Kingdom, Queendom, Boredom

We have electricity, so, no, it's not a brownout-induced sadness. I don't know what it is, so maybe this feeling doesn't exist as to logocentrism. (hello, this is definitely not love! Rip me apart still it is not love, hatred maybe. But a Jedi knows no fear and no love.) For me, this feeling lives even though there is exactly no word for it. It is not depression or what, maybe similar but I don't really know, you tell me. Mix boredom and sadness together, make that unwanted boredom and unexplainable sadness, and you'll get it. It is not the sadness I have whenever I get my period or what, neither is it broedom from nothing to do because I have heaps of papers to edit and a lot of reaction papers to react to and write about. Mind you, all are due before the week ends and I haven't even laid my eyes (and thoughts) on them.

I refused to sleep and play a video game because I think that those two activities make you forget about time. And I don't want to waste my time sleeping and playing till the sun is out (which I often do before, and add being reprimanded for loving to do it). I really just wanted to go out (not party and stuff) and have a walk or run, just someting to let my mind fly (not time). However it is near evening and with our security (our helpers) here I won't easily be allowed to stroll somewhere without anyone with me and with practically no reason. (Because if I need something I would be accompanied and even dropped off where I want to be)

I resolved to do something to make-up for my unexplained feeling that is getting worse every minute. I took a bath, listened to music, ate ice cream in sugar cone (make that 3 servings), and chatted with my friends. Yes, I have talked (chat, that is) to the people I wanted to talk with and they lessened my strange agony. (Those senseless, nonsense messages really helped me a lot, promise.ü) Everything ends (not this feeling), and they went offline and left me with people who are very busy, or pretending to be (because it make you look like a very important person with a lot of things to do). I ate again, I can't think of anything to do so don't blame me, and again and again. I still wanted to walk around, make my mind wander and even run around but then I remembered that this is (sad truth) the Philippines; I can't just walk or run around without taking in so much carbon monoxide to make me feel better or whatever. Typing helps a little, so I'm doing it now.

Unexplained feeling, nope, I'm not pregnant (who the heck would think of this?! well, one did, you know who you are), I'm actually having it, what am I talking (typing for the matter) about. I'm tired of playing online games for today even though there is like a promo in the game and you're stupid if you miss this one out. But I let it pass, so maybe I won't be under those stupid people. I'm being reprimanded already, I'm really not feeling well. I finished watching Charlie's Angels on dvd, I picked it by random. Nope, it didn't help alleviate anything. My eyes are twitching already, I think sleep may help, I'm really not sure.
MORAL: When you don't feel well, and it is really not a disease, don't talk too much. It just leads to negative consequences. Thank God you don't experience what I am experiencing now. I know it'll go away, nontheless. ^_^ (fake happiness)