Private Jeepney

Something caught my attention. I shot this while we were on our way to Parañaque along Sucat. Wow, talk about private jeepneys and "excess baggage". I don't know if they know this man, or maybe he's just hitching and Filipinos are very hospitable. *clap clap* Overloading is not good. Hoorah, I really love jeepneys and they come in different shapes and designs!! So hurry, grab one before it's too late. See posters and print ads for more details.


MORAL: Wear helmets and paddings or whatever protective gear you can think of. Yes, even sunblocks. We don't want heatstroke nowadays so drink a lot of clean water. It doesn't mean that if it is clear, it is clean. The letter R is different from the letter N.

Dear Diarya

Last time, when we had our swimming party (with my highschool friends), most of us didn't sleep. Well, we thought that time would be better spent by sharing stories rather than dozing off. But a couple (e.g. Michael* and Erickson*) couldn't stay up until 4am and slept soundly even though we were hysterical inside the room with all the stories and the commotion c/o Sara Lei* (pretend you know her) who can kill someone when she feels really afraid. (She grabbed Mary's esophagus, ok throat, when she was spooked and her fingernails buried into another's back.) By the way, Mary* thought she was going to die that time. Cheers, she didn't. But that would be another story if anything else happened to her.

When you're talking and sharing stories, anything goes, just as long as you can say anything, well, we don't tell tall tales just for the sake of having to share something. Then the topic of LBM (loose bowel movement), unwanted defecation (I can't think of any appropriate words, sorry), and plain excretion of wastes arose. Surprisingly, a lot chipped in to the story, and some were about others, some about those who were sleeping (that's called stabbing in front!) and those who were not able to come because of fairly-believable-reasons (like "it's my sister's graduation". I remembered some of the stories like the one about Reema* together with Carl* and Erickson who use (until now) the Engineering building's bathrooms when they want to release their burden from the large intestines, because the toilets there are clean since only a few use them. They would even make it their meeting place, "Let's meet at the 6th floor, you know that already. I ate too much during lunch." Of course, the clean bathroom is on the 6th floor.

Another about Reema, who flew to Arabia a while ago and I forgot to tell her to bring me pasalubong when she comes back, was that when her stomach ached so much. Traffic knows when to get you when you're in a hurry, always perfect timing. She rode a jeepney (spare me from jeepneys) to get home since she knew she would make a mess (I don't know how, and I'm not interested) if she does it in their "full of people" bathroom. Then that was it, traffic got her. She realized it was lunch time, thus, the common lunch rush hour. She can barely handle the pressure from within (oooh) so she told the driver, since she was the only passenger, that she would lie down (she didn't ask permission, she just told the driver. She's the boss!) because she was really in pain (I think more of desperation, she doesn't want to stain her white uniform with fecal matter). By the time she went home, she was running amok. Shouting "walang gagamit ng banyo, taeng tae na ako!"

Coming Soon: More Dear Diarya stories. They are better and smarter. Bwahaha.


MORAL: Whatever you eat, wherever you go, be prepared. What you leave would still stink even if you cover it with all the perfumes and soil (?). Sure it wasn't a desirable event, and you'll realize, nature prevails. Haha, diarrhea is not good! But it makes good stories to share. Ang ebak, lagyan mo man ng pabango at pagandahin, ebak pa rin. Whatever.

*Names were changed to protect the innocent. Hohoho..

Full the String to Stop Manong!

The jeepney is the automotive icon of the Philippines. When American troops began to leave the Philippines at the end of World War II, hundreds of surplus jeeps were sold or given to local Filipinos. Locals stripped down the jeeps to accommodate several passengers, added metal roofs for shade, and decorated the vehicles with vibrant colors. (Americans are really everywhere, even in our jeepneys.)

The jeepney rapidly emerged as a popular and creative way to reestablish inexpensive public transportation. Inexpensive, like the drivers' temper. Sheesh.


It has been a while since I've ridden a public jeepney. I rode one yesterday with a friend. I'm always nervous when we're near our destination, I mean with all the "para!" or "sa tabi lang po!" thing. Then there are those "barkers" who constantly haunt you with their "konting usog lang sa kaliwa/kanan." They really try to maximize the spaces inside. Lucky you if all the passengers inside are uhh, ok, let's say, have an average size. Whatever happened to the aircon-jeepneys?! There are also the "innovation" with a cord in the middle of the jeepney's ceiling which has a note "Full the String to Stop" but with the intention to say Pull the String to Stop. One thing nice about Philippine transportation is that jeepneys are the kings! They can stop anywhere their passengers like, no strict jeepney/bus stops to notice at all. The world is their jeepney stop, woohoo.

My friend and I were talking about the cord. I told him I want to pull it, since my destination is getting nearer. I was just about to pull it, with my arm raised already, then the jeepney suddenly stopped! So I thought, "ok, I didn't pull it yet, so maybe one of the passengers would go down." Then we were at halt for around 5 seconds (never thought a second would be THAT long). Everyone was looking at us, like we just pulled it. They just need to point their fingers at us to emphasize the moment dramatically, but we had tennis racquets with us and I guessed they noticed them as well. They could get a good hitting with the racquets, but I am NOT a violent person. (I don't know with my friend though.) Finally, all the silence and staring mixed with hot midday extreme temperature, I blurted out, "EXCUSE ME, we didn't pull the string!"

So ok, not a good move. After 3 seconds, I "pulled the string to stop" because that's where I'm supposed to go. Then it was like the driver was blind or something, so I was jerking the cord and the red lamp in front of him was blinking like hell already. Finally, I said, "MANONG STOP!!!" because we were so far now. Maybe he was exacting his revenge, I don't know. Finally, I was dropped off, it was so warm, I could feel everyone's blood pressure rising. I had to cross the street without my favorite pedestrian lane (you see, I'm not so good and confident crossing streets, even if it would make my journey longer, I would opt to use the overpass and the pedestrian lanes) and was nervous as a hydrophobic seeing water. Not to worry, I reached home anyway, and that is all that matters. Seriously, me is equal to everything. (Hate mails are just a click away, and I can hit well with my feet and racquet. So I guess, we're cool with that.)


MORAL: Some jeepney drivers are really impatient, mad, crazy, and deaf. Blame all those super loud speakers that would get your butt jumping in no time because of the extreme bass. I don't know, there is just something with jeepneys and me. It's not that I try to make everything matter or revolve around me, but really, if saying "para" or pulling the string to stop is as important as breathing, I would be dead by now. (I remembered one time my sister pretended to sleep as we were nearing our stop, forcing me to say "para", I was so hesitant we almost reached the end of the ride. Crap!) One last thing, don't do anything that would make the driver mad, your lives are at stake, he is behind the steering wheel, you know.

Host Stage

A drama hostage in front of the Manila City Hall made international waves. I was watching it on CNN since the local channels had their noontime shows on. Wow. We're famous again! Just like when we were on top of the corruption list (take that Indonesia, we're number one, baby!).

Ahh.. If I want to be heard, I must put up a hostage drama myself. Like the man who rants about education, he held school children on the way to a field trip. If I want to rave about exams, pollution, and computer viruses, what or who would I have to take?


MORAL: Grab someone and use him to get your wishes broadcasted on live media with promises from politicians. (Don't forget the grenade and some weapons!) Woohoo. Let's follow the man's footsteps to have our wishes come true, then you don't even have to wait for your birthday and blow those freaking candles..

Interrogating A BanAnna

Ten Questions or Not (fine, for Humanity):
special guest: *Anna B. which means Anna Banana. Haha, no, seriously, but it is really Anna B

1.] How are you feeling today? Any sense of guilt, troubled conscience, hatred, depression, schizophrenia, and anger?
= I feel guilty, troubled, depressed and schizoprenic because of your attempt to redeem humanity. Hahahaha harsh. :)
*That's what insecure, insensitive people feel when they recognize humanitarians like me, and they realize they can't do anything but contribute to the downhill human race. Harsh.

2.] Put into mind what the boy did in the story A Leak in the Dike, and when Jose Rizal died for his country. If you would run for president or any position, what would be your campaign jingle? Insert your lyrics if you must.
= Campaign jingle? Wag na lang. Mag-aacrobatics na lang ako sa TV. Or ipapakita sa kanila ang Foundation Form no.1 and 2 sa taekwondo. That's more useful!
*That would be useful, but would that be entertaining? Gosh, of all things. Haha, why don't you try lifting weights? Foundation Form with musical accompaniment. Exciting!

Voter: I'll vote Anna!
Quidnunc A: Why? She doesn't have a campaign jingle for Sparta's sake! Jingles are all that matter!
Voter: Ay, yeah I forgot. But, she did something interesting a while ago!
Quidnunc A: What? The photographer-unfriendly poses? Eeeww. I don't want to vote for someone who knows martial arts, even some of it.
Voter: Why? What do you have against martial artists?
Quidnunc A: Why are you so inquisitive? I am the quidnunc here!
Quidnunc B aka Voter: Because I am a responsible citizen.
Quidnunc A: Sheesh, I'll just vote Serena Williams.
Quidnunc B: Why? She has an orange belt in Taekwondo, she knows martial arts.
Quidnunc A: Whatever, why do you keep on asking?!
Quidnunc B: Because I want to know...
Quidnunc A: Wait, who are you?! Why are you in my living room sitting on my couch!?
Quidnunc B: What? You're not my cousin? Sorry! I got the wrong address!

3.] If you could tell the word just one thing it would be --- ?
= Ang gugulo niyo. Swear. Ako lang ang maayos. Booooo haha ;p
*Kung magulo sila at ikaw lang ang maayos, maaaring ikaw ay may problema. Abnormal ka.

4.] I know you love hurting people physically, why?
= No I don't love hurting people physically no. Except in taekwondo, where I find absolute bliss in hearing the sound of my kick making contact with the armor (or better yet, my sparring partner's body). HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hello. When I took up takewondo I realized that my leg CAN have a polka dot pattern.That's why nagpaparamihan kami palagi ng pasa ng ka-spar ko. Sa binti niya ako tinatamaan. Garrr! Dahil sa kanya, I can't wear pretty skirts. Wah.
*Then wear not-so-pretty skirts. Haha.

5.] Let's talk about relationships. What do you think of divorce or annulment? So?
=Divorce? Gasgas na yan eh. Ibang tanong naman.
Anyway, well, ayoko ng divorce. Wawa ang kids. Mukha lang naman kasing tanga eh. Kapag nakipag-divorce ka, ibig sabihin you are an idiot. Hello nagpakasal ka na tapos makikipaghiwalay ka? Duh. Walang commitment. Kaya magulo ang mundo eh. See?
*Don't complain about my questions. This is not about you, this is about humanity. Selfish people always complain. (Take that! Mwahaha.)

6.] Would you rather do side kicks 10 times or do sit-ups for 150 times then do 30 push-ups? State the reason of your choice.
= I would rather do side kicks 10 times. At least 10 lang. Yung isa 150+30. Duh. No-brainer. Marunong ako mag-add noh.
*I'm so happy you do know how. But, why did you still use your calculator on that?

7.] They say patience is a virtue. What do you mean by virtue? Do you believe in it?
= Virtue. Ah, virtue? Ang virtue ay isang magandang paniniwala na dapat isabuhay. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Um, anyway, oo? Naniniwala ata ako. Kasi minsan totoo eh.
*Do you think people care (aside from me, because other people's condition is my first priority) about what you believe in?

8.] Yoda is a character in Star Wars. Have you seen a shooting star?
= I haven't seen a shooting star, pero napanood ko na ang Star Wars the full saga sa Star Movies noong buong January hahaha.
*Nicely answered. It's because you used to study in St. John's. Biased, haha.

9.] Love at first sight - is it real? Why or why not? Is it because of personal experience/s or just because you are cynical, hard and cold?
= It is not real, but that will be my cynical answer. It is real, because of my personal experience, no matter how much I deny and lie and fool you about it hahahaha.
*Wow, whatever. Do blind people experience love at first sight? I wonder.

10.] You are a student, right? Or are you just a couch potato? If you are a student, what food would you buy in the cafeteria? I hope you are not on a diet.
= Paano ako magda-diet? Wala na akong maida-diet sa katawan ko hello. I would buy all the food in the caf para pag tumaba na ako, magda-diet na ako, kasi nga mataba na ako. O diba.
*Buy all the food in the caf? Wow, rich. Buy everything, but you have to eat them all. Like Pokemon, 'gotta catch them all'. If it was me, I would buy food then donate them to charity, like for the orphans, or the streetchildren. I won't eat them for myself. Tsktsk, selfish. I wish you could see yourself now. =)


MORAL: Please remember this is for humanity. Anna Banana is a real person, take pity on her. She is currently experiencing emotional problems because of someone she knows way back. Well, her concerns are none of the streetchildren's business. But the children's concers must be on everyone's business. Boohoo. I must be given an award for this, like for being so sensitive and responsible, and compassionate. Oh wait, the United Nations sent me an e-mail, I'll read it first...

Never Miss A Shot

A Sony Ericsson commercial featuring two of my favorite tennis players (there are a lot of them) - Daniela Hantuchova (the one who uhh, jumped from the building) and Ana Ivanovic (the one who served the ball and started the super rally). Haha, cool.

*Daniela Hantuchova won Pacific Life Open just recently and I know you don't really care, but I want to write it, anyway, so who cares (besides me).



MORAL: Play tennis. That's it. Call me when you want a partner. (What do you expect, I love the game, of course I'll be biased about that.) Just don't jump from buildings, no matter how passionate you are. A ball may bounce if it falls from the sky, but humans don't bounce. They just uhh, they just don't look good when they hit the ground, especially head first.

Exorcise and Die with a T

Honestly, really, I’m not telling a lie, I’m not fond of junk food. I am blessed with a faster-than-normal metabolism and has been underweight my life. Being underweight is not a good thing, I tell you. Normal is normal, it is good to be normal in terms of health (not in personality, academics, etc.). I eat a lot, really, sometimes you can’t even tell if I’m eating or I’m feasting. Especially when the food is something that drives my palate nuts. However, that is not my topic for now.

If we want to lose weight, they say we eat nutritious food blahblah, which oftentimes most don’t really follow (the oily aroma of synthetic burgers and the appeal of MSG-fortified chips are enough to make us grow bigger – and wider), and EXERCISE.

First thing that comes to my mind when I hear exercise is, “When?” Really, no matter how much you try to learn about time management and all those set your priorities thing, there really is no time for exercising, unless you want to exercise your body during midnight. (this is true, really, when you work all day or go to school then get home to do homeworks or what-not’s, when can you chip exercise time in?)

They say if you can’t find time to exercise, do something else physically. Like, take the stairs, walk instead of using your car, use public transportation sometimes, and other similar things. Maybe you can handwash your clothes instead of using the washing machine (plus extra workout when there are stains!). Also, take the stairs when you work or study on the 12th floor, walk to school or work and you can feel all pollution and sweat, not to mention all your colleagues can smell the number of trucks that passed by you on your way going to work. Perspiration, woohoo. Nothing beats body sweat.

Being a student, well, I think I can insert exercise in my schedule. Like when I get home after school, maybe instead of checking if I have homeworks or if I have to study for a quiz tomorrow, I can just skip rope, or do sit-ups. Wow. Talk about priorities. Of what use is my education if I am as sick as uhh, hmm, err, sick person? I won’t get to use what I’ve learned all my life while laying in my deathbed or let’s say something less grave like, when I am sick all day with cough and colds, I can’t do anything productive. Spreading virus by coughing or sneezing is not productive. (I love sarcasm.)

But what can we do about it? Instead of doing my advice of prioritizing (which is sooo cliché anyway), why don’t we all just crash diet? Really. Like we just don’t eat anything? Or if we can’t control ourselves, we just eat once and that’s it! Drink a lot of water in the meantime to stuff your stomach as well.

MORAL: Summertime brings out the other side of people. The ideas of beaches, and swimsuits make one think of great bodies. And what way to have a great body when summer is nearing? Diet and Exercise!! (both starting with a capital letter) Exercise for heaven’s sake. Crash dieting is not good, ulcers are not friendly. Pain is not worth a slightly skinny body. But if you think of otherwise, please get help.

The Other Half Body

It's like they have Velcro in their bodies wherein they can detach themselves then reattach their bodies when they are done flying around *eek, eek*. Wow, amazing! I wish someone from Discovery Channel would document on this creature, Philippines would be a popular tourist spot. Rake in the money, "Awoo!" to our economy.


The manananggal literally means "one who can remove". A manananggal is described as being an older, beautiful woman (as opposed to an aswang), capable of severing its upper torso in order to fly into the night with huge bat-like wings to prey on unsuspecting, pregnant women in their homes; using an elongated proboscis-like tongue, it sucks the hearts of fetuses or blood of an unsuspecting, sleeping victim. The severed lower torso is left standing and it is said to be the more vulnerable of the two halves (source: Wikipedia).

Cool, let's wait for them!! But really, I don't want to meet them, knowing they suck the blood out of unsuspecting people (there is some time when I am "unsuspecting"). I am a precious child. However, preggies beware! (Hmm, another method of reducing the human population... Not bad, not bad.)

Manananggals are not superhumans, or , supercreatures. Just like Superman, (no they don't wear briefs outside their Spandex) they have a notable weakness. According to Wikipedia, their lower torso is the most vulnerable part. (Do humans consider their lower torso a vulnerable part? Hmmm... That would be another post.)

How To Destroy A Manananggal In 4 Easy Steps

1. Locate the lower , stationary half of her body. She leaves it in some dark corner of her house.

2. Pour a cup of rock salt into the exposed guts. When she returns, she will not be able to reattach herself to her lower torso.

3. She will go berserk. Hide.

4. Wait for sunrise. If she hasn't reassumed her human form by then, the early morning sunlight will vaporize her.

MORAL: I think everyone must have a copy of the easy 4-step guide. Or memorize it. It's just 4 easy steps, right? It's not everyday that one could meet a manananggal, so better be prepared for that once-in-a-lifetime encounter. But what if you use some super adhesive instead? Or pour the trusty old muriatic acid straight-on? Please don't ask me why muriatic acid is trusty. (notice the "Please".) But how would we know if the acid (wait how about vinegar?) or the adhesive will work? Do my own 2-Step Guide on Testing If The Manananggal Killing Thing Works.

1. Cut yourself open. Any part of the body would do, not necessarily the lower torso. You can rip your fingers off if wanted.

2. Apply the desired materials (mint mouthwash, vinegar, pesticide, perfume, super glue, sand, saltwater, kerosene, toothpaste, feminine wash, whatever) onto the wound DIRECTLY. No need to wait for sunrise when you do this (you will not die, don't worry. *sinister smile*).

If the process worked or if it didn't produce the desired effect, try again or seek professional medical help (not psychological, but if desired, go. I'll support you). Happy experimentation! Enjoy. =)


*photo: loren javier
*4 easy steps: jessica zafra
*2 easy profound steps: mine

300 Flying V-Monologues

I saw someone from the video game Street Fighter in the movie 300. Guess who?

I have never seen such a muscular movie, with loin cloths (then leather, how would it feel wearing leather ones), and ooh, the curtain dresses of the Queen look nice. Also, the pretty gladiator sandals - I want to have one without having to fight Persians and tikbalangs (creatures that have human bodies with horse heads).

Only Spartan women give birth to real men.

How does it smell?!
= It smells like somewhere between fish and lilac.

What is a period?
= It is a punctuation placed at the end of a sentence.

(Women) hemorrhage every month. Whatever.

I have never seen so many abs in my life. Waiting for the Vagina Monologues (Mar 7) until 7pm, we went out to watch a movie. "What movies are available for our schedule?" My classmate said, "Pursuit (per-shoot) of Happyness, and 300." Ok, so we went to watch the latter. I was mocking the movie earlier during our break when my blockmates were asking about it. I told them it would cost them 300PHP to watch the movie, it would play at 3:00, and only 300 people can watch it. I didn't know I would be one of them. But the thought of gore and violence got me daydreaming of how to minimize the human population. (I want to be an animal rights activist.) A lot of animals were slaughtered there. Oh, a large number of men, as well, like I care.

King Xerxes had his eyebrows done by Leonardo da Vinci. A big person with a lot of piercings, jewelries, ornaments and I thought he would stretch his arms out to hug or slap Leonidas, or spit fire from his mouth. I thought he had powers used for violence and bloodshed. There were different creatures as well, I thought the elephants were from Sri Lanka or Thailand, and was anticipating for the Philippines' representative - the manananggals (Filipino mythological creatures = women with wings who leave the lower half of their bodies then fly out to eat babies). Unfortunately, there were no manananggals for me. (It's not like I want to see them vis-a-vis. Please, don't terrorize me. The image of King Xerxes is enough to give me the creeps.)

300 Spartans multiplied by either 6 or 8-pack abs is equal to what? I'll leave the answer to you. It's a lot of muscles. Muscles. Muscles. Blah, sometimes those abs were so distracting I wasn't able to see how they looked like. Really. One Spartan who looks pretty, even got headless because he was deaf (of course this is not true, he was too involved with the father-and-son-to-be-headless moment) and didn't hear the Persian with a horsie (or was it a pony?) galloping towards them ("them" is equal to pretty, headless Spartan with a ripped body buddy). Swoosh! The sword was really sharp and the Persian guy got him at one blow! At least our Spartan still looks nice, with his face not mashed up or something that looks like crumpled paper, and his ripped body still showing the world a lot of muscles. Awoo!

I don't know how to write about Vagina Monologues. I know there are no media board here, but, hey, I found it really good. All those monologues about THE vagina and the facts as well! Here is one I remembered from the show, (we are intellectual, matured, post-modern people, so I know this fact is something)

The clitoris is the only part of the body mainly for pleasure purposes. It has 6,000 nerve endings, a half more than the penis. So why would you want a handgun, when you have a semi-automatic?! (This is not the exact fact, I can't remember it verbatim, crap! Curse pollution - you are sucking my memory cells!)


MORAL: If you want to inflict pain, do not use a very sharp sword or spear or arrow. Try a pen, or a meat cleaver, instead. Then chop or poke continuously until they uhh, cry from joy. Movie for everyone, well not for really young kids who are easily brainwashed and maybe those people who are not really young but have the conception of something like "Violence is the key to the future! I saw it at the movies! Stabbing my colleague won't hurt him! Let's go to the gym and be ripped like those Spartans!" Male species have great scenes for them like the Oracle dancing, and uhh, Leonidas and the Queen's hug. Females have all those 300 Spartans to notice plus the young Leonidas (a must-see character, haha). Violent people have all the mutilation and bloody scenes while the artists have Xerxes eyebrows and the film itself. Awoo!

*Awoo! is the battle cry of the Spartans, not the howling sound of dogs or wolves.