Dear Diarya

Last time, when we had our swimming party (with my highschool friends), most of us didn't sleep. Well, we thought that time would be better spent by sharing stories rather than dozing off. But a couple (e.g. Michael* and Erickson*) couldn't stay up until 4am and slept soundly even though we were hysterical inside the room with all the stories and the commotion c/o Sara Lei* (pretend you know her) who can kill someone when she feels really afraid. (She grabbed Mary's esophagus, ok throat, when she was spooked and her fingernails buried into another's back.) By the way, Mary* thought she was going to die that time. Cheers, she didn't. But that would be another story if anything else happened to her.

When you're talking and sharing stories, anything goes, just as long as you can say anything, well, we don't tell tall tales just for the sake of having to share something. Then the topic of LBM (loose bowel movement), unwanted defecation (I can't think of any appropriate words, sorry), and plain excretion of wastes arose. Surprisingly, a lot chipped in to the story, and some were about others, some about those who were sleeping (that's called stabbing in front!) and those who were not able to come because of fairly-believable-reasons (like "it's my sister's graduation". I remembered some of the stories like the one about Reema* together with Carl* and Erickson who use (until now) the Engineering building's bathrooms when they want to release their burden from the large intestines, because the toilets there are clean since only a few use them. They would even make it their meeting place, "Let's meet at the 6th floor, you know that already. I ate too much during lunch." Of course, the clean bathroom is on the 6th floor.

Another about Reema, who flew to Arabia a while ago and I forgot to tell her to bring me pasalubong when she comes back, was that when her stomach ached so much. Traffic knows when to get you when you're in a hurry, always perfect timing. She rode a jeepney (spare me from jeepneys) to get home since she knew she would make a mess (I don't know how, and I'm not interested) if she does it in their "full of people" bathroom. Then that was it, traffic got her. She realized it was lunch time, thus, the common lunch rush hour. She can barely handle the pressure from within (oooh) so she told the driver, since she was the only passenger, that she would lie down (she didn't ask permission, she just told the driver. She's the boss!) because she was really in pain (I think more of desperation, she doesn't want to stain her white uniform with fecal matter). By the time she went home, she was running amok. Shouting "walang gagamit ng banyo, taeng tae na ako!"

Coming Soon: More Dear Diarya stories. They are better and smarter. Bwahaha.


MORAL: Whatever you eat, wherever you go, be prepared. What you leave would still stink even if you cover it with all the perfumes and soil (?). Sure it wasn't a desirable event, and you'll realize, nature prevails. Haha, diarrhea is not good! But it makes good stories to share. Ang ebak, lagyan mo man ng pabango at pagandahin, ebak pa rin. Whatever.

*Names were changed to protect the innocent. Hohoho..