Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Twilight-Like Realization

I miss writing about educational stuff. How I can help people around me learn more by reflecting on the events that have transpired in our lives. And how I want to remind them that the center of the universe is already taken by yours truly. So just go indulge in your personal fantasy if you still want that spot. By the way, if you can't handle my humor there's still time to get accustomed to it. I promise you, it would be worth it.
The Grand Daddy of Edward, Stefan, Damon, and all the other vampires you think you personally know.
Whether you're Team Jacob or Team Edward, I don't care. If you like the movie, the books, the whole story, I'm fine with you. If you hate it so much you really have to tell the world how much you loathe it, go ahead. I don't judge. Well on the inside I appreciate how much you detest Twilight and everything associated with it. Yet you still watch the movies. I just don't like hypocrites. Oh shoot, sorry to disappoint you. This is not an entry about Twilight nor vampires. It just reminded me of it when I was stuck in traffic. Let me recall the events.

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Okay. I'm done recalling that experience. So here's how it went. My afternoon snack and lunch were digested quite rapidly and I was already hallucinating by the time I left the office. I still walked to Robinson's Galleria, a good 10-15min walk. Bus or jeepney? Decisions, decisions. Duh, jeepney! I can save 4 freaking pesos (Save a peso a day and you can have 7 pesos in a week! Think about it!) even though I can die from air pollution and you know how crazy jeepney drivers steer nowadays! Wrong choice, I told you to just take the blue pill. Ortigas traffic. It's that time when people decide to drive their cars and pretend that Ortigas is one big parking lot. People should stop snorting cocaine, it's messing their perception of reality. I was stuck in traffic - hungry and seated next to someone carrying 2 plastic bags of fatal artery-clogging processed food. I really just wanted to go home and eat healthy food, like those fat-free marshmallows my sister bought me.

Fast food. Those McDonald's french fries. I inhaled the polluted air of Metro Manila and while I was expecting my nostrils and cilia to be filtering carbon monoxide and rocks, my olfactory nerves registered a different sensation in my brain as I was able to smell lard, potatoes, and the grease from that clown's face. McDonald's french FREAKING fries! The woman beside me was making everyone nauseous with the stuff she was carrying.

I cannot give her a sharp burning glare because of the effect she has on me. My eyes so dark and pupils dilated, I wanted to stare her down. I want to cover my nose from the smell and hide the pained expression in my face. Now, I understand how Edward feels towards Bella. Saying how he tries so hard to control himself from eating/biting/sucking her blood just like Pinoy streetfood betamax. "So this is how Edward feels..." is what struck me like lightning. I really want to pay the woman beside me for her fries so I could just slam them all inside my mouth, chew once (or completely fast-forward to swallowing everything) then swallow everything. I was waiting for my subconscious to reign supreme and totally influence my conscious into doing that ridiculous thing. Thank you, self-restraint. I was able to endure the whole trip home with the image of french fries still stuck in my head.

Yes, that is Jacob on the right and Edward on the left ripping freaking bloody Bella in the middle.

MORAL: Don't judge those you see carrying a pained expression, thinking the world has no future, with contempt, anguish, sadness in their eyes. They're probably just hungry. And Edward? Cut the vamp some slack. He prefers to put product in his hair over eating his girlfriend. Kudos, dude.

And I would really love to finally type this out:
A realization is different from a deduction.
Throw stones in the air, when you get hit on the head, go to the infirmary. Fast. ;)

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