Imaginary Diary

Tuesday, Dec. 25, 2007
Dear Diary,
You know, I really don't keep a diary, because I might write about things that I don't want other people to read about. I realized, when I die, someone would find it, read it and share it. I don't want people talking behind my back. Oh, I'm already dead by that time. Anyway, it is Christmas. Spent the eve with family and relatives as usual. It is an annual ritual (with the gifts, food, and wine/alcohol). Morning, we watched the movie Halloween, because that was the DVD my brother found scattered near the DVD player. Great movie for Christmas. Then later in the day, we went to my grandfather's (mom) side Christmas party and I met a cousin. He is six years old and he taught me a lot of things I'll never learn in school. Let's do a "Did You Know?" question and answer portion of the event and facts that I remembered.

Did You Know...
- That rulers are the ones who make the rules?
- That rulers have Rs?
- That heli-cough-ters don't cough because they don't have faces?
- Skeletons are not tiniks because tiniks are tusoks?
- Sadako and Sudoku are not related?
- Tablecloths are made of hankies?
- Saying HAHA doesn't mean you are laughing?
- Zygotes are not real, because he doesn't know them?

Love,
Me (who else are you expecting?!)

Wednesday, Dec. 26, 2007
Dear Diary,
Why are you not answering me? Can't you see I'm having cramps?!

Love,
Me

Thursday, Dec. 27, 2007
Dear Diary,
It is my first time. Yes. To step inside Mall of Asia. Me and 2 of my friends went to Global Fun Carnival. It is really Global, since you can't understand other instructions, unless you are multi-lingual. Filipino/Tagalog doesn't count. It is fun, global, and yeah, it is a carnival! I remember the infamous line by a local actress, "I don't eat meat, I am not a carnival." Yes, because she is a vegetarian. Hoorah!

Love,
Me (surprise!)

Friday, Dec. 28, 2007
Dear Diary,
Since it is still Christmas break, I'll write about a very timely entry. It is 5:45pm. Timely. I can't believe how much I spent this Christmas season. I spent so much. I spent so much time thinking what I will give to other people. I wanted to bake cookies minus the rat poison, or brownies. In the end, I wasn't able to bake or do make-your-own-gifts, and I owe people (my sister) some money while someone (my brother) owes me money and he hasn't paid yet. I want to watch a movie, but I don't want to hurt myself by watching KATAS NG SAUDI. If I watch that maybe you could see life literally leave my body. I'll wrinkle like a prune in front of you. One reason why I love the Christmas season, you can eat and spend money without feeling guilty. Yehes! Time for gluttony, for blood sugar to soar to the heavens, and for some added weight (then you promise yourself you'll shake them off next year. *cough* my sister *cough*). That works for me, but not for other people. I'm reluctant to spend my Christmas money, though I have spent some yesterday already. Can't blame me, because if you do, I'll blame you.

Love,
Me


MORAL: Eat and be merry for tomorrow, global warming will kill us. New Year's Resolutions are coming next, and I'll mock each and every one of them. Nyanya.