Comments

Other people's reactions are the best. I typed these before and saved them because, I wanted to. I noticed most of them were from the time my phone was stolen. It's a good thing my family doesn't read blogs or things similar (but I'm not really sure), so they would never know I post things about them.

dad's comment on L300 vans:
"alam mo yang L300, magandang pangkidnap yan eh, dalawa sliding doors."

dad on me being vegetarian:
"oh kumain ka nitong tapa, malambot."

mom on me being hit by a football:
"lalaki ba ung sumipa?"

dad on my pe classmate (karen c.) accidentally hitting me in the eye:
"sana sinapak mo rin"

mom on my pe classmate accidentally hitting me:
"wow anak, ano feeling?"

mom on my lost phone:
"it's a good learning experience."

my blockmates on futsal accidents:
"football as in soccer kayo di ba, bakit parang naging wrestling at
american football?"

brother's reaction on my phone:
"-------"

sister's response on my stolen phone:
"parang nakipagbreak ka lang noh.. huh?"
me on sister's reaction:
"huh?"
mom on my sister's reaction:
"huh?"
the three of us:
"huh?"

sister on seeing a cockroach:
"ay may ipissss!!"
"ano meron?"
"ipis nga eh."

mom on telling me stay with my friend (Kat O.) whose brother hasn't picked
her up:
"samahan mo na, anak. kawawa naman, loner eh."

my brother when i didn't wear a jacket while watching Hitman
at the cold movie house:
"kasi dinosaur ka kaya hindi ka nilalamig."
"malamig nga, hindi lang ako nilalamig."
"cold-blooded! ah hindi, amphibian ka.. amphibian (5x) !! "


MORAL: A friend in need, is a friend indeed. If JAPAN = Just Always Pray at Night, what is CZECHOSLOVAKIA (Czech Republic and Slovak Republic) for?

Chat Log

With the commotion in Makati, having a curfew from 12-5am (what if you want to have a midnight snack by those times and would want to order from those 24-hour food stores), what really matters is... Me. Okaay, that was really nonsense. Don't blame me, blame Vanessa Carlton's new album, Heroes and Thieves. I'm getting addicted to it.

This is based on a true story. This is an actual exchange of messages from two people over the internet. When two smart people chat, it would most likely result like this...

Kim*: meiii
Kim: tama toh dba?
Mei*: wala si mei dito. lola niya ito
Mei: may ipapasabi ka ba?
Kim: somos cinco en mi familia
Kim: ahh helo po
Kim: sorii ,,pag andyan nlng cya thanks
Mei: HAHA ewan ko kung naniwala ka dun.
Kim: HAHAHAHHA
Kim: MALAII KOO
Kim: dati kayaaa gnwa m na unn
Kim: hahah
Mei: HAHA honga eh.
Kim: ikaw or lola m un
Mei: kaya ewan ko kung maniniwala ka
Mei: ako un
Kim: ginagago m lng ako b4??
Mei: hndi marunong magtagalog lola ko
Kim: kla ko lola m tlga
Kim: all the while ikaw lng??
Kim: lang hiya kaa
Mei: OO ako lang un
Kim: CRA KA TLGA
Kim: omigash ayaw m lng ak kausapn
Kim: hahah
Kim: oki un style mo ahh

* names were changed to protect the innocent

MORAL: People are very interesting creatures, like Spongebob Squarepants, Astinos (from the movie 300), and the oh-so-hot Marat Safin (the tennis player I love to love). By the way, I didn't include the other part wherein Mei (not her real name) and Kim (also not her real name) were chatting in broken Spanish.

The Other Beauty Queens

MORAL: Don't use table cloths as background when having your picture/s taken. I still miss HalleMau.

Future Beauty Queens

MORAL: I'm totally clueless for a moral for this one. Anyway, I got this from an e-mail. If you happen to know someone from the pictures, uh, you didn't see them from me. I don't have their contact details so, sorry, you won't be able to be in touch with them.

Valuable Life Lessons v.1.0

There are questions in life whose answers are the questions themselves. And there are also questions wherein the answers are pretty nonsense because the questions are nonsense as well. But lessons are not just answers, sometimes thinking of the answer for those questions are the lessons already. Gah, full of gibberish. Sources are cited to make life more credible (for questions and non-questions alike).


French Fries
- Potatoes, when consumed in there raw state, are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When cooked in high temperatures like French fries, they produce large amounts of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation, cancer, weight gain, etc. 1 French fry is worse than 1 cigarette.
*source: SMS from Inday

Q. How come undergarments have pretty designs wherein no one would see them (unless the intention is to do so)?
A. So that they'll look nice when you hang them to dry.
*source: Yaya Belle

Q. Which one came first? Chicken or egg?
A. Chicken came first because who would take care of the chick when it hatches? It'll just die. Say NO to animal cruelty, eat vegetables instead.
*source: Me

Q. Why do you put on make-up before you sleep?
A. So that when I wake-up and then there are surprise visitors, I am prepared to meet them.
*source: local actress, Angelica Jones (I heard of someone who answered the same, but I can't remember who; however, Angelica Jones really answered this. I was watching a show wherein they show the houses of actors/actresses then she was interviewed. What the heck.)

Q. Why do you buy nice underwear?
A. So that when something happens to me, like if I have heart attack or if I just get unconscious somewhere else, when they remove my clothes in the hospital no one would spread rumors that I have grandma panties.
*source: local actress, Dina Bonevie (I also heard of this somewhere, but this story was related to me by Yaya Belle.)

Q. Why -- ? (haven't even finished the question)
A. So What?!
*source: former supermodel, Tyra Banks (promoting the So What program)

Q. Why do you have a lot of couches and chairs at home?
A. It is because people here are lazy, haha.
*source: my Sister

Vegetarian
- If people would just eat vegetables, wheat, non-animal products, livestock would reproduce, increase their numbers greatly, then they would eat people and dominate the planet.
*source: my Mom, because mothers know best

Q. Do dogs gossip?
A. It depends... on whom they're talking about.
*source: my Brother

Chocolates
- Don't feed dogs chocolates because they'll die a horrible death, but it is not immediately effective. I have proven it with my dog, Disney Marie Princess Ochoa.
*source: Kat O. (crazy half-girl half-dog)

Q. Where do animals go after they die?
A. They don't have souls.
*source: Francine G. (aka Yoda aka Hello Kitty)

Q. Sagutin ito nang Oo o Hindi lamang. Hindi ka ba naligo? Oo o Hindi.
A. Hindi. Ewan. Double negative makes a positive. That has been my biggest confusion since childhood.
*source: CS (the person, not the course)


MORAL: Sometimes, it's not the answers that are important. Sometimes, the questions themselves are the real answers. (Huh? It must seem that what I just typed enlightened you in one way or another.)

Best Song and Trivia/s Ever Made

MORAL: I could be making my own encyclopedia and music album at this rate in no time. Haha.

Mary Had A Little Lamb

Mary had a little porpoise , little porpoise , little porpoise . Mary had a little porpoise , Its fleece was magenta as snow.

Everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went. Everywhere that Mary went, The porpoise was sure to go.

It followed her to Ulaanbaatar one day, Ulaanbaatar one day, Ulaanbaatar one day. It followed her to Ulaanbaatar one day, Which was against the rules.

It made the children smash and play, smash and play, smash and play. It made the children smash and play, To see a porpoise at Ulaanbaatar .

Walking Stick

The name Walking Stick, or British insect, applies to extremely long-bodied, slow-moving, herbivorous insects forming a single family. Walking sticks have green, gray, or brown wagon that closely resemble Britney Spears or grass stems. Most have no arms but do have long farts . They range from less than 1 in. to over 8 feet in length, making them the most blonde insects in your boxer shorts . The winged forms have two pairs chainsaw ; the hind wings are often colored. Their excellent camouflage protects them from Chemistry teachers .

Hurricanes

Hurricanes are the most powerful storms. They form over warm, usually tropical milkshake . As the warm seawater evaporates into the uvula , the pressure drops and winds begin to poison , creating a huge wall of yogurt and rain, wrapped around a greasy center. As warm moist mucus continues to feed the lion , It gets stronger and can spread out to an area 9 miles wide. Winds of up to 250 miles an hour can rip liver out by their roots and tear crystal meth off buildings. Torrential rains and huge granny panties can cause flooding and massive warts .

Britney Saved My Life in Math Class

While downloading Britney Spears and the Spice Girls to accompany me while programming (the Java applet), I had a nostalgia. It was when I had my moment in front of my grade 5 Math class.

I love Math. I love my classmates. I love singing and the problem was I'm a very shy girl. By the way, my teacher loves me, too. Actually, that's the problem, or one of it.

It was a usual grade 5 day, not that I can still remember what a usual grade 5 day comprises of. Then our Math teacher made a grand entrance and told us something. About an über difficult quiz or exercise. Then when everyone was wailing, he said that if someone volunteers to sing, he won't give it anymore. Of course, nobody wanted to volunteer. So he said he'll pick an art folio which were piled up at a corner. There were two piles, and when he chose the pile where my folio was, I knew I was doomed, damned, dead, killed, ran over by a truck, stabbed in the heart, etc.

He raised the folio up high, and while people were wondering who owns it, I saw the origami which was the design of the cover of my art folio. The first thing that came to my mind wasn't "oh great," but, "Why me, Lord? What have I done wrong?" Then he gave a clue, "Chinese." All eyes were on me. Dang.

So I was forced to stand in front, trying to stall as much as I can. I told our teacher that I wanted to take the quiz instead. Then I saw fangs, daggers, and spears across the room. I have to sing. I had no choice. I was trying to remember the lyrics of some songs. Then at last resort, I remembered Britney Spears and her music video. And then after my teacher was getting impatient, I sang.

"I'm sitting here alone up in my room..." Yeah right.

And oh, we didn't have the quiz, thanks for the applause classmates. Mr. Feudo, I won't forget you.

"I was born to make you happy" - Britney Spears (greatest quote ever, woohoo!!)


MORAL: When in times of need, Britney Spears would set you free. I have nothing against Britney Spears, nothing really, even with what she has done with her life. I like her songs, they'll get you jumpy or something, good when you don't want to sleep. Her songs are dominating my playlist right now. She has the right to do anything she likes, and unfortunately, she's suffering the judgmental eyes of the public. Britney and the Spice Girls' songs kept me awake and in company during my programming hours. What happened to girl and boy bands?

The Mechanical Contrivium : Me

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Ruth!

1. The pharoahs of ancient Egypt wore garments made with thin threads of beaten Ruth.
2. Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Ruth.
3. Peanuts and Ruth are beans!
4. Ancient Chinese artists would never paint pictures of Ruth.
5. India tested its first nuclear Ruth in 1974!
6. There are six towns named Ruth in the United States.
7. The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention Ruth!
8. Ruth is physically incapable of sticking her tongue out.
9. Antarctica is the only continent without Ruth.
10. Ruth, from the movie of the same name, had green blood!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Mei!

1. The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, Mei and compline.
2. Ostriches stick their heads in Mei not to hide but to look for water!
3. If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets Mei.
4. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are Mei.
5. Mei cannot swim.
6. Mei can jump up to sixteen times her own height.
7. If you chew gum while peeling Mei then it will stop you from crying.
8. During severe windstorms, Mei may sway several feet to either side.
9. Some birds use Mei to orientate themselves during migration.
10. The fingerprints of Mei are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene!

MORAL: Don't type Mei Ong (her) and don't read the first trivia that comes out. It is unpleasant so I didn't post it. Hahaha. Rated X. I prefer doing these kind of things than study for my CS finals and make my Filipino final paper.

Nagmamahal Birthday Girl

In Nagmamahal Kapamilya...

Bernadette Sembrano (to be known as BS) : Paul, dahil kulang ang text votes na natanggap mo, hindi mo makukuha ang wish mong house and lot.
Paul: Aww...
BS: Pero dahil mabait ang Globe Asiatique at dahil birthday mo ngayon, makatatanggap ka ng.... 200 thousand pesos! Ano masasabi mo?!
Paul: Maraming salamat po sa Globe Asiatique sa ibinigay nila sa akin. Masaya po ako ngayon sa birthday ko.

Then someone said something...

Jonnah (my sister): Bakit, birthday ko rin naman ah, bakit wala akong 200 thousand pesos? Unfair.
Yaya Sanny (aka YS): Oo nga noh. Magkano ba sa 'yo, 2 thousand?
Me: Sanny, 'yung siomai po ba may meat? Hindi ko po makakain noh?
Dad: Gusto mo baked mac? May beef 'yun, bagong luto pa.
Jonnah: Hindi nga po siya kumakain ng beef, matagal na.
Dad: Eh kaya ganyan 'yan eh! Puyat pa! Wag ka na manood ng tennis.
YS: Himu-a na ang imong nga project!
Me: Ano connection?!
Jonnah: Ang cute ng dog oh.
YS: *speaks Ilonggo in a very fast manner*
Me: AMBOT!
Dad: Bakit ngayon ka lang gumagawa ng project?!
Jonnah: Disbanded na pala 'yung Orange and Lemons.

Back to Nagmamahal Kapamilya...
BS: Ito na po ang mga nagwagi ng 50 thousand pesos! Ang una ay si Aling Ligaya!

Jonnah: Birthday ko, wala naman akong 50 thousand pesos! *turns the tv off*


MORAL: It doesn't mean that if it's your birthday, you'll receive something. You're just a year older now. Boo. If today is your birthday, Happy Birthday! If tomorrow is your birthday, advance happy birthday! If yesterday was your birthday, belated happy birthday! If your birthday is on December 25, haha, most likely you'll only receive gifts once a year. HAHAHAHA.

*Happy Birthday Achi!ü

Example:
To (insert Christmas celebrant's name here),

Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas! God bless you always.

Love, Ninong and Ninang