Thursday, November 26, 2009

Reflections at 2AM

This was drafted last October 12, 2009 at 2:30am. I read it again and found out that sheesh, finals bring about personal issues. They're not a good mix.

I'm not sure if I can consider this one of those emo posts again. Haha. If this is an emo post, this is the 2nd one. And this is not intended for this person to know because well, it isn't - it can't even be considered a letter. If you happen to get to read this, well, you can't confirm if it's about you anyway. However, if you think you are this person, we need to fix our lives ASAP.

I just want to say/type/post that it is such a pain to know (and feel) that you can see the boundary, the limit, in the friendship you are sharing with someone for a few years and counting. There are limits, or well, I just realized that there IS a limit in the friendship I have with you. When someone tells me we have a love-hate relationship, is there something wrong? Hah!

I guess I'm not patient enough to always understand, absorb, or just "let it go" when you things get really crappy. I have only said so much once. Only once. Why, after all these years, only once? 'Cause someone never learns. And if you have counted more than once (I believe you have tallied more than once in your board), you're doing it wrong. You admit it, you know that you're like that but knowing without doing is like Ondoy - it's no good.

I find it really annoying I'm having these kinds of realizations at 2 in the morning, right when I have truckloads of things to do. Seriously.

And then I find it amazing how you could think over a cartoon character. I'm talking about Spongebob Squarepants because the roots of Spongebob was shown in MTV and I got the chance to catch some info. Someone from Nickelodeon said that the beauty of Spongebob (or what's amazing in him) is that he doesn't (or cannot) see the negative emotions of other people. He doesn't (or cannot) see Patrick's stupidity, the crabbiness of Squidward, and how Mr. Krabs could be so mundane and exploitative. I wonder if Spongebob is just turning a blind eye in his friends' qualities or is he just that ignorant?

I laughed when a friend told me she's experiencing a "quarterlife crisis". You don't have to wait for midlife to experience it. You just need to get stressed out.

MORAL: Who's to say? And who are they, anyway?

I remember the results of my FIRO-B test. It haunts me every time. When I get disappointed with someone, I can footnote the FIRO-B results.

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