who have a million acquaintances but few close friends. I personally prefer the other road, fewer friends but the relationship is intense. Boohoo. (If I get married, I'd probably just ditch the whole maid-of-honor thing.)

What if I really have to be in contact with someone? There's cellphone, there's e-mail, or even there's such a thing as sending a message in Facebook. (You're surprised?!)

I told a few blockmates about this, one thought I'm having technical difficulties (because YM is prone to crashing on you especially when you really need it) or something. Well, it's emotional difficulties, baby.

MORAL: There's no real time for reflection. Some things strike you when you least expect it to. Just like while doing your project. It's annoying but sometimes you can't help it. I'll admire you if you can control that. "Please, no sudden realizations while I'm working real hard in my academics!" Ohh, I think that's called focus. I guess I must focus more. Dang.

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