Fucking, Germany / Austria

I really love Europe. Are you thinking what I am thinking? I guess not. Read the article first then let's all plan to visit the place. Ohhkay, don't bring a screwdriver, the people there (Wait, how do you call those who live there?!?!) would probably use it to kill us (or you). Uhhh, but how can we go there? Let's ask the our mothers how we could go there. How do they call mothers who came from their place? :| Here's a map to guide us or you or whoever wants to visit the place. If they have a feast, how do they call it? Hmmm.... Interesting enough.




MORAL: Name well to live well. You probably don't want to be called anything similar to that. Think before naming, well unless you are just naming your things. But hey, I don't want to name my laptop Fucking or Shit or (insert your crush's girl/boyfriend here). Well, if you're from another country I think it's acceptable. Your kid/something-alive-that-you-named won't kill you. There are a lot of cultures out there.

Philippine Space Station

skylab

n. a motorbike fitted with a horizontal board at back that can seat several passengers across.

Etymological Note: Named after Skylab, the international space station that sported jutting solar panels. Filipinos are said to have been fixated on Skylab when it fell to Earth in July 1979.

If you thought tricycles and pedicabs are uniquely Pinoy, thank the Skylab, which is a motorcyle fitted with wood plans on both sides where passengers sit. This is common in many rural areas, especially travelling through mountainous terrain. It is the Extreme Public Transportation. Instead of studying for my MIS101 Midterms tomorrow, I just watched the episode of The Correspondents about the Skylab. They interviewed a teacher who has been riding the Skylab ever since she started teaching. "It is fun to ride the Skylab, of course, a taxi is preferable but with no roads, taxis will not survive here. Also, it is more exciting, especially when the Skylab falls and we all stumble," she replied giddily. EXCITING. The only (exciting) ride (aside from those found in theme parks) I have experienced was the less notorious semi-habal-habal in Iloilo, wherein we are 4-5 in a motorcycle. They call it "single" there, since there are 4-5 people including the driver in a single 2-wheeled (duh) motorcycle.

I want to see Skylabs along Katipunan. Yay!


MORAL: Filipinos are just sooo creative. Who knows next time there would be air-conditioners installed in tricycles. Next transportation: Engine-powered skateboards. Nice.

*Note: I forgot to publish this and I just realized I saved it as Draft. Oh well.

Sweetey Nodd

The Lady, did she succumb?

Last night, after eating in Kamay Kainan in Greenhills (Annie Sexy's treat) we went to the cinema and checked the last full show schedule for Sweeney Todd. I wanted to watch National Treasure 2 because I think Sweeney Todd is fine to watch in pirated DVD (thanks to Riverbanks for our pirated copies). Anyway, Kara, Henry and Kirk wanted Sweeney Todd. I lost the democratic votation. The movie is R-18 here. Well, Kara and I are not yet 18 so she was reluctant. Then I had a flashback.

Let's flash back to the Jumanji days. I'll never forget that. I guess we still didn't know then that as long as you have an adult with you, a PG-(insert number here) rated movie allows kids inside. Anyway, my sister and I were with yaya Susan and we wanted to watch Jumanji. I was still below the required age. Then they just told me to tell the ticket person that I'm of proper age already. However, when the girl asked me, "Are you thirteen years old?" I was shaking and well, I didn't lie then. To cut the story short, we didn't get to watch the movie and both of my companions were mad at me. I survived the "evil stare" of my sister. Thank God.

Back to Sweeney Todd, it is an R-18 movie, so, when we bought tickets, the girl asked me, "Ikaw, miss, 18 ka na ba?" I lied. Then she asked for my ID. I gave her my school ID which doesn't include one's birthdate. She then asked again after checking my ID, "Kailan birthday mo?" I lied again. Haha. She gave us our tickets.Then Kirk asked, "Ako, miss, hindi mo ba ako tatanungin?" Oh well. We just thought all of them looked old enough to be allowed in R-18 movies. And I wasn't. (This age thing has happened to me numerous times already. Like when I had henna tattoo before, the guy thought I was a freshman.... in high school.)

Sweeney Todd was full of... thick, red fake blood and probably would scare a lot of the clients of barber shops. Turning the dead clients into meat pies was like the best scene I could imagine with me saying, "I told you to not eat meat! Go vegan!" The plot sucks, like it was written for those with no imagination. You could guess and predict what would happen. Even with how the characters looked like, it's like they are all part of the band My Chemical Romance. Nice songs though. And Borat (the actor) was there! We vowed never to eat in restaurants that are near barber shops as long as we can remember the scenes in the movie.

On our way home, we overheard some of the people saying they never knew that was the ending. Oh well. They might even have a different interpretation of the movie. So I was the first one to be dropped off, since I was the one nearest to Greenhills, but then on our way along Ortigas, we noticed Bruno's Barber and it became the subject of mockery. After tormenting and backstabbing the barber shop (by so much it seemed to be included in the 10 Worst Places in the World imaginary list), we saw the restaurant beside it.... Kamay Kainan, where we ate earlier. (My friends thought about the kaldereta they ate and wished they haven't said such evil words about Bruno's Barber.)


MORAL: Don't go to barber shops and have your beards shaved with an open blade... if you're a girl. And yeah, check the restaurant if it's near a barber shop. (But hey, who would ever think that they use human meat, that's just sooooooooo Resident Evil.) Damn shooting near our house, always filming the action scenes in the middle of the night! May Sweeney Todd offer them a shave.

Robin Padilla and the Fire Trucks

It's not a rip-off of Alvin and the Chipmunks or something, but Robin's Chrysler looks really macho-like (or machoesque if you like), with the big car body and beautiful, wide, shiny mags (when will the street dogs pee on it, I wonder). It's past midnight and when you are new to our place, you'll think you are in a warzone. Sounds of gunshots and explosions, break the silence of the (very) early morning. I really don't know why but they usually prefer to shoot the action scenes of a movie or an episode (of a soap) during the wee hours. The production staff must be very sensitive, concerned people. When we moved here before, my mom woke us up before, saying, "Anak, may nagbabarilan sa tapat natin. Wag kayo bababa." and she was semi-hysterical, (if only I knew then how to use the sphygmomanometer, I'm sure the results aren't ideal.) only to discover local actors she can recognize, walking along the streets with all the PAs (personal alalays, rather, assistants) they have. Hmmm, I really like the car, with its XXX (then insert the numbers here) customized plate number. Then I remembered, they don't blow up pretty cars in local movies. Boxed, second hand ones are very handy (I'm sure you noticed them), and they add to the pollution. Scream about global warming. (Try watching a film, when you see an old car, there's a 95-97% chance it'll be blown up, or it'll crash somewhere.)

Around 5pm, there were fire trucks rushing from Aurora Blvd. (5 trucks from Aurora, plus trucks from other fire stations is equal to n, wherein n is still unidentified) towards the direction I usually pass when I go home. Not good, we were fire victims (back in 1995 with super typhoon Rosing) before, so I get a little andrenalin when I hear sirens. I was stuck in traffic with my friend and I realized we were getting nowhere, so we decided to walk. Yeah. I love walking, especially on days when the weather is fine (usually 5pm onwards). Thick black smoke and a funky smell of burning stuff were the prevailing features of the day. I even thought it's part of the shooting, or like "Did Robin Padilla burn himself again?!" Not that I care. But with traffic, I really care. See, I am always concerned. Therefore, I am a caring person. Then there are Care Bears, and this is getting absurd.

I miss my neighbor's cat's lover, and his beautiful voice. Crying "meow" for three days. Oh, I forgot to post about that. Next time I will, I saved it somewhere else. I prefer him over Robin Padilla, though.

The Australian Open (Grand Slam of Asia/Pacific!) is on! Hoorah! Let's go, Marat, let's go!


MORAL: The war hasn't reached Manila, yet. Thank God. Politics is a war by itself, but do I look like I care? I care, when Marat Safin practices without his shirt on. Good thing tennis season started already. Bring the heat! Just not to the point that there'll be fire. Ohhkaay, this is a post that is... worthy of the Delete button. (But this is my blog, so bear with it. Thanks.)

Cocaine in Swiss Miss

Let's talk about cats and Martina Hingis' doping incident.

I still don't believe Martina Hingis (she's the Swiss Miss I am talking about, not the yummy chocolate drink you've always enjoyed, with tiny marshmallows) took drugs - cocaine in her case. I agree with what Venus Williams said, that drugs won't help you much in tennis. It is a mental and physical game, and taking drugs would disrupt the other side of tennis. It won't make the ball go faster, won't make your shots better. In other sports, it would make a whole world of difference. Venus is now becoming a spokesperson for women's tennis. Not bad, after being involved in the campaign for equal pay in Grand Slam events.

Ok, to quote Venus: "In tennis it doesn't matter what you might take, it doesn't keep the ball in, it doesn't calm your nerves. It doesn't do any of that," she added. "I can see in track and field and other sports, but tennis is definitely a lot of mental and skill. There is no magic pill for that," she said.

It just saddens me that her amazing career would end with a stain.

I'm such a Martina Hingis fan. She's the superhuman tennis player for me. Started playing tennis when she was 2 (play tennis at this age?! The only thing I did when I was 2 years old was throw my toys to my yaya), then won her first tournament at the age of 4 (what?!). She was even named after another tennis great, Martina Navratilova (just search her name, and you will be amazed). Martina Hingis can be found in record books, when you read something like, "the youngest player to..." her name would most probably be there. She introduced the drop shots to the now power-dominated game of tennis. Players then even thought it was illegal. Haha. And they said, her style is like playing chess on the court. (Does that explain what they usually say that, "Tennis IS a mental game"?) I can say a lot of things about Martina Hingis but would stop right now because it is 3:50am. I told you, I am a fan.

About the cats, well, I'll just post another one about that next time. I don't think it is appropriate to write about cats and talk about tennis. To tell you the truth, I'm still not yet done documenting the Cat Files, so, next time would be better.


MORAL: Don't do drugs, or they'll do you. Whatever. Just don't take them. Just. Don't. Keep out the Nike slogan just this once.

Imaginary Diary

Tuesday, Dec. 25, 2007
Dear Diary,
You know, I really don't keep a diary, because I might write about things that I don't want other people to read about. I realized, when I die, someone would find it, read it and share it. I don't want people talking behind my back. Oh, I'm already dead by that time. Anyway, it is Christmas. Spent the eve with family and relatives as usual. It is an annual ritual (with the gifts, food, and wine/alcohol). Morning, we watched the movie Halloween, because that was the DVD my brother found scattered near the DVD player. Great movie for Christmas. Then later in the day, we went to my grandfather's (mom) side Christmas party and I met a cousin. He is six years old and he taught me a lot of things I'll never learn in school. Let's do a "Did You Know?" question and answer portion of the event and facts that I remembered.

Did You Know...
- That rulers are the ones who make the rules?
- That rulers have Rs?
- That heli-cough-ters don't cough because they don't have faces?
- Skeletons are not tiniks because tiniks are tusoks?
- Sadako and Sudoku are not related?
- Tablecloths are made of hankies?
- Saying HAHA doesn't mean you are laughing?
- Zygotes are not real, because he doesn't know them?

Love,
Me (who else are you expecting?!)

Wednesday, Dec. 26, 2007
Dear Diary,
Why are you not answering me? Can't you see I'm having cramps?!

Love,
Me

Thursday, Dec. 27, 2007
Dear Diary,
It is my first time. Yes. To step inside Mall of Asia. Me and 2 of my friends went to Global Fun Carnival. It is really Global, since you can't understand other instructions, unless you are multi-lingual. Filipino/Tagalog doesn't count. It is fun, global, and yeah, it is a carnival! I remember the infamous line by a local actress, "I don't eat meat, I am not a carnival." Yes, because she is a vegetarian. Hoorah!

Love,
Me (surprise!)

Friday, Dec. 28, 2007
Dear Diary,
Since it is still Christmas break, I'll write about a very timely entry. It is 5:45pm. Timely. I can't believe how much I spent this Christmas season. I spent so much. I spent so much time thinking what I will give to other people. I wanted to bake cookies minus the rat poison, or brownies. In the end, I wasn't able to bake or do make-your-own-gifts, and I owe people (my sister) some money while someone (my brother) owes me money and he hasn't paid yet. I want to watch a movie, but I don't want to hurt myself by watching KATAS NG SAUDI. If I watch that maybe you could see life literally leave my body. I'll wrinkle like a prune in front of you. One reason why I love the Christmas season, you can eat and spend money without feeling guilty. Yehes! Time for gluttony, for blood sugar to soar to the heavens, and for some added weight (then you promise yourself you'll shake them off next year. *cough* my sister *cough*). That works for me, but not for other people. I'm reluctant to spend my Christmas money, though I have spent some yesterday already. Can't blame me, because if you do, I'll blame you.

Love,
Me


MORAL: Eat and be merry for tomorrow, global warming will kill us. New Year's Resolutions are coming next, and I'll mock each and every one of them. Nyanya.

Headless Encounter Strike

Anne Boleyn had no idea how it feels, because her head was sliced cleanly. Astinos didn't feel it as well. His beautiful head (for the love of Sparta) was chopped off in one swing by the Persian rider.

How does it feel to be internally decapitated? As in the only things that connect your head to your body are your muscles, skin, tissues, and nerves. The bones are well, not together anymore. You must be turned to your front and even the slightest movements could cost your life. Screws are drilled into your head, bone cells taken from your leg, and Rice Krispies attached to them. If not because of asphyxiation, they said that this is how hanging kills you. So, don't hang yourself. If you're feeling lonely and blue, call a friend, call someone, anyone. The rope is not the best way to end things. Try riding the roller coaster and ask them to pull the emergency brake while your coaster is upside down. Now, what would you do? Would you just scream until your lungs collapse? I would definitely scamper for my stuff, they might fall, and that is not fun.

From having to read about internal decapitation in Reader's Digest this month's issue, I watched season 4 of my beloved Grey's Anatomy (if you didn't know, my lifelong dream is to become a doctor, well, until now). The same day I read about it, was the same day I watched about it. What I found to be interesting (hey, internal decapitation is interesting, but it is not a sight or a feeling to be desired) is that the procedures, and the way the doctors talked to the family of the patient, were the same. They said that "this might be the last time you're going to see your son/husband alive," and bah, that is soooo sad. I mean, just thinking about the situation minus the background music would make me feel emotional. What more if there's a really sad song that plays while the discourse is taking place?

Tomorrow we'll be having our Accounting test, followed by Christmas party for my "adopted family" in Payatas, and then celebration of my grandmother's birthday right after. It is like internal decapitation as well. Only that, it's not fatal.


MORAL: Be thankful for your condition right now. I mean, even if you think other people's heads are just full of air, they are still intact. I don't want my nerves dangling around my neck like some necklace or choker.

Blast from My Musical Past

You were the question I needed answered.

Let's talk about my musical heroes.

I'm a really big Michelle Branch fan. I mean, I decided to learn the guitar because of listening to her music for countless hours. Her album (The Spirit Room) was the first CD I ever bought with my grade school allowance. Then her songs were the first songs I learned. And then, and then, never mind. Her second album Hotel Paper came, then after some time, released the album Stand Still Look Pretty, with Jessica Harp as The Wreckers. They (Branch and Harp) sound soooooooo much alike, I thought all the while that Michelle Branch was singing all the songs in their album. (Harp was Branch's back-up singer before.) I was, "Is this Michelle Branch's solo album?! What did Jessica Harp do here, just pose for the cover picture?!" Then I saw the music video of Leave the Pieces, and tadah. I saw Jessica Harp sang the first verse, the bridge, and practically almost most of the songs in their album (based on clips of their live performances courtesy of YouTube). I can't believe it. Haha. I listened to their album over and over again, asked the opinions of other people and yeah, I still can't believe it. (Just read recently she's a vegan. Copycat, I was first.)

Having two chart-topping songs (Game of Love and I'm Feeling You) with Santana, I told my sister before (before = past; it is not like I have a sister AFTER. Whatever. Pardon me I'm typing this in the wee hours.) that Michelle Branch is the adopted daughter of Santana. Of course, she dissed my nonsense comment and bossed me around after.

Anyway, the real news here is that Michelle Branch is starting another solo album. She started it last October (I'm not a stalker, okay? I just read it somewhere. I found that information while searching for the String theory and of Stephen Hawkings' private life. And I am bluffing about the last sentence.) She's going to start touring by February and release the album soon after. If that happens, it would be one of the greatest birthday gift for me. (I'm a really big fan. I'm not big, but I am a fan. Whatever.)


"At least I can say I was not afraid. I loved you all the way, I'd pick a fool any day." - from the song "Fools Like Me" of the album Heroes and Thieves (Vanessa Carlton)

For the mean time, I'll keep on admiring and be addicted to
Vanessa Carlton. Yay! Her songs are really good, her voice is great, the one you can afford to listen to the whole day, or 3 days (her clips on YouTube reveal that she can REALLY sing live), and she just plays the piano amazingly. I think she looks better now, using the music videos as basis. Or she just have a really good make-up artist now? I love her dresses on the Nolita Fairytale music vid, and I like the video as well. Haha, I even thought she released a "remix version" of A Thousand Miles. Now I have more reasons to learn the piano. Though I wanted to learn playing the piano way back then. I didn't buy Vanessa Carlton's second album Harmonium because of... Bad reviews? No. I really don't believe in reviews (music reviews, book reviews, movie reviews, accounting reviews, etc.), those subjective pieces of crap. I don't care if Mozart, Bach, or Beethoven said that the album of (insert the name of the artist you don't really like) is the album of the millennium and you're stupid if you don't buy it. Gah. It's just, I didn't have money then because I had accounts and loans payables before, and didn't really hear other songs aside from White Houses. I'm thinking of buying it if ever I'd have Christmas money this December. Just for the collection. Haha.

The other international person missing here is Avril Lavigne. Ok, if I'll rank them according to uhh, according to something, it would be Branch, Carlton, Lavigne, with Branch being the first. Avril can't really play in my opinion, but heck, I bought all her albums and loved them (especially the second one). The songs on the last album are really catchy and it could get you (or me) hyped up in a few minutes. Good as "running " or "cardio" music.


If we turn to the local side, Barbie Almalbis would top it, then Kitchie Nadal. Ohhkay, she's (Barbie) not good in doing live performances, but I don't care. I'm biased. Haha.


MORAL: Draw inspiration from other people, too. You can't be that conceited, can you? Learn from others as well, they have these things that you don't have and I can't be your inspiration all the time. Haha. Everybody listens to music. Well, except one person I know. SHE doesn't really give a dam with an N, to music. Give her an instrument, she might just drop it.

*Barney's show is not a musical. Dora is not a hero. Next time, let's shift to sports, then to food, then to movies, ok movies before food. Then we'll shift to politics and before we know it, it's the end of the world already.

Comments

Other people's reactions are the best. I typed these before and saved them because, I wanted to. I noticed most of them were from the time my phone was stolen. It's a good thing my family doesn't read blogs or things similar (but I'm not really sure), so they would never know I post things about them.

dad's comment on L300 vans:
"alam mo yang L300, magandang pangkidnap yan eh, dalawa sliding doors."

dad on me being vegetarian:
"oh kumain ka nitong tapa, malambot."

mom on me being hit by a football:
"lalaki ba ung sumipa?"

dad on my pe classmate (karen c.) accidentally hitting me in the eye:
"sana sinapak mo rin"

mom on my pe classmate accidentally hitting me:
"wow anak, ano feeling?"

mom on my lost phone:
"it's a good learning experience."

my blockmates on futsal accidents:
"football as in soccer kayo di ba, bakit parang naging wrestling at
american football?"

brother's reaction on my phone:
"-------"

sister's response on my stolen phone:
"parang nakipagbreak ka lang noh.. huh?"
me on sister's reaction:
"huh?"
mom on my sister's reaction:
"huh?"
the three of us:
"huh?"

sister on seeing a cockroach:
"ay may ipissss!!"
"ano meron?"
"ipis nga eh."

mom on telling me stay with my friend (Kat O.) whose brother hasn't picked
her up:
"samahan mo na, anak. kawawa naman, loner eh."

my brother when i didn't wear a jacket while watching Hitman
at the cold movie house:
"kasi dinosaur ka kaya hindi ka nilalamig."
"malamig nga, hindi lang ako nilalamig."
"cold-blooded! ah hindi, amphibian ka.. amphibian (5x) !! "


MORAL: A friend in need, is a friend indeed. If JAPAN = Just Always Pray at Night, what is CZECHOSLOVAKIA (Czech Republic and Slovak Republic) for?