"For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; and then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

 

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

 

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor, into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears."

The last paragraph melted me. Hit me right to the core because I have experienced laughing all of my laughter and weeping all of my tears. I have seen and felt the edge of happiness and sadness, when the world stops and your eyes betray you, when the world stops and the two of you are the only ones alive in this surreal magical moment. We have fought with weapons sharper than swords, with words louder than thunders that break through lovers. Yet, after all, I still long the other's arms.

But in the midst of picking up one's broken pieces, I'll still look for you.

Endlessly. 

If you want a future with someone you deeply care about, embrace his/her past even if it's as dark as f*ck and crazy as sh*t. Easier said than done though, but no one can do it better than you. 

They say experience is the best teacher but they didn't add that the student chooses what to learn from the experience. 

What did you get from the experience? Did you focus on the pain? How about just being better next time? Did it make your understanding broader? Unearthed realizations from it? Like, sometimes, it really just happens. Things happen. And sometimes, prince charmings are far from perfect. 

When you think there are snakes everywhere, maybe you just spent a lot of time with snakes around you. Shutting off people from generalizing breaks hearts. Maybe this is it. Don't let go. 

Taiwan, Not Iwan!

A lot of things happened in March and I was just not able to write about it, much less, give time to reflect on it. It was the first time I cried because of a trip. WHY? One week prior to my Taiwan trip, I was fixing my visa and I just had this fever. The kind of fever that doesn't show up in work and doesn't get read in the thermometer whether that would be digital or the mercury kind. I just felt warm and weak with that warm feeling in your eyes. Maybe it's just the summer? It was March anyway. I feel okay in the morning, then a little restless in the afternoon (I thought I was just getting lazy in the office), and by nighttime, I am down with a fever.

I just got alarmed when my mom told me that I might not pass the heat scanners in the airport if ever I proceed to Taiwan. OMG Taiwan Iwan got into my mind. I might be detained if I push it, and then I will not be released to the Philippines immediately. Horror stories filled my active and untrustworthy imagination. My dad accompanied me to the diagnostic clinic at Promenade and the doctor recommended that I take almost all the tests possible. The doctor said I was really warm but it's not showing in the thermometer. (Spoiler: I thought this was my chance to be popular, I am a carrier of a very mysterious disease. Apparently not.) Countdown to Taiwan trip? 3 warm days.

I started getting chills with fever going up to 39.9 C that Saturday. And then it was Sunday and the same thing was still happening. Countdown: 2 crying days. That was when I finally accepted I won't be able to go to Taiwan. All the work and money and expectation... Down the drain. My yaya was still hopeful while my mom was thinking of re-booking my ticket.

Then results came in Monday morning. I took the first pill and didn't experience any of my previous predicaments. I was up and about by Wednesday morning. And my flight was Wednesday night.

That was about it. :| I crammed my recuperation.

Taiwan? Success!

Taiwan is probably one of the most underrated places that Filipinos visit. It's one of the listed destinations in Cebu Pacific (read: budget airlines) and yet people are going all around the world and somehow skipping Taiwan. Ask around and people will give you, "Ano nga ba meron sa Taiwan?"

Apparently, there's a lot of things going on in Taiwan. Cheap food, night markets everywhere, cheap transportation costs (look at Japan's and you'll know what I'm talking about), friendly folks, no/cheap entrance fees, shopping (both cheap and branded finds), cherry blossoms, Taipei 101 (it's a requirement), historical memorials, crystal cabins/ see-through cable car floors, tea, milk tea, more street food, more milk tea, and national parks.

It's leveled-up Hong Kong and you'll wonder why you haven't been thinking of visiting Taiwan.
Because you should be.
And you should really do it.

Ding Tai Fung! They have vegetarian xiao long bao!

We really came to Taiwan for the PingXi lantern festival. We took the subway and one bus ride to reach this place where a lot of people lighted lanterns and watched them fly away. I had mixed feelings about this, because really, where do dead lanterns go?

It was a magical moment, even though it's not really
environment-friendly.